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Mistress Takes Matters Into Her Own Hands, Telling The Wife The Full Story After Being Lied To

by Katy Nguyen
January 3, 2026
in Social Issues

Betrayal can come in many forms, and for this woman, it came from the man she was dating, who had been secretly seeing his wife throughout their entire relationship.

After discovering she was pregnant, she made the decision to get an abortion, but the situation only worsened when he begged her not to tell his wife the truth.

He offered her money to stay silent, but she felt that the wife deserved to know the reality of the situation.

Mistress Takes Matters Into Her Own Hands, Telling The Wife The Full Story After Being Lied To
Not the actual photo

'AITH for telling his wife he got me pregnant even tho I had an a__rtion?'

I (30F) met a man (31M) on a dating app. He told me he was separated from his wife,

who was already in a new relationship, and he was looking to date as well.

We were hooking up and got very close very quick then about 5 months in I got pregnant

(I was in BC idk what happened) I decided it was too early for a child in the relationship and got an a__rtion.

That was a month ago, and things were going great between us till last night, when he told me he was

getting back with her, and he was actually hooking up with her the entire time.

(Yes, I know I was stupid to even believe him in the first place, but there were no signs at all).

He told her we were dating, and now her friends somehow got my info and are telling me I was lied to the whole time.

AITH for wanting to tell his wife he got me pregnant?

He’s begging me not to and offering to pay my 1k to keep my mouth shut, but I feel like she should know. What should I do?

Update: I felt bad for the guy and told him, "Fine, I don’t want the money, but I do want you to tell her the truth," and he said he...

Then the wife contacted me wanting to hear my side and I told her everything with proof because like an i__ot I thought he told her the truth.

Turns out he told he we were just texting and never even met in person.

She was kind and said she didn’t blame me at all for what happened because we were both fooled by him.

I apologized many times to her and that was it.

I hate that any people here think I just wanted to tell her for revenge but that’s not what I wanted at all

I just wanted her to know the whole story because if I were in her position I’d want to know as well.

When a romantic relationship involves deception about commitment, the emotional fallout can be profound and complex.

In this case, the Original Poster (OP) was misled by a man who presented himself as separated and available for a relationship, only to later discover he was actively involved with his wife the entire time.

Discoveries like this touch on several well‑studied psychological and relational themes: infidelity and betrayal, the impact of deception on trust, and the ethics of disclosure.

Infidelity and betrayal are broadly understood to be deeply damaging to relationships and individual wellbeing.

Research shows that the emotional effects of infidelity can resemble trauma responses, including symptoms similar to post‑traumatic stress due to the breach of trust and shock experienced by the betrayed partner.

Partners who discover a betrayal often experience intense anger, insecurity, shame, and emotional dysregulation.

Deception in relationships isn’t limited to explicit lies; it also includes withholding crucial information that affects another person’s ability to make informed decisions.

Relationship scholars highlight that hiding key facts about a partner’s external relationships undermines trust and intimacy, because relationship satisfaction depends on honesty and transparency.

From a psychological standpoint, secrecy, whether about infidelity or the nature of the relationship, violates relational expectations and can create a cascade of mistrust.

The term infidelity itself is often defined as the act of keeping such secrets that betray mutually understood commitments, and the cognitive dissonance experienced by the unfaithful partner (trying to appear faithful while behaving otherwise) can compound distress for everyone involved.

Moreover, recent relationship research suggests that disclosure of infidelity, when done truthfully and sensitively, may actually be preferable to maintaining secrecy.

Professionals generally argue that relationships built on deception rarely thrive, and that discovery through indirect channels (such as third parties) tends to be more devastating than direct disclosure.

Forward‑thinking relationship advice emphasizes that the betrayed partner deserves informed consent about their relationship’s status so they can make autonomous decisions.

Infidelity not only affects emotional states but can also have lasting psychological and even physical health consequences.

Some studies link betrayal from infidelity to chronic stress responses and long‑term health declines, indicating that the impact extends beyond the immediate relational rupture.

In the context of the OP’s situation, where the man offered money to keep the truth concealed, the act of offering compensation underscores how deeply the deception was intended to be kept hidden rather than resolved honestly.

Once the OP chose to disclose, she proceeded with transparency and provided corroborated details rather than revenge‑driven distortion.

The wife’s response, kindness and understanding, reflects how even betrayed partners can distinguish between malicious intent and someone simply caught in another’s deception.

When infidelity or deception emerges, the most constructive approach is guided by truth, respect, and clear communication.

If someone chooses to share information about a partner’s infidelity, doing so with empathy, focusing on the facts and the impact on the betrayed partner’s ability to make choices, tends to minimize further harm while respecting the autonomy of everyone involved.

Professional counseling can also help both the deceived and the deceiver unpack why the deception occurred, address underlying relational or personal issues, and support emotional recovery.

What matters most in such disclosures is not merely that the truth is shared, but how it is shared, with clarity, compassion, and a focus on empowering the wronged partner, allowing them to make decisions based on full information.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters support the idea of taking the money and using it to cover any emotional or financial costs incurred from the situation.

WillingnessProof8453 − NTA. You don’t have to be spiteful about how you go about it.

But I don’t think it’s wrong to tell his wife what happened if he led you to believe he’s single.

Personally, if it was my husband I’d be glad someone told me what he was doing.

ExistingPart8607 − Get the money and tell her after. He didn’t give a s__t about your feelings so you shouldn’t care about his either.

1k is a pathetic amount to offer for what he did to you and her. NTA.

rjhancock − If you have the wife's contact info, save it some place, take the money, then tell the wife.

If he's offering up hush money, he knows he screwed up. Might as well profit while at it to recoup some/all of the costs incurred. NTA.

These Redditors caution the OP about potential dangers.

CuriouserCat2 − Take care. People have been murdered for less.

CinnamonBlue − 1K to not say anything? Now we’re haggling. LOL.

Cinnamon_berry − Everyone is saying to take the money and then tell the wife but does he know where you live? Does he have a temper?

Does she have a temper? People can get crazy with stuff like this. I would just be cautious if you decide to tell her.

with-extra-pickles − Take the $. Ask for more. Tell her friends about pregnancy. Tell her friends about the hush $ too.

Bring receipts. Block everyone and walk away like an action hero at the end of the movie when the world is burning behind them.

These users believe that the OP should let go of the situation, as it sounds like both the ex and his wife were aware of the affair.

Mission_Pomelo_6121 − She already knew you were hooking up. I would take the 1K.

Telling her is just an attempt at some petty revenge and isn’t going to change the fact he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

TaylorMade2566 − Is it the sleeping with you or the pregnant thing you think she'll be opposed to?

If they were separated and she was seeing someone else, I don't understand what the issue is.

You decided to abort your child so that's not even a sticking point.

If you had decided to keep it, that would matter more to her because then the husband she decided to get back with had a kid to deal with for...

I also have a problem with the "he got me pregnant" as if you had nothing to do with that situation.

Just move on and let his life implode, they both already sounds horrible if they were in new relationships but still hooking up.

If you don't move on, that would make you the a-hole.

Funny_Original_6005 − YTA. Separated is still married… you knew what you were walking into.

“I feel like she should know.” She already knows that you two were together, what’s parading your a__rtion going to prove/do.

Seems like you don’t really care about her, you just want to hurt him.

“He was hooking up with her the entire time” lol no he was married, which you knew and hooking up with you.

You make it sound like the wife’s the other woman and you’re the victim.

Again you knew the dude was married and were still having unprotected s__ with him… you knew what you were walking into.

These Redditors criticize the OP for seeking revenge and suggest that this situation was a mistake from the start.

[Reddit User] − YTAH, but probably not for the reason you think. YTA because you want to tell the wife not for her sake but purely to hurt your ex.

lychigo − You should tell his wife because he cheated on her. And technically he did get you pregnant, you just did something about it.

dax__cd − YTA. And you know it. You were hooking up with a "separated" not divorced man.

And now he is dumping you, so you want revenge and want to hurt him back.

You were smart enough to know this relationship was not strong enough to have the baby.

You knew it wasn't right. Learn from the experience and move on.

thanos_was_right_69 − Hurt people hurt people.

jamiekynnminer − Messy. I'd walk away and just never look back. Take the 1k.

This situation is full of emotional turmoil and betrayal on both sides.

The question is, was it right for the OP to expose the situation, or did the consequences of doing so cause more harm than good?

How would you handle a similar betrayal, both as a partner and as the person caught in the middle? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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