Holidays can be stressful, but OP found herself dealing with a bigger issue when her sister’s family caught hand, foot, and mouth disease. Her mom wanted to go ahead with Thanksgiving at OP’s house, even though they were still contagious.
OP didn’t want her kids to get sick again, so she told her mom no. Her mom got upset, and OP felt guilty. Was OP wrong for saying no to Thanksgiving at her house, or was she just doing what was best for her family? Keep reading to see if OP was justified in her decision.
A woman refuses to host Thanksgiving at her house for her sick relatives, fearing they will spread illness to her children
Family gatherings are often filled with warmth and joy, but what happens when a simple holiday celebration becomes fraught with tension due to health concerns?
In this situation, OP (Original Poster) finds themselves at the heart of a family conflict, trying to balance the desire for togetherness with the responsibility of protecting their children’s health.
The emotions involved, on both sides, are understandable, and the story highlights the complexities of family dynamics when personal safety and well-being are at stake.
OP’s decision to refuse Thanksgiving at their house, given the contagious nature of Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (HFMD), is driven by a deep need to protect their children.
With four kids, one of whom is particularly vulnerable to illness, OP’s refusal is not out of malice but out of a genuine concern for their family’s health. The past experience with HFMD, where their children suffered through severe symptoms, left lasting emotional scars.
This context is critical to understanding why OP felt compelled to draw a firm boundary. As a parent, the instinct to safeguard one’s children often overrides other concerns, and OP’s decision comes from a place of wanting to prevent another traumatic health ordeal.
According to the Mayo Clinic, HFMD can remain contagious for several days or even weeks after visible symptoms fade, with transmission occurring via respiratory droplets, saliva, and contaminated surfaces.
This means that even if the family members seem to have recovered, the potential for further spread remains high.
For OP’s mother and sister, the situation is more emotionally charged. The request for OP to host Thanksgiving, despite the ongoing risk, is rooted in a deep desire for familial unity.
For OP’s mother, the emotional weight of tradition and family bonding seems to overshadow the concern for potential illness. Her emotional reaction, crying and hanging up, reflects the distress that can arise when expectations clash with reality.
The fact that she is willing to overlook the health risks in favor of preserving the holiday is an attempt to preserve family cohesion, but it also places OP in a difficult position where their protective instincts are pitted against the emotional demands of family obligations.
This emotional dynamic is common in families where there is a history of sacrificing personal boundaries for the sake of togetherness.
Psychologically, OP’s actions can be seen as a response to a past trauma. Previous exposure to HFMD in the house left the children with painful blisters and skin peeling, causing significant distress.
As psychologist Dr. Susan K. Weitzman suggests, setting boundaries is essential for preserving one’s emotional and physical well-being, especially in situations where there’s a risk of harm.
OP’s firm stance, although causing friction, is rooted in a rational fear of what could happen if they allow their sick relatives to visit. It’s not about punishing anyone but about creating a safe space for their family.
The resolution, where OP’s father intervenes to put his foot down, brings a sense of relief. OP’s decision was respected, and the Thanksgiving gathering will be rescheduled once it’s safe.
This outcome reflects the importance of having open conversations and respecting each other’s boundaries, even when emotions run high.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
This group strongly supports the idea of not letting anyone with a contagious illness into the home
These commenters emphasize the importance of not compromising health for a holiday
This group agrees that the risk of spreading illness is too great and that the Thanksgiving gathering should be canceled for safety reasons
These users are all in favor of protecting their household from illness
How far should we go to accommodate family, especially when it comes to our health and safety? Do you think OP did the right thing, or did she overreact? How would you handle a situation like this? Let us know your thoughts below!
