When the Reddit user recalled this story from over three decades ago, it wasn’t out of anger but quiet reflection.
What followed was a childhood memory, raw and vivid, from a time when hitting children wasn’t seen as violence – it was seen as good parenting.
Here’s The Original Post:
The Legacy of the Wooden Spoon
Generations were raised to believe “spare the rod, spoil the child.” But decades of psychological research now tell a different story.
A landmark meta-analysis by Dr. Elizabeth Gershoff (University of Texas, 2002) reviewed over 80 studies and found that children who were physically punished showed higher levels of aggression, antisocial behavior, and anxiety, and were more likely to struggle with mental health as adults.
The review concluded that physical punishment “does not improve behavior in the long term – it only teaches fear.”
Similarly, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has stated since 2018 that spanking or hitting “increases aggression in young children and is ineffective in teaching responsibility and self-control.”
Yet, to many parents and grandparents from earlier generations. It was about control, protection, and moral order in a world that often seemed to lack both.
Experts on Why “Fear-Based Discipline” Fails
Psychologists today emphasize that while physical punishment may stop bad behavior temporarily, it undermines long-term emotional development.
Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, explains:
“When children are hit or threatened, they learn to fear their parent rather than respect them. Fear doesn’t teach self-discipline – it teaches avoidance.”
Studies also show that children raised with empathy and consistent boundaries (without violence) develop stronger moral reasoning, emotional control, and trust.
However, family therapist Dr. Gary Lundberg notes that generational trauma must be approached with compassion:
“Many parents spanked because that’s what they were taught love looked like. Healing means breaking the cycle – not condemning those who came before.”
When Guilt Outlasts the Bruises
In the original post, the Redditor never told their grandmother about the broken spoon trick. “She never apologized to me, so I let her feel guilty for the rest of her life,” they admitted. “I didn’t tell her the truth until thirty years later.”
That small act of rebellion – bending the spoon – became symbolic. It wasn’t just a child’s clever revenge; it was the beginning of self-protection, of realizing that pain doesn’t equal love.
Psychologists say this kind of delayed guilt is common in both generations. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) reports that adults who were physically disciplined as children often develop “ambivalent emotional responses” – both empathy and resentment toward their parents.
The Modern Shift – From Obedience to Understanding
Today, many countries have outlawed corporal punishment altogether. Sweden banned it in 1979, and as of 2024, 65 nations have followed suit. In the U.S., however, physical discipline remains legal in all 50 states — though its cultural acceptance is fading.
A 2022 Pew Research Center survey found that only 31% of American parents still believe spanking is an acceptable form of discipline, down from nearly 60% in the 1990s.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
The Reddit thread became a confessional.
Others shared dark humor as survival.
These stories reflect not cruelty, but a generational disconnect.
A Wooden Spoon’s Final Lesson
By the end of the story, the Redditor’s grandmother had learned something the hard way – not through sermons or studies, but through one broken spoon and a frightened child’s scream. It wasn’t just the spoon that shattered; it was a cycle.
Years later, the storyteller signed off with bittersweet love: “Love ya, Grandma.” Because sometimes forgiveness doesn’t erase the past – it simply stops it from repeating.
