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Husband Takes Affair Partner’s Wallet And Keys In Revenge, And It Costs Him His Marriage

by Leona Pham
December 11, 2025
in Social Issues

Infidelity can unravel a relationship in a way nothing else can, and when you find yourself on the receiving end, the pain can cloud your judgment. For one man, his discovery of his wife’s affair led to a series of decisions he didn’t initially regret, but as the consequences played out, he started to wonder if he’d taken things too far.

In a moment of rage and hurt, he made a decision that would cost his wife’s lover dearly, not only losing his belongings but also his marriage.

But when his wife confronted him, blaming him for the affair partner’s divorce, he couldn’t help but feel more betrayed than ever. Was his reaction justified, or did he go overboard in his response to the affair? Scroll down to see how this intense situation unfolded.

A man takes revenge on his wife’s affair partner by “robbing” him, which inadvertently leads to his divorce

Husband Takes Affair Partner’s Wallet And Keys In Revenge, And It Costs Him His Marriage
not the actual photo

'AITAH for "robbing" my wife's affair partner which has now lead to his divorce?'

I (32) have been married to my soon to be ex-wife (30), Madison, for four years.

We are currently in counseling but it is not going to work.

About a year ago I found out she was having an affair by coming home to their clothes in our living room and sounds coming from our bedroom.

I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences.

I did not want to go to jail.

Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can.

I turned off my phone and got shitfaced with my buddy. His wife hosed us off in the morning.

After I turned my phone back on I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison.

First scared because she got my updated flight information.

Then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early.

Then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged.

The guy she was with is five inches shorter than me and about 60 pounds lighter. So if he had taken my clothes it would be obvious.

He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare keys from his house.

Unfortunately for him his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house. Where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes.

Long story short she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity. Which caused their prenup to be cancelled.

Which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant s__t show.

It took a couple of months but my wife convinced me to try and forgive her.

We started going to counseling and we were working our way through it. Until recently.

In a counseling session she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys.

She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it was my...

I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with, I was afraid he might call the cops.

Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care.

I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced. And that I hope his ex takes everything.

I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce.

Now that I know how she feels it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce.

Discovering a partner’s infidelity is widely recognized in psychological research as a deep emotional breach that can shatter trust and trigger intense emotional reactions.

Studies describe infidelity as a form of relational betrayal that often leads to anger, mistrust, loss of self‑esteem, and even symptoms resembling trauma.

Nearly 60 % of betrayed partners report emotional distress, including depression and damaged self‑worth, after learning of a spouse’s affair.

In some qualitative research, betrayal by a romantic partner has been conceptualized as interpersonal trauma, with many individuals experiencing PTSD‑like symptoms, anxiety, and depression. These findings help explain why infidelity can feel like a foundational violation, it doesn’t just hurt pride, it wounds emotional security.

The husband’s action, taking the affair partner’s belongings, appears to be a revenge response stemming from anger and betrayal. Psychological sources caution that revenge rarely produces healing.

In discussions of retaliation in relationships, Psychology Today notes that trying to “punish” a partner or third party may momentarily feel satisfying but often prolongs conflict and emotional pain rather than resolving it.

The widely‑cited advice against revenge reflects the idea that it keeps the focus on resentment instead of recovery or closure.

Anger after infidelity is common and understandable; the betrayed partner may feel intense rage toward both the unfaithful spouse and the third party involved.

Emotional reactions can include a mix of anger, shame, betrayal, and loss of trust, and these emotions may be expressed impulsively. But acting on anger with retaliatory behavior tends to escalate conflict and create additional stress rather than help emotional recovery.

Infidelity doesn’t just affect the betrayed partner, it often changes attachment and trust patterns. Research on betrayal trauma and attachment suggests that a partner’s infidelity can impair future trust and lower self‑esteem, especially when emotional bonds are deeply violated.

This means that even after the affair ends or the relationship dissolves, the betrayed person may continue to carry emotional scars that influence how they relate to others.

Dr. Rita Watson, Director of Policy and Education, Department of Psychiatry, also suggests that forgiveness and structured healing, whether the couple stays together or not, can help reduce the long-term psychological damage of betrayal.

While forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the behavior, it can be part of meaningfully processing the hurt and allowing personal growth.

In this case, the husband’s reaction, taking the affair partner’s items, contributed to chaos beyond the original betrayal, including consequences for the third party’s marriage.

While the emotional pain caused by the affair was real and significant, the dynamics of revenge and retaliation generally increase turmoil rather than promote healing.

The eventual decision to end the marriage and seek emotional and relational closure is aligned with what many relationship researchers find: once trust is fundamentally broken, separation may be the healthiest path forward for both individuals, especially if the relationship cannot be rebuilt with transparency and mutual effort.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters called out the wife’s audacity to defend the affair partner, urging the poster to proceed with the divorce and avoid further communication

[Reddit User] − I really hope this is true because that is amazing work

NTA. Can’t believe she had the audacity to back him up after she betrayed you with him.

Zern_ − That fact that she tried to blame his divorce on you and not the fact that they had an affair says a lot about her

SweetSerenityxx − NTA. Cancel the rest of the marriage counselling session and get that divorce ASAP.

Hopefully, you are in an area where you can get restitution from the AP and infidelity is considered to be at fault in divorce.

If she stuck to her marital vows she wouldn't be in this situation and it further proves that she is in communication with the AP currently.

I hope you are in contact with the betrayed spouse because she can potentially help you with your case

by providing additional information and proof of the affair, including photos of AP leaving in your clothes.

If you own that home and your name is on the deed, move back in and sleep in the guest room. Give her the absolute silent treatment.

You do not want to make it look like you abandoned your home. Install cameras if you have to. Get that divorce and be free!

no_thanks_9802 − OMG I died laughing! Your wife has a lot of nerve sticking up for her AP and claiming that you wronged him.

How about the wrong her and him committed against you and his wife?

Clearly she doesn't regret her affair, just getting caught. I wish you well and I hope all goes your way in the divorce. NTA

This group found humor in the situation but agreed that the poster’s actions were justified

The_Crown_And_Anchor − File for divorce my dude.

Then reach out to this guy's wife and tell her who you are and that once her divorce is done...

you'd like to take her to dinner to celebrate both your marriages ending and karma doing

It's thing NTAH PS Never admit to taking his clothes if you haven't already done so.

Just claim you have no idea what they are talking about

danceoff-now − Hope you grabbed yourself a ROYALE with cheese after you dumped the clothes.

Playful_Pudding2251 − Sometimes being an AH is justified. This is one of those times. Well played. NTA

These commenters pointed out the wife’s continued attachment to the affair partner, stressing that she was still in contact with him

Thisisastupidname0 − Why does she know anything about him and his current struggles if she’s trying to earn your trust back lmao ditch her for sure!

IndigoMontigo − Was that an a__hole move? Possibly, but only barely.

It's not even a rounding error in comparison to what they were doing.

And you are right, he isn't getting a divorce because you took his stuff,

he's getting a divorce because he was cheating and his wife found out. Which she deserved.

Not telling somebody that their spouse is cheating on them is a real a__hole move.

Admirable_Air7185 − Let me get this straight, she's f__king a dude in your bed (and not the first time), and your the bad guy for that guy getting a divorce??!!

F__k that. She still cares for the guy. Stop going to counseling, quit talking to her, block her, and run don't walk to that divorce.

These users backed the poster’s decision to cut ties with the wife, advising them to stop attending counseling and only communicate through legal channels

4tlasPrim3 − The moment you held yourself from picking up that cricket bat and beat the shid out of them, you were NTA.

She deserves all the turmoil and guilt she's going through rn. Congrats as well you'll soon be a free man once again.

lordvexel − OP IF SHE KNOWS ABOUT HIS DIVORCE TROUBLE THAT MEANS SHE IS STILL IN CONTACT WITH HIM

PenaltySafe4523 − NTA. Stop going to couples counseling. Only communicate via your lawyers.

Was the husband’s “revenge” justified? While his actions may not have been mature or productive, they reflect the anger and sense of betrayal he felt.

The wife’s failure to take responsibility for her actions and her blaming him for the affair partner’s divorce shows the lack of growth in their relationship.

Divorce seems inevitable at this point, but does he deserve to feel empowered by his actions, or should he have taken a different route? What would you do in his situation? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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