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Dad Abandoned Two Families, Now His Ex Begs For Help With Children From His Son

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A 17-year-old high schooler, juggling teenage life, got blindsided when his deadbeat dad’s ex begged them to play big brother to her kids. His father, a master of vanishing acts, left behind scattered kids and unpaid child support, dumping chaos at the Redditor’s door.

Firmly slamming it shut, they sparked a Reddit firestorm, with emotions flaring over family ties versus hard boundaries. This story splits opinions on dodging half-sibling duties or standing tall against a deadbeat’s fallout.

Dad abandoned one family, moved on to the next and did the same. Now the latter need help from his teenage son.

Dad Abandoned Two Families, Now His Ex Begs For Help With Children From His Son
Not the actual photo.

'My deadbeat dad abandoned two more kids and his ex wants me to help but I said no AITAH?'

My "dad" aka Deadbeat was never very present in my life. He left my mom when she got pregnant with me

and tried to sleep with her occasionally even though she always turned him down.

It was the only reason I have any memories of him from the time she was alive.

He never cared about me which is why mom always told him where to go.

He built up tens of thousands in child support too because he refused to pay most of the time and found ways to stop it being taken directly from him.

My mom died when I was 6 and my maternal grandparents took me in. I didn't see Deadbeat for several years.

Then when I was 10/11 he showed up for a minute and asked for a DNA test again.

One had to be done when I was a baby to get him on my birth certificate.

My grandparents said as long as he paid for the DNA test he could have one. He left because he wanted them to pay.

He showed back up a couple of years ago with a wife and a young kid and his wife was pregnant.

Deadbeat didn't care much that they lived nearby but his wife was like oh we're family now and you should know your (half) siblings.

I was like nah thanks and she tried to get my grandparents on side but they were like nah thanks.

Deadbeat took off on her and those kids 6 months ago. She stayed in place and tried to reach out to me for help and for me to form a...

I told her I wasn't helping her. I wasn't interested in a relationship with her kids.

My grandparents suggested she move close to her family if she wanted her kids to have more than her.

But she didn't and she keeps reaching out and asking me to play some sort of role in her kids' lives.

She also keeps asking me for help. She said even 6 hours of babysitting a week would make a huge difference to her and she could better provide for her...

When I didn't say yes after she asked again and again she asked me if I was really so indifferent

that I wouldn't like to know my own siblings who share my DNA and were dropped just like me.

I asked her why she was so sure they were the only ones. I told her he could have a million kids out there and I just don't care.

I said the only DNA that counts for me is my mom's DNA. She asked me how I'd feel if she lost their home and struggled to feed them

and I said it would be sad because kids don't deserve to be hungry but it would be no more or less sad than it happening to any kid.

She said at 17 I'm almost a man and I'm not turning into a very good one.

That's the point where I blocked her and I speed walk into the house or away if she approaches me in person.

My grandparents told her not to show up again or the cops would be called. So far that seems to have worked.

I don't feel bad about it but I guess it did make me question if maybe some part of me is TA for refusing to help or be in those...

To me it seems crazy to go off Deadbeat's DNA but I know that matters to a lot of people. AITAH?

This Redditor’s story is a whirlwind: a teen raised by grandparents after losing his mom, now dodging pleas from his dad’s ex to bond with half-siblings he didn’t ask for.

The ex wants help with babysitting, emotional support, you name it, but the Redditor’s not signing up for Deadbeat’s mess.

After all, the Redditor’s got zero connection to these kids beyond shared DNA, and he’s crystal clear: family is who raised you, not who shares your genes. His mom’s memory and his grandparents’ love are his anchor, not some fleeting tie to a dad who’s allergic to responsibility.

The ex, though, is in a tough spot: solo parenting after Deadbeat bolted. Her persistence feels desperate, but her guilt-tripping, like telling a 17-year-old he’s “not a good man,” crosses lines.

It’s a classic case of misplaced expectations, where she’s projecting her needs onto someone who’s still a kid themselves.

This drama taps into a bigger issue: family obligation in fractured households. Around 15% of U.S. children live in blended families, per the U.S. Census Bureau, and navigating half-sibling relationships can be a minefield, especially when parents fail to step up.

The Redditor’s choice to prioritize his own peace isn’t cold, it’s self-preservation. As psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman notes in his book Rules of Estrangement, “Family ties don’t obligate you to sacrifice your mental health for others’ poor choices.”

Here, the ex chose Deadbeat despite his track record, and now she’s leaning on a teen to fill the gap. That’s not fair play.

Still, her kids are innocent, caught in the crossfire of adult decisions. Could the Redditor offer a little support, like occasional babysitting, without diving into the deep end? Maybe, but at 17, he’s juggling his own growth: school, friends, maybe even college plans. Forcing a bond could breed resentment, not connection.

A balanced approach might be empathy from afar, wishing the kids well but keeping boundaries firm. Reddit’s take is loud and clear, but what do you think? Should family ties trump personal limits, or is the Redditor right to say “not my circus”?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some believe the individual is not responsible for their father’s partner’s children and is being manipulated.

Silver-Truck-1920 − She just wants a free babysitter. NTA.

Psychological-Cap228 − Nta: not your monkeys, not your circus.

Anxious-Routine-5526 − NTA. She's trying to get you to step up as a surrogate for your father. You don't owe her or her kids anything.

She was well aware of what kind of man your dad is, yet she chose to get involved and have kids with him anyway.

Don't get roped into paying for your father or her mistakes.

Otherwise-Text-5772 − Nta man. None of this is your responsibility and she's trying to guilt you into it becoming yours. Don't fall for it.

Others view the partner’s guilt-tripping as inappropriate and her choices as her own responsibility.

JustAMalcontent − NTA. "She said at 17 I'm almost a man and I'm not turning into a very good one."

She had two kids with a man she knew was a deadbeat, her opinion of what makes a good man isn't worth much.

No-Table2410 − NTA. She’s just being manipulative with guilt trips and claiming you’re not turning into a good man.

If she wanted a good man she should have chosen one for the father of her kids,

instead of trying to emotionally blackmail someone else into letting her use them.

Some acknowledge her desperation but emphasize the individual’s right to refuse involvement.

barleygood − NTA Its your choice if you want to help and or be present and if she’s not willing to accept that you don’t want to its her issue.

I understand that she needs help but it seems weird and maybe desperate to reach out to you

and as a young person you have enough to deal with anyway.

ThisWeekInTheRegency − 'She said at 17 I'm almost a man and I'm not turning into a very good one.'

I understand that she's fighting for her kids' welfare but that's a s__tty thing to say to anyone. You're doing just fine. Ignore her. NTA

One person suggests the partner should seek support from her own family or the father.

McBussy696969 − NTA- she just needs help and wants to use you. The person she should be hounding on is your father.

If she really wants support she can move by her family like your grandparents said.

One user frames the partner’s expectations as an unfair burden tied to the father’s failures.

mother-of-dragons13 − Just because she got knocked up by p. o. s doesn't mean that as the son of p. o. s its your job to help raise his kids.

At 17, the Redditor is Deadbeat’s shadow and his ex’s pleas, choosing his peace over forced family ties. It’s a bold move, but is it fair to shut out those half-siblings entirely, or should they toss a lifeline, even a small one?

How would you balance empathy with boundaries in this mess? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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