Family isn’t always what it looks like on paper. For one 17-year-old boy, the word “siblings” has always felt more like a label than a reality. Though he technically has half-siblings from his mother’s first marriage, he hasn’t seen them in over a decade.
And the memories he does have are painful, even dangerous. From emotional manipulation to outright physical abuse, his early years with them were far from warm or loving. Yet, despite all of that, his parents have recently confronted him for describing himself as an only child.
Is he wrong for claiming the family structure he actually knows?
When he was very young, the relationship between his mother’s first children and his father deteriorated rapidly. The half-siblings, still grieving their biological father, lashed out violently, pushing his dad down the stairs and even trying to involve Child Protective Services with false claims.
All accusations were investigated and dismissed, but the damage was done. The family fractured. While therapy and psychiatric support were offered, the efforts failed to repair the broken bonds.
The children were eventually placed with grandparents and then, following more legal complications, ended up with their paternal grandparents. By the time the boy came into the picture, there was no chance of a normal sibling relationship forming.
As a result, his upbringing was that of an only child. He didn’t have a relationship with his half-siblings, he never experienced the warmth of sibling camaraderie, and he didn’t feel any connection to the family unit his parents expected him to acknowledge.
He learned about the drama later, piecing together the violence, manipulations, and court battles from fragmented memories and stories his parents eventually shared. What might have been ordinary family interactions were instead shadowed by trauma and mistrust.
“I don’t feel love for them,” he admitted. “I’ve always felt like I was an only child.” Most of his friends never even know about his half-siblings, and he has always been selective about who he tells.
His parents only recently discovered how he identifies himself, and they were hurt. They emphasized blood ties, trying to convince him that acknowledging his siblings was important, regardless of the past.
His dad even argued that, while they were not his biological children, they were still his kids, deserving recognition.
But his extended family reacted differently. Both maternal and paternal grandparents, along with an aunt, made it clear that expecting him to claim relationships with people who have repeatedly acted against him was unreasonable.
They understood the context, validated his experiences, and supported his right to define his own family boundaries.
Experts in child psychology say the boy’s perspective is understandable. Dr. Elaine Harper, a clinical psychologist specializing in family trauma, notes: “Family connections are not just biological. They are built through shared experience, trust, and emotional safety.
Children exposed to abuse or manipulative behavior from siblings often create psychological boundaries for self-protection. Claiming oneself as an only child in such contexts is a legitimate coping mechanism and an honest reflection of lived reality.”
See what others had to share with OP:
Many agreed that the parents’ insistence on emphasizing “blood” over lived experience was misguided.
Others highlighted that the parents seemed to be trying to rewrite history or ease their own guilt rather than addressing the trauma.
Several Redditors emphasized that the boy’s perspective was also about clarity and self-respect.
Reflecting on the situation more broadly, this story illustrates a painful truth: sometimes the family we are biologically tied to is not the family we can emotionally engage with.
Trauma, abuse, and unmet expectations can sever connections long before they have a chance to form. While parents naturally want to emphasize unity, there is also a responsibility to honor the lived experiences of children.
Final Thoughts
Growing up in a fractured family can complicate the simple labels most of us take for granted. This boy’s choice to describe himself as an only child is a candid acknowledgment of his experiences and boundaries.
Family is about more than blood; it is about safety, love, and shared history. He is not dismissing anyone’s existence, but he is protecting his own well-being and honoring the reality of his upbringing.
In the end, identifying with what feels authentic is a necessary act of self-respect.
Was he wrong to do so? Absolutely not. Family labels can be complicated, and sometimes being honest about one’s own reality is the healthiest choice anyone can make.
