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Woman Quits Job, Drops Harsh Truth On Toxic Coworker She Mentored From Day One

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 27-year-old library worker’s support for a coworker backfires as betrayal and chaos lead to her resignation. Reddit’s AITA debates: was her exit confession justified or harsh?

Defending her friend against rumors, the Redditor faces admin heat when her pal’s neglected duties tank their team. The coworker’s chaos pushes her to quit, with a blunt parting shot. The saga probes loyalty versus workplace fallout, with users divided on whether her final truth bomb was a fair stand or an unnecessary jab in this messy office drama.

A woman resigns and blames her toxic coworker, sparking debate on workplace betrayal and honesty.

Woman Quits Job, Drops Harsh Truth On Toxic Coworker She Mentored From Day One
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my coworker she’s the reason I resigned?'

I (F, 27) recently resigned from my university job. People assumed I did because I want a more stable job (work in government).

But honestly, the real reason was a toxic coworker who used to be my close friend.

I actually helped her get her job. I shared materials, teaching tips, and record-keeping techniques so she could adjust.

I even went out of my way by talking to each people we work with to help her adjust. I really wanted her to succeed.

A few months in, rumors started that she was an “other woman” of a married colleague.

People warned me about her, but I defended her and stood by her even when it made me look bad

(I didn't know what they we're doing to be labelled as having an affair).

Things changed when she snapped at me after I suggested a better way to organize her records. After that, I stopped involving myself in her tasks.

From then on, she avoided her assigned office and didn’t complete simple tasks I gave her, like shelf reading and re-shelving (we work in a library).

This year, I assigned her the semestral inventory because I was busy with an upcoming evaluation and visit.

She acknowledged it in a meeting, but the semester ended and nothing was done.

During summer, she used “Teacher’s Leave” as an excuse not to do the semestral inventory assigned to her earlier.

She said she could if she's allowed to work during "Teacher's Leave" so she asked me to draft a letter asking her for work,

later I found out it was so she could earn service credits. I was called by our admin and told she's not allowed to work because she's on leave.

I later explained that it was a tasked assigned to her earlier and i only wanted her to finish it.

She was also paid extra for the upcoming evaluation and visit prep, but her outputs had errors.

When I asked her to correct them, she dismissed it and again cited her leave.

Later, I learned she told her program head I was “forcing” her to work. It escalated to admin, and I felt like they believed her side more than mine.

That was my breaking point. I couldn't continue working with her. I look for other job, applied, got accepted and recently, I resigned.

Before leaving, I told her to her face that she was the reason I resigned. She looked upset, almost crying, but I honestly felt relieved finally saying it.

Later, she insisted she never said I forced her, just that she asked about her workload.

But considering how far things escalated, I still don’t fully believe that.

So, AITA for telling her directly she was the reason I left?

Or should I have just kept quiet and let people assume it was all about marriage and stability?

TL;DR: I helped a friend get hired, defended her against rumors, but she neglected her tasks and later made it look like I was forcing her to work.

Before resigning, I told her she was the reason I left. AITA for being that honest?

This Redditor’s story is a masterclass in navigating toxic dynamics. She started as a mentor, sharing tips and defending her friend against “other woman” rumors, only to face slacking, excuses, and a betrayal that escalated to admin-level drama.

The coworker’s refusal to complete tasks like the semestral inventory, citing “Teacher’s Leave,” and her claim that the Redditor “forced” her to work, pushed our hero to her limit. It’s no wonder she resigned and spilled the tea.

Let’s unpack this. The Redditor’s loyalty blinded her to red flags, like her coworker’s victim-playing tactics. Meanwhile, the coworker likely leaned on excuses to dodge accountability, a classic move in dysfunctional workplaces.

Both sides clashed over expectations. Our Redditor wanted reliability, while her coworker seemed to prioritize personal gain, like service credits.

This mirrors broader workplace issues: a 2023 Gallup study found that 70% of employee engagement hinges on clear communication and trust, both absent here.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman states, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships”. This applies to work friendships too. The coworker’s actions eroded trust, leaving the Redditor feeling gaslit.

For solutions, setting firm boundaries early, like documenting tasks in writing, could’ve clarified expectations. Mediation with admin might’ve helped, but the damage was done.

The Redditor’s confession was bold but risky. While cathartic, it might’ve burned bridges. A neutral approach, like addressing issues with HR first, could’ve preserved her peace.

Still, her honesty highlights a universal truth: toxic dynamics can’t be ignored. Workplaces thrive on mutual respect, and when that’s missing, it’s time to reevaluate.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some believe the coworker’s victim-playing and poor work ethic justified OP’s honesty.

Particular_Access630 − NTA at all. What you told her was the truth. And she did what she does best, play the victim

CocoaAlmondsRock − Hell, no. She's upset because she knows she won't get away with the same s__t under a second boss.

She could blame one, and it's he-said, she-said. But if the same thing happens under a second boss, she suddenly looks like a slacker. Which she is.

If there are other people in the department, tell them to be on the lookout for her victim behaviors and excuses. Be petty about it. You've earned it.

Organic_Ad1430 − Nah you’re not the a__hole, you just finally said the quiet part out loud.

Honestly she sounds like one of those coworkers who show up, stir chaos, then somehow convince management they’re the victim.

I had a “friend” like that too at my old job trained them, covered for them, defended them

and they repaid me by throwing me under the bus the second it benefited them.

If anything, telling her she was the reason you quit is doing her a favor.

Maybe it’ll click that her actions actually have consequences but let’s be real, she’s probably already telling everyone you were jealous or unfair.

People like that never change, they just find a new sucker.

Some argue OP’s honesty was warranted due to the coworker’s betrayal and unprofessionalism.

[Reddit User] − Not at all. You helped her to get a job, defended her when the rumours spread and she repaid you by making things difficult.

Honesty is sometimes the best policy and you shouldn't have to hide your reasons

AcanthisittaNo9122 − NTA. One of my uni friends did just that. We were in smaller program, so there’re like 30 people in our major, all quite close.

One guy is very polite and helpful, got good grades and his notes were superb, which he gave out generously.

Entering working world, he still that polite and generous person, went out of his way to help teammates and all but there’s one person that made him quit.

He tried to be nice and said nothing but that person kept contacting him to ask for his help

even after he left so he snapped and told the guy that “you’re the reason I left the job so please don’t contact me anymore” while he still go out...

Dana07620 − NTA I hope her next boss treats her strictly as a coworker who is expected to do her job. Because, honestly, it sounds like she should be fired.

Others advise cutting contact with the coworker to avoid further issues.

AlwaysHelpful22 − Keeping any contact with her is a risk to you. Move on in peace, NTA.

broadsharp2 − NTA She's a parasite. Best idea is to remove her from your life. Now that no one will cover for her, she'll sink like rock.

One-Employee9235 − OP, I don't know how old you are, but those of us with a bit more of life's experience will tell you that

there's a saying that applies perfectly to your situation. "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

You are flirting with part 2 right now. Unless I'm missing all the wonderful things she does for you (that you don't mention),

she's not your friend - a friend gives as well as takes. NTA, but steer clear of her.

Some suggest OP should have been more cautious in professional relationships.

Mindless-Locksmith76 − No good deed goes unpunished. Sorry you learned she was a selfish user

but, honestly, why would you defend her if you didn't even know what she was being accused of?

I feel the confession was cathartic so, good for you. Now learn your lesson and don't cast pearls before swine.

Quirky-Flight-9812 − Some good advice I received early in life was 'be careful who you recommend for a job where you work. Their behavior at work reflects on you.'

TemporaryOwlet − Here is a lesson: keep everything in written, escalate as soon as needed

and avoid inviting friends and family to work with you especially as subordinates. She is not your friend, by the way.

Others view the coworker’s behavior as manipulative and self-serving.

LillianDove − your ex-friend sounds like a classic case of an "other woman whose always the victim.

Miserable-Alarm-5963 − NTA and good on you, I would have gone full napalm and ensured that everyone who knows you at work knows the full story as well!

Chemical_Shirt7837 − Told my neighbour who has sold his house that I hated him and entire feral family

when they tried to use my property for the 50th time. He looked like I kicked his dog. Sometimes it's good to let people know they are giant POS.

This Redditor’s journey from loyal friend to fed-up employee is a wild library tale.

Her coworker’s slacking and shady moves pushed her to resign and drop a truth bomb that left jaws on the floor.

Was her blunt confession a power move or a step too far? Could she have exited quietly, or did her coworker deserve the callout? How would you handle a work friend who turns toxic? Drop your hot takes below!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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