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Unemployed Mom Cheats, Dad Has To Supply Her, Daughter Disowns Her For Good

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Teenage discovery of mom’s video affair with a foreigner shatters family trust. Dad’s devotion crumbles into divorce; daughter endures awkward meetings and a skipped birthday for mom’s trip. Years later, no apology fuels ongoing resentment.

Betrayal’s ripple effects strain bonds without remorse. Online, readers weigh: mandatory forgiveness or justified distance?

Daughter resents mother forever after she caught her cheating.

Unemployed Mom Cheats, Dad Has To Supply Her, Daughter Disowns Her For Good
Not the actual photo.

'I caught my mom cheating on my dad and I don’t forgive her?'

Hi when I (f26) was in high school I caught my mother talking to a different man through video calls.

Turned out that she was cheating on my dad with this man who was from England.

At this time my sibling was in college and I was about 15. I told my dad about this and things blew up.

I was then forced to live back and forth from my moms and my dads and I hated my mom.

We never had a great relationship, but this was the icing on the cake.

This whole time I watched my dad continue to pay for her life because my mom was unemployed.

My dad was clearly depressed and devastated. I could not stand this woman and what she did to my family.

And because my sibling was in college, I was alone to deal with the projections from my parents.

She would go to England all the time and force me to talk to this man over video chat.

She even missed my 18th birthday to go over there. She has never apologized to me for the trauma she caused.

I try to have a relationship with her now that I’m older, but because she has never apologized to me, I still hold it against her. AITA?

In this story, our Redditor, now 26, has carried this weight since she was 15, catching her mom in video calls with a lover from England.

The discovery ignited a family firestorm: divorce vibes, shuttling between homes, and watching Dad foot the bills while battling depression. All while big sib was off at college, leaving her to navigate the emotional minefield solo.

From one angle, Mom’s actions scream selfishness. She jetted to England repeatedly, even skipping her daughter’s 18th birthday, and pushed awkward video intros with the new guy. No apology ever came, turning a shaky mother-daughter bond into a grudge-fest.

It’s easy to see why forgiveness feels impossible. The Redditor’s protecting her heart from someone who prioritized a fling over family stability.

On the flip side, some might argue adults’ relationships are complex. Maybe Mom felt trapped in a loveless marriage or chased excitement after years of routine. But forcing a teen into the mess? That would create a grudge for her to hold forever.

Zooming out, this taps into bigger family dynamics around infidelity. Stats show about 20-25% of married folks admit to cheating at some point, per a 2023 General Social Survey via the Institute for Family Studies.

It ripples through kids, often breeding long-term trust issues or resentment. In this case, the Redditor’s solo burden highlights how parental drama can isolate younger siblings, amplifying trauma.

Enter expert insight: Dr. Cassandra LeClair, Ph.D., a relationship expert and author of Being Whole: Healing from Trauma and Reclaiming My Voice, explains in a 2024 Romper article, “When a parent is unfaithful, it can cause a child to question the stability they felt at home.”

This echoes the Redditor’s profound sense of upheaval, where the secrecy of the affair not only shattered family trust but left her navigating a fractured home life alone, amplifying isolation and doubt that lingers into adulthood.

Neutral ground advice? Low-contact could be a smart middle path: occasional texts or cards without deep dives, as some suggest.

Therapy might unpack the grudge, helping decide if a relationship’s worth the energy.

Or, if peace means distance, that’s valid too. Forgiveness isn’t mandatory.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Some insist OP has every right to hold the grudge and go low or no contact.

ImAnNPCsoWhat − NTA. She did something completely against societal norms and your moral code,

it shattered your family, and it hurt you and your father. You're allowed to hold a grudge.

But your dad should stop paying for her life unless it's court ordered.

This_Statistician_39 − Nta Honestly I think you would be better off just cutting her out

if you can't forgive her which you have no obligation to do so she isn't even asking for it.

bordumb − NTA. Your mom ruined your family, for completely selfish reasons.

She didn’t care about your father - the father to her children. And she didn’t care about the impact a divorce would have on kids.

She honestly sounds like a s__t person and a s__t parent. And you have every right to disown her.

It’s also completely reasonable to expect her to apologize, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

The fact is: people who cheat are often deeply insecure and emotionally underdeveloped.

Like, there is likely some part inside of her - emotionally and psychologically - that is still 10 years old,

and too self-centered to actually face and reckon with the impact of her actions.

So I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes her years, and I mean years, to own up to what she did. I would not expect a genuine apology from a...

Others urge minimal contact without full forgiveness until real accountability.

janus1981 − Of course you’re NTA. The real question is what you want from your relationship from her now, if anything,

and whether you think that’s even possible. How is your dad in the intervening years?

Hope he found some happiness and has come to his senses and stopped giving her money

Educational-Chair-84 − NTA. I wouldnt talk to her. LC all the way. Send her a card for her birthday and an occasional text. Shut it down.

PixieCharmS − You’re not the a**hole, she broke your trust, wrecked your safe space, and never owned up to it;

you’re allowed to protect your peace until she does.

Some share personal stories and advise caution or eventual forgiveness.

[Reddit User] − Nta, I had the exact same thing happen to me, but with my father.

Had to get a job, moved to a smaller apartment, and had to deal with seeing my father make my mother’s life impossible,

along with dragging out the divorce. I at 21 don’t have a good relationship with my father,

our interactions are purely transactional, even though he’s tried to keep our relationship, or somewhat at least.

I can sympathize with you, and say you aren’t a bad person, you just don’t want to be hurt again, especially with someone who’s hurt you in the past.

Creepy-Exercise-2826 − OP. I can’t say NTAH or THAH. I have been in a similar situation. I

caution you that you may not have the full story. I caught my mom cheating on my dad when I was 13.

Needless to say our relationship was strained (understatement) for many years.

I was the oldest of 4 children. They did not divorce at the time. 7 years later my dad left and moved from the East cost to San Francisco.

I couldn’t blame him. Right? Not for leaving. Although, I was upset with him for putting 3000 miles between himself and his 4 children.

Kind of felt like he left us all. Anyway, a year later I went to visit him the week I turned 21.

The visit was going great up until he apologized to me for the way he treated my mother.

I was a bit confused and just let him talk. Turned out he was a serial cheater and my mom had put up with it for years.

He apparently thought my mom had told us about his antics -She NEVER told us - even after he left.

I broke down bawling - I had treated my mother so poorly for the past 7 years.

At that point I had so much respect for my mother for not using that against my dad. She was the mature one.

It still took many years to repair the relationship with my mom. That was 38 years ago - In the end I forgave them both.

Human beings make mistakes. Some are pretty big ones that affect others,

but you have to have forgiveness in all of your relationships or I think you will be a very unhappy person.

I am not saying you situation is the same as mine but life is just too short. I suggest that you try to forgive your mom and rebuild that relationship.

In the end, this Redditor’s refusal to forgive without an apology spotlights a timeless tug-of-war: holding accountable versus letting go for your own sanity.

Do you think her grudge is justified after years of no remorse, or should she extend olive branches for potential healing?

How would you balance protecting your peace with family ties in a betrayal this big? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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