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Teacher Asked If She Was The ‘Best Teacher Ever’, Her Former Student Told Her The Brutal Truth

by Layla Bui
October 26, 2025
in Social Issues

What would you do if someone from your past, someone who failed you when you needed help most, approached you years later as if nothing had happened?

That’s what one Reddit user faced when her former fourth-grade teacher spotted her at a store and cheerfully asked if she’d been her “favorite teacher.”

For this now-17-year-old, the question cut deep. Her teacher hadn’t just failed to notice signs of distress, she had actively punished her for them. So when asked, the teen answered honestly, and what followed sparked a powerful discussion about accountability, trauma, and honesty.

The teen explained that 4th grade was the year her life began to spiral

Teacher Asked If She Was The ‘Best Teacher Ever’, Her Former Student Told Her The Brutal Truth
not the actual photo

'AITA for being honest to my 4th grade teacher when she saw me at the store?'

I’m 17f and 4th grade was one of the worst years of my life.

My father was always abusive and neglectful but this particular year was the worst.

Due to a very terrible home life my school performance dropped,

this was the year I began self harming and I often did it in front of others.

This should have been a very concerning sight and an indication that things weren’t ok outside of school.

My teacher at the time would take me to the hallway and scold me until I cried whenever I did this

and ignored basically every indication of abuse and n__lect that teachers are usually trained to identify.

She’s a big reason why I don’t trust the adults I should be able to confide in.

Well today I saw her at the store and she tried to strike up a conversation

and jokingly asked if any of my teachers were as amazing and wonderful as her

and if she was my favorite teacher I’ve had and I told her basically everything I wrote in the first part of the post.

I told her that her methods of handling these incidents still negatively impact me mentally

and that if she had asked me even once if I was ok or if anything was going on at home,

then it’s possible I could have felt safe enough to tell someone about my dad years

before I ended up speaking up about it.

She wasn’t particularly happy that I said any of this but she did ask and so I answered.

Encounters with former teachers can bring back complex emotions, especially for students who experienced neglect or trauma that went unnoticed.

In this case, the student shared her truth after being directly asked whether her teacher was her “favorite.”

Her honesty might have been uncomfortable for the teacher to hear, but from a psychological standpoint, it was a legitimate and even healthy response to unresolved pain.

Educators hold a unique position of trust. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, teachers are among the most common mandated reporters of child abuse and neglect.

They are required by law to report suspected cases when a child shows physical or emotional warning signs. (childwelfare.gov)

Recognizing changes in a student’s behavior, such as sudden academic decline, visible self-harm, or withdrawal, is part of a teacher’s duty of care. Failure to act not only delays intervention; it can contribute to long-term distrust toward authority and helping professionals.

Psychologists who study trauma note that revisiting painful experiences through confrontation can be a step toward healing.

Dr. Cortney Warren, a clinical psychologist, explains that “speaking the truth about how someone’s behavior hurt you can be an act of self-respect and closure, even if the other person isn’t ready to accept it.”

By sharing how the teacher’s inaction affected her, the student took an emotionally assertive step, one that reclaims personal power in a situation where she once felt powerless.

The teacher’s discomfort, while human, does not erase her professional responsibility or the student’s right to voice her pain. Ideally, she will reflect on this feedback and improve her awareness of emotional and behavioral warning signs in her current students.

For the young woman, continuing therapy or trauma-informed counseling could help her process any lingering anger or grief from those years.

Honesty in this situation was not disrespect; it was an act of accountability. While it may have been awkward, confronting the person who failed her as a child may help the OP continue healing and could also prevent future students from being overlooked.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These Redditors praised OP for telling her truth, saying honesty was overdue and empowering

Effective_While_8487 − NTA, she asked, you answered. I hope you took some measure of satisfaction there,

you waited a long time for it. Her behavior then was reprehensible and illegal too.

She's a mandated reporter and had an obligation to get you help.

Efficient-Cupcake247 − Nta- she bothered you in a public place, looking for forced positive feedback.

AWESOME JOB TELLING YOUR TRUTH! !! Maybe she will reflect on that and make some changes

Federal-Cicada-8419 − NTA. You poor darling! Adults who were supposed to be safe people for you weren't.

You deserved better. You had every right to tell her the truth.

I hope you're getting some form of therapy for your trauma. You deserve healing and peace.

She failed you, and you just told it like it is.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You were right to speak up. It's tough to confront someone from your past,

especially a teacher who didn't see the signs when you were struggling.

It sounds like you've been carrying this weight for a long time,

and telling her the truth was probably a bit of a relief, even if it was super tough to do.

Your teacher probably wasn't expecting that kind of honesty, but hey, she asked, right?

It's a big deal that you could tell her how her actions (or lack of them) affected you.

That's not easy at all.

And who knows, maybe your words will make her think a bit more about how she handles things with other kids.

The main thing is, you've spoken your truth, and that's a brave thing to do.

This group condemned the teacher for ignoring abuse signs and neglecting her legal duty

CrabbyOlLyberrian − NTA. As a retired elem teacher, I am so sorry your emotional health was left unprotected.

It's people like her that give the rest of us a bad name. Your teacher effd up.

She should have brought you forward to the counselor, made a plan, and stayed the course to make sure you were safe.

Since that didn't happen, you were given a golden opportunity, a once-in-a-lifetime chance to set the record straight

(btw who asks a former student if they were their "favorite, fabulous" teacher, or whatever dafuq she said... ewww).

Damn girl, what a gift! ! I am very proud of you speaking your truth. Good for you. Keep your head up. You got this!

Last_nerve_3802 − NTA - this is exactly the type of feedback she needs,

IF she wants to be an educator and isn't in it for the fantasy egotrip of how she's SO awesome,

I'm always amazed at how bullies gravitate to nursing and education, and then act as if they are saints

Ok_Cable_3888 − Sorry that happened to you. NTA.

People sometimes have to find out about how they treated others, knowingly or unknowingly.

She's a teacher who, I assume, hopefully, at some point was probably instructed how to look for signs of abuse.

The scolding part? F__k her only slightly less than anyone else who hurts kids.

These commenters hoped the teacher would learn from the encounter and protect others better

Geezell − Well done. Very well done. NTA.

Goodness, if she is still teaching, maybe you saved a kid if she actually reevaluates her observational skills of students.

Let’s hope your truth opened her eyes to be more observant.

UnpopularConclusion − NTA - you gave her solicited feedback!

You were honest, and she was not prepared for it.

Hopefully she takes that as a moment to learn and grow from. Hope you’re getting the help you need, as well.

This user offered emotional encouragement, reminding OP she deserves healing and care

DrCatPhd − Hey OP, I don’t know how things are for you now,

but I want you to know that I and lots of other redditors are proud of you.

You’ve come so far and been so strong, and you shouldn’t have had to but here you are doing your best.

I really hope that one day you are able to reach out to a safe adult

who can give you the support and comfort that you deserve, and I hope it is sooner rather than later.

It is hard to trust people, and your old teacher should feel ashamed of herself for failing you.

If you need support right now, Child Helpline International has a global list of

support lines/anonymous emergency counseling chats you can contact.

They may be able to help you get local support too. You are worth love and support, OP; no matter what.

Sometimes telling the truth isn’t about revenge, it’s about reclaiming peace. This teen’s words may have made her old teacher uncomfortable, but discomfort is often where growth begins.

She didn’t owe her teacher kindness; she owed herself honesty. And in choosing truth over silence, she did something that her younger self couldn’t, she spoke up, and she made sure she was finally heard.

Would you have told the truth if you were in her shoes or stayed silent to avoid confrontation?

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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