A 23-year-old woman finally found a keeper worth showing off to the family, but her toxic big sister has spent years torpedoing her life: secretly rehoming her cat, selling her Bad Bunny tickets for €300 profit, betrayal on repeat.
Now, for the big summer dinner introducing the boyfriend, she wants the saboteur banned. Mom drew the line: “No sister, no dinner.” It’s war: risk nuclear fallout with the parents or let the backstabber ruin one more milestone.
Woman debates skipping a family dinner to avoid her selfish sister who sold her concert ticket and rehomed the family cat without warning.
What we’re watching here is classic sibling entitlement meets parental enabling. And sadly, it’s more common than you’d hope.
At its core, the older sister (25F) repeatedly prioritized short-term gain (money, convenience, drama with the ex) over basic consideration for the people who’ve repeatedly bailed her out. First the cat goodbye ambush, then the Bad Bunny ticket flip after her sister literally lent her the account and offered to drive.
This dynamic didn’t appear out of thin air. The mother’s “if she’s not invited, the dinner’s canceled” stance is textbook favoritism (or at least conflict avoidance on steroids).
Research from the Journal of Family Psychology shows that perceived parental favoritism in adulthood is linked to higher sibling rivalry and lower relationship satisfaction, even depression in the less-favored child.
“In the research, favoritism from parents is one of the biggest influences on how that sibling relationship is going to function, especially in childhood,” says J. Jill Suitor, a sociologist at Purdue University. “That’s the most finite resource, right? A parent’s attention. And siblings can absolutely carry that into adulthood.” In this family, the message is clear: Sister’s comfort above everyone else’s boundaries.
The broader issue here is that adult sibling relationships are the longest relationships most of us will ever have, yet we get zero training on how to handle them when one party turns into a walking red flag.
A 2022 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 1 in 3 adults are estranged or distant from at least one sibling, often over repeated boundary violations and perceived unfair treatment from parents. Sound familiar?
So what’s a reasonable move here? Therapists generally recommend “structured contact” over total nuclear meltdown: attend the dinner, keep interactions polite but surface-level, and stop investing emotional (or financial) energy where it isn’t reciprocated. Grey-rock the sister, enjoy the paella, let your boyfriend see the circus for himself.
Long-term, hosting your own events (as several commenters suggested) lets you control the guest list without handing Mom the ultimate veto power.
See what others had to share with OP:
Some people say NTA and encourage OP to set firm boundaries or get petty revenge on the sister.
Some people say NTA because the sister is selfish and repeatedly disrespects OP.
Some people say YWBTA or advise against banning the sister because it would escalate family drama too far.
Others suggest practical compromises to avoid having the sister at the dinner.
At the end of the day, nobody should have to swallow repeated disrespect just to keep the family WhatsApp group peaceful. Our Redditor isn’t asking to burn the house down, she just wants one evening where she’s not sitting across from someone who treats loyalty like a limited-time offer.
Is protecting your peace at a single dinner really “going nuclear,” or is it the bare minimum after getting sold out (literally) for €300? Would you suck it up for Mom, host your own intro night, or bring the drama just to watch it unfold? Drop your verdict below, we’re all ears!
