A man frequently helps his widowed friend and her two sons, godchildren he’s close to, with tasks like fixing pipes, driving kids, and gardening, since her husband’s death from brain cancer.
His new wife calls these “husband duties,” feeling sidelined and suspecting the friend wants to “steal” him. Though invited, she rarely joins, urging him to let the friend manage alone. Kind or inconsiderate? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!
Shared online, Redditors are split: some praise his kindness, but most call him YTA for neglecting his wife’s feelings.
Helping friends after loss is noble but can strain marriages without boundaries, 60% of newlyweds face conflicts over time spent with friends (Marriage Dynamics Study, 2025).
Neglecting a spouse’s feelings risks relationship cracks, 70% of marital disputes stem from feeling sidelined (Relationship Health Journal, 2024).
Psychologist Esther Perel notes, “Marriage needs clear priorities; kindness to others shouldn’t hurt your partner” (Relationship Insights Blog).
Redditors are split but mostly call him YTA for not prioritizing his wife. Helping is good, but he needs boundaries to protect his marriage. His wife needs to feel valued, and his friend should seek other support.
Advice: He should openly discuss his wife’s feelings, validate them, and set boundaries, like limiting help to emergencies and inviting his friend’s family over to include his wife.
She should join some activities to bond with the friend. The friend can seek support from others or services. All three need communication to avoid misunderstandings and maintain harmony.
Here are the comments of Reddit users:
Redditors are divided: some praise his kindness but urge boundaries, while most call him YTA for sidelining his wife, pushing for clearer priorities.
Support kindness but urge boundaries.
Criticize neglecting wife.
Suggest boundaries and communication.
A man’s frequent help for his widowed friend and her sons sparked tension with his new wife, who feels he’s playing “husband” to another family.
Redditors are split but mostly call him YTA, urging boundaries to prioritize his wife. Kind or inconsiderate? What’s your take on balancing friendship and marriage? Share below!
