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Employee Outsmarts Call Center KPIs System, Makes Double Income Then Quits When The Loophole Is Recognized

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

An ex-aged-care hustler turned telecom drone volunteers for the grueling elderly queue, spinning grandma yarns into four-hour marathons: raking double time, scam-proof bonds, and skyrocketing sales under strict rules his bosses can’t touch.

Reddit erupts in cheers for this Aussie payback plot, where nostalgia jabs yield fat bonuses and a mic-drop quit. Fury simmers upstairs, but satisfaction scores sing. Commenters toast rule-twisting triumphs over corporate chains.

Employee gamed call center KPIs with marathon elderly chats, doubled pay, and quit triumphantly.

Employee Outsmarts Call Center KPIs System, Makes Double Income Then Quits When The Loophole Is Recognized
Not the actual photo.

'Long calls = better bonus? Hold my beer'

A brief story from my time in a telecoms contact center. I worked for a rather large Australian provider that everyone knows and actively hates,

mostly because its fun to hate them. In this story we were doing outbound calls to transition people onto the new NBN network

(for those of you unfamiliar with Australia's internet, it was 3rd world, literally, we were slower than Nigeria

until we rolled out the NBN and upgraded to slightly faster 3rd world speeds...)

Also worth mentioning, much like the company I worked for, the NBN was universally hated. Cause it was s__t. Nuff said.

Anyway like all call centers we had a bunch of miserable hoops to jump through

in order to bring our paycheck up to a level that could be considered humane.

Our capitalist overlords refer to these hoops as KPI's. (Key Performance Indicators for the blissfully ignorant)

Anyway with the new campaign came a new set of KPI's. Conversion rate, active call time, after call time and customer satisfaction were the KPI's of the day.

Now these KPI's were normally all f__king b__ls__t. You needed to meet some f__king god tier numbers in order to collect a half decent paycheck.

However in this particular case there was loophole. See due to the controversial nature of the NBN we were told to focus on quality over quantity.

They wanted "An excellent customer experience" and the new KPI's were a reflection of that.

As such quantity of conversions was not a KPI and when I questioned if we had time limits on calls I was told:

"We don't care what you do but long calls means a good experience so keep them on the line and get them switched over"

And so began the best work month I had at that soul trap. See before entering coms I was a salesman in aged care, and a pretty good one at...

And you know that stereo type of old people talking for eternity and beyond? Its a stereotype for a reason.

Each morning I would log in, volunteer for the aged clientele campaign (which was easy because they were normally the hardest people to convert,

fearful of scams, technology and such, so not many people wanted to do it) And then I would start to chat.

See when speaking with the elderly all it takes is a well placed poke or 2 and you can literally have them speak for hours.

So for the next month, I took 2 - 4 calls a day (down from 20-30), had almost zero after call time (the calls were so long I didn't need...

had an 80% conversion rate and 90% customer satisfaction (turns out people tend to like you after you take the time to listen to them).

Each phone call (assuming I wasn't told to f__k off upon introducing myself) would last 2 to 3 hours minimum,

with my record being a 7 hour call to a lovely bloke named Stan. (he told some great war stories)

I ended up doubling my normal paycheck. And my managers, while not being entirely happy with my nonsense,

put up with it because at the end of the day... those were the rules and KPI's we were given.

I got my paycheck, the oldies got a good chat and my employer got to pay through the nose. Happy endings for all.

I proceeded to hand in my resignation once KPI's went back to normal. Which I, to this day, regard as one of the best decisions I ever made.

Edit: Obligatory edit to thank y'all for the awards. Much Love <3

Edit: Obligatory edit number 2, so y'all have showered me in more awards than I have received in my entire time on Reddit.

Which honestly isn't saying much given I haven't been here too long, but hey, its the thought that counts. Big preesh all y'all.

TLDR: Call center removes limits on calls in order to raise customer satisfaction.

I spend a month stretching my calls to be 4 hours long and make off like a bandit in the process.

Fulfilling the metrics in a call center is like juggling flaming chainsaws while reciting poetry, which is doable, but why bother when the system begs to be gamed?

This Redditor spotted the loophole goldmine: no call caps, emphasis on “quality” chats, and bonuses tied to long talks plus happy customers. Smart move volunteering for the elderly segment; as any ex-sales pro knows, a gentle “Tell me about the war” opener unlocks hours of gold.

Flip the coin, though, managers probably pictured efficient switches, not marathon therapy sessions. Their frustration? Totally valid in a quantity-obsessed world, but the KPI gods spoke: longer calls equaled better experiences.

Our hero nailed 80% conversions and 90% satisfaction by simply listening, proving stereotypes about chatty seniors are spot-on (and profitable). It’s satirical corporate poetry: exploit the rules, enrich yourself, delight the clients.

Zoom out, and this mirrors broader call center chaos. A 2023 Gallup report found 70% of contact center agents experience burnout from unrealistic targets, with high turnover costing firms billions annually.

Telecoms like Australia’s big players amp the pain, think NBN rollout woes fueling public rage. Gaming KPIs is survival in a gig where “customer first” clashes with “numbers now.”

Communication expert Carmine Gallo, author of Talk Like TED, highlights the power of truly hearing beyond words in service roles. In a Forbes article, he notes: “Listening is overrated when it comes to creating an exceptional customer experience. Your customers will only tell you what they think they need, but how you meet their unexpressed needs makes all the difference.”

Here, the Redditor’s marathon chats with seniors went deeper than surface-level pitches, uncovering stories that built trust and sealed conversions – echoing Gallo’s call to anticipate hidden desires. Relevance? In high-stakes sales or everyday bonds, tuning into the unspoken turns transactions into triumphs, proving empathy pays dividends.

Neutral fix? Companies, ditch vague KPIs, cap calls reasonably but reward true resolutions. Agents, game ethically or unionize for sanity.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Some cheer making elderly customers happy.

LipstickRevenge − Haha, brilliant. You got to make some elderly people happy, too!

sea-stars-and-wind − That is awesome.

gelateneo − That’s kinda wholesome haha! Everyone wins!!!

I hope you’re now working the job you want and earning what you rightfully deserve while making others happy!

Some criticizes Australian telecoms.

[Reddit User] − F__king Telstra. Or Optus. I worked in training for a long time

and those two companies were ones used as examples of how not to do customer service. Good on you.

Kingy_79 − I'm guessing you worked for T. We are fibre to the node, and copper to the house. We still only get DSL speeds.

Thrilllls − In 14+ years of being with Telstra the only positive experience I had was a very helpful lady in complaints after I complained to the TIO.

[Reddit User] − Aussies do love a good old fashioned Telstra hate wagon.

Kitty-Kat78 − Ah Telstra. I will sing my utter contempt of them till the end of my days.

Some share call-center KPI gaming stories.

Kathwane − You, I like you. I also have worked in a call center for a power tool manufacturer,

and never hit my # of calls KPI because I would actually try to find the answer to the question

instead of immediately passing the call to Tech Support. After 4 years, I was the go-to after Tech went home because I actually learned the products.

tenakakahn − I worked for a Tier 2 ISP in the same country, owned by a Tier 1 ISP.

Due to a quirk in reporting I clued in that call length timers started when the call dropped in to my extension

and stopped when the customer hung up, however... if I didn't also hang up, new calls wouldn't drop into me.

You could put yourself in wrap up mode if you needed more time. There were KPIs on call length time and call wrap up time.

Call wrap up time was time spent doing the leg/fingerwork after a call and the KPI was 2 minutes, stretch was 90 seconds.

To my knowledge, no one hit the 90 second stretch goal and as such was responsible for a huge bonus...

Well now. I had unlimited wrap up time now and made sure to k__l the wrap up time at about 70-90 seconds.

Team leader could never figure it out. Was worth another $250pcm (Circa 2000) to me.

There were other games we played as well. KPIs often get gamed. Like selling mobile contracts, getting the signup bonus,

and then allowing the customer to cancel without penalty two days later in the cooling off period.

[Reddit User] − I used to work for their inbound call center as support for the dialup campaign (might be showing my age here).

Congratulations on f__king with the system. After almost 3 years at that hellhole with it's ridiculous KPIs and monitoring systems,

it's nice to see someone take advantage of it.

A user recounts long, entertaining customer interactions.

Quethos − I had a similar experience when canvassing (a s__t job I did while studying to pay bills)

for a NOW well known 'new' player in Australian groceries. I somehow lucked out?

And managed to get an older bloke in a retirement home. We had an active floor manager who basically said we couldn't end the conversation,

we had to let the survey run its course or wait for the client to end it.

Needless to say, I spent 90% of my shift (this was the 5th or so call) on the phone this one old bloke named Bill, who told me some fantastic...

When I finally got around to finishing the survey and asked him if he'd support this brand coming into the marketplace.

I still vividly remember his tone and voice answering: "No f__king way am I going to support any German *&^%s, they killed my mate in the war"

and promptly hung up! Needless to say, after that they let us terminate calls if we thought they were not being productive.

In the end, our Redditor turned a dreaded NBN pitch into elder-chat therapy, pocketing bonuses while gifting lonely folks connection and peaceing out before the rules snapped back.

Do you think stretching those calls to seven hours was genius compliance or a cheeky overplay that risked the gig? How would you balance KPI loopholes with real customer care in a high-pressure job?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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