Cultural misunderstandings can often cause tension, but what happens when it leads to a public confrontation? During a trip to Tijuana, Kevin, who is autistic, became upset with the taco he ordered when it wasn’t made to his liking.
His complaints turned into rude outbursts towards the restaurant staff, who struggled to communicate with the group due to the language barrier.
When the situation got out of hand, the OP, feeling uncomfortable and worried about their safety, snapped at Kevin, telling him this was “not Taco Bell”.
The group is now split, with some people calling the OP harsh and others agreeing that he was justified.
This story sits at the intersection of cultural context, social expectations, and how autism can shape behavior in unfamiliar situations.
Your frustration is understandable, witnessing a friend’s behavior toward service staff in a foreign country can feel unsafe or disrespectful.
But the way the situation unfolded reveals deeper layers that are important to understand before judging who was right or wrong.
For many autistic individuals, travel and sensory environments can be deeply challenging. New places, unfamiliar smells, different food, and busy restaurants can lead to overload, anxiety, and reactive behaviors.
Research on travel with autism notes that the unfamiliar and unpredictable nature of trips can heighten sensory sensitivities and lead to distressing experiences without proper planning or support.
Imagine the compounded stress of crossing a border, navigating crowded spaces, and then sitting in a busy restaurant that doesn’t match one’s expectations, for someone on the spectrum, this isn’t “bad behavior” alone, it can be a sensory and emotional overload.
Autism affects not only how sensory information is processed but also how communication and social cues are interpreted.
Many autistic adults and teens have difficulties with back‑and‑forth conversation, interpreting tones, and understanding implicit social norms, especially under stress.
Without fluency in Spanish and in an environment where expectations of politeness differ, Kevin’s frustration may have stemmed from not just dislike of the food but also a communication and sensory struggle, rather than simple rudeness.
Behavior that looks inappropriate or rude can sometimes be a form of challenging behavior reflecting communication difficulty or overwhelm rather than intentional disrespect.
People with autism sometimes express frustration more intensely when they can’t convey their needs or when expectations suddenly change. These behaviors are a sign of distress, not necessarily malice.
Even so, that doesn’t mean the restaurant situation was handled perfectly by Kevin or your group. Given the language barrier and cultural context of being in Mexico, there was strong potential for misunderstanding on both sides.
But your choice of language and approach, especially comments made in front of Kevin and the group about his diagnosis and travel ability, likely compounded the emotional tension.
Autistic individuals often experience social interactions differently, and direct confrontations, especially those that feel punitive, can be especially distressing.
Respectful communication principles suggest clear, literal language and avoiding assumptions about understanding or intent.
Kevin’s reaction, struggling with expectations, food differences, and service norms, doesn’t excuse rudeness toward staff, but it does contextualize his behavior within how autism can amplify stress in unfamiliar social contexts.
Being in a new country, with language barriers and a disrupted routine, can trigger emotional responses that might not surface in a familiar setting.
Research on family travel with autistic individuals highlights that travel itself brings unique challenges, requiring additional support and planning to make the experience comfortable.
Instead of framing the conflict purely as “rude versus right,” it could help to approach it as a learning moment about expectations, communication, and support needs.
A constructive step would be to have a calm conversation with Kevin and the groom, outside the heat of the moment, about what triggered his reaction, and explore strategies for future situations that respect both his needs and those of others.
Discuss communication strategies before travel and potential sensory triggers, especially when cultural and linguistic differences are present.
Encouraging Kevin to develop skills for explaining his needs clearly or agreeing on coping strategies ahead of time can help prevent similar escalations.
At the same time, learning how to calmly de‑escalate when someone feels overwhelmed, using clear, literal language and avoiding language that dismisses their experience, can help keep everyone safe and connected.
Ultimately, your concern for respectful behavior and safety is valid, but a more empathetic, informed response can avoid making Kevin feel attacked or excluded.
Understanding autism as a different way of processing the world, not a “choice to be difficult,” can help bridge these moments and keep group dynamics intact during intense experiences like international travel.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
These commenters are adamant that Kevin’s behavior was unacceptable, regardless of his autism.
These users focused on the potential dangers of the group’s behavior in a foreign country.
These Redditors reinforced that no one, autistic or not, should be allowed to treat others poorly.
These commenters suggested that Kevin could have been better prepared for the cultural differences in Mexico, including the food.
While it’s clear that Kevin’s behavior in this situation was out of line and unsettling for the group, the way it was addressed likely made things worse. Should the OP have handled the situation with more patience, given Kevin’s autism?
Or was the frustration from dealing with disrespectful behavior in a foreign country justified? In a tense moment like this, how can we balance standing up for the people around us while being sensitive to individual challenges? Share your thoughts below!
