In the UK, employees are often blessed with a generous amount of paid time off, offering a crucial chance to recharge. One man decided to use a couple of those days for the ultimate luxury: a staycation dedicated entirely to video games and Netflix.
He expected peace and relaxation.
He got an argument.
His girlfriend was furious, arguing that taking time off just to relax at home was selfish and a total waste of precious annual leave that “could be used for a trip.” The ensuing conflict revealed a deep divide over how individual time should be managed in a relationship.
Now, read the full story:
![I told her I'd be taking the leave and to drop it and she said I was being unfair and not thinking about us. Am I the [jerk] for refusing...](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1761897935347-11.webp "He Wanted a Staycation, But His Girlfriend Wanted to Control His Leave")
The argument over this man’s PTO is less about the video games and more about control and conflicting definitions of rest. For many people, a holiday is synonymous with travel, plans, and shared activity.
However, a planned trip, even a fun one, often involves stress: packing, catching flights, dealing with logistics, and maintaining a schedule.
The kind of rest OP craves—unstructured “mental health days” where he can decompress—is essential for avoiding burnout. His girlfriend sees his downtime as a resource wasted if it doesn’t align with her agenda. This behavior moves from disagreement into control, especially since he still has plenty of leave for joint activities.
OP is seeking a staycation, which many mental health experts view as a vital tool for self-care. The need to fully unplug from work and social obligations is crucial for mental refreshment.
As Dr. Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, notes, self-care is not inherently selfish. True self-care often requires asserting boundaries around personal time.
The most concerning element of the girlfriend’s reaction is the attempt to dictate how OP spends his individual time off. Dr. John Gottman’s research on healthy relationships heavily emphasizes the need for independence and individuality, even within a close partnership.
This girlfriend’s insistence that all leave must be “us time” suggests a relationship dynamic that lacks adequate boundaries.
In fact, according to a recent UK poll, 47% of employees surveyed reported that they preferred using some of their annual leave for “me time” or “staycations” rather than traveling. This suggests OP’s desire is not an oddity, but a common necessity for maintaining mental health in modern working life. OP is not limiting shared time; he is guarding his own necessary space.
Check out how the community responded:
The entire Reddit community rallied behind OP, universally agreeing that he was NTA and highlighting the importance of self-care.
Many commenters focused on the girlfriend’s perceived controlling behavior and lack of respect for OP’s individuality.
A few Redditors pointed out the absurdity of the argument, noting OP still had plenty of shared time remaining and that the girlfriend could also take time for herself.
OP’s desire for a few days of unstructured alone time is perfectly normal and healthy. His girlfriend’s forceful opposition is a significant red flag about control and shared expectations in the relationship. She needs to understand that PTO belongs to the employee, not the partnership.
What kind of rest do you need to fully recharge? Do you prefer a planned trip or a quiet staycation?
