A guy, burned by serial betrayals – first affair at 2.5 years of marriage, then secret flings across three more – finally divorced his ex six months ago. Now she’s pleading with puppy-dog eyes and therapy promises, claiming her cheating “isn’t who she is.”
Heartbreak, failed reconciliation, and family loss fuel his firm stand for peace, despite guilt gnawing. Reddit’s hooked on this reality-TV twist, debating cold-hearted or self-preserving in a saga of red flags and unwanted sequels.
Ex-wife persuades her ex-husband to get back together after many of her affairs, the man firmly says “no”.
A man filed for divorce after countless of times his ex wife cheated. Now she wanted them to get back together. He said no, undoubtedly.
In this Reddit story, the OP (original poster) forgave a bombshell affair early on, even shouldering blame to keep things afloat.
They patched up enough for a fragile peace, but then life threw a curveball: his dad’s cancer battle and eventual passing. Amid the grief, his wife pulled away, ramping up “girls’ nights” that screamed suspicion.
Come last fall, she drops the divorce bomb after a weekend getaway. Post-filing chats confirmed the gut punch – she’d been unfaithful on and off for three whole years.
Now, she’s all regrets and reconciliation pitches, claiming that’s “not her true self.” But actions speak louder, right? The OP’s refusal stems from exhaustion. He’s done being the safety net for someone else’s chaos.
Flip the script to her side, and you might see a woman in panic mode. Divorce isn’t the fairy-tale freedom some imagine. Solo living hits the wallet hard, and loneliness can creep in fast. Maybe she’s genuinely remorseful, viewing therapy as a magic eraser for past mistakes. Or perhaps it’s convenience talking: why start over when the old setup (stable, supportive hubby) is right there?
The OP, meanwhile, tried the forgiveness route once. It only invited round two. His guilt over “giving up” feels like classic nice-guy syndrome, but protecting your heart isn’t selfish, it’s survival.
Zoom out, and this mirrors broader relationship woes: infidelity’s ripple effects. According to a 2023 study by the Institute for Family Studies, about 20-25% of marriages experience cheating, with repeat offenders often citing unmet needs or thrill-seeking.
Yet reconciliation success hovers low. One Journal of Marital and Family Therapy report pegs it at under 20% long-term without massive changes. Here, the timing adds salt: straying during a partner’s grief is exactly emotional abandonment.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, famed for his “love lab” research, noted on Greater Good Magazine: “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments. In any interaction, there is a possibility of connecting with your partner or turning away from your partner.”
Apply that here: the ex’s “that’s not me” line dodges ownership, while the OP’s boundary-setting aligns with Gottman’s advice on self-respect. It’s a textbook case why one strike (let alone multiple) often means game over.
Neutral ground? If kids or shared assets complicated things, co-parenting therapy might warrant a chat. But with no little ones and just an ancient pup in the mix, full no-contact could be the kindest cut. Block, store belongings creatively, and lean on far-flung family via video calls. Ultimately, advice boils down to: date yourself first – gym, hobbies, new circles.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Many insist the ex-wife is exactly who she showed herself to be.
Some urge OP to prioritize himself and block contact.
Some warn against reconciliation based on personal regret.
Some highlight her regret is about consequences, not actions.
This Redditor’s firm “no” feels less like quitting and more like graduating from a toxic cycle. Cheers to that fresh start!
Do you think his ex’s regrets are the real deal, or just buyer’s remorse for single life?
Would you ever reopen the door after multiple betrayals, especially during grief?
How do you spot true change versus convenience? Share your hot takes with us!
