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This Man Discovered His Autistic Brother Tried To Steal His Identity For A Loan – He Refused To Stay Silent

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine logging into your credit report, expecting a clean slate, only to find a loan application you never signed, linked to your Social Security number and your own brother’s name. That was the gut-punch a 32-year-old man felt when he realized his younger brother, Tim, had tried to forge his way into film school at his expense.

Tim, 24, autistic and living back home, had quietly borrowed private documents their mother carelessly left out to co-sign a hefty student loan without a word. Meanwhile, the Redditor was across the country, working hard to build the life he’d always dreamed of, saving for a house and protecting his credit like it was gold.

The betrayal cracked something inside him. When he snapped, “I guess you go to jail,” he didn’t know the words would push Tim into a psychiatric hold, triggering a full-blown family crisis. Now, everyone is pointing fingers at him.

Was he too harsh in the heat of the moment, or was this the only way to defend his future from a brother’s reckless fraud? As the dust settles, the line between compassion and self-preservation has never looked blurrier.

This Redditor’s tale is a wild ride through family betrayal and legal headaches! Here’s the original post:

This Man Discovered His Autistic Brother Tried To Steal His Identity For A Loan - He Refused To Stay Silent

Aita For Telling My Brother “I Guess You Go To Jail”?

I (32) my brother Tim (24) has trying to go to film school. In July I got a flag on my credit report someone tried to cosign my name on a private student loan. I found out my brother somehow got the information from my mom thinking I wouldn’t notice. Tim is on the spectrum.

He doesn’t have great judgment but my wife was pissed because we are living with my inlaws (on the other side of the country) saving up for a home once (if) the interest rates drop. I have kept my credit flawless. So I did the things you are supposed to do report it for fraud. I tell my mom and she doesn’t say much.

It slowly comes out that my brother couldn’t get a loan and he found some paperwork about my parents will that had my ssn on it laying around. He couldn’t get the loan without a co signer and put me down. It takes months for this to come out.

So my wife and in laws pressured me to file charges on Tim. I told my mom what Tim did was wrong and illegal. My mom started crying and handed the phone to Tim and I explained to him about what he did and he needs a lawyer.

Again Tim is autistic and started panicking about what will happen to him after the headache of his actions and everything going on I said “ guess you go to jail”

Since then Tim went into a bad state and his meltdown caused him to be on psychiatric hold.

He’s in bad shape and my family blames me because he keeps saying I’m going to jail. I don’t know if he actually would for what he did but because of what I told him he’s regressed bad and has been in a panic for weeks and is not getting any better.

My parents did get him a lawyer to try to calm him down but he’s back in the hospital again for another stay.

A Shattered Trust

For years, the Redditor and his wife had scraped together savings for a down payment, living frugally with his in-laws to make their dream a reality. His credit score was immaculate, the foundation of every plan he had carefully laid. But in an instant, that stability was threatened.

Tim’s attempt to co-sign a student loan wasn’t a harmless mistake. It was identity theft with real legal consequences. The Redditor’s anger boiled over, fueled by a sense of betrayal that his own brother had tried to sabotage him.

When he confronted Tim by phone, all the frustration poured out. He didn’t sugarcoat it. He didn’t soften his voice. He told Tim he was going to report the fraud, and if that meant jail, so be it.

It was only later he learned how badly Tim had unraveled. Overwhelmed and terrified, Tim had ended up on a psychiatric hold. In the family’s eyes, this wasn’t Tim’s fault, it was his, for lashing out instead of understanding.

A Family Divided

But the Redditor wasn’t sure he owed any gentleness. Autism explained some of Tim’s impulsivity but didn’t erase the danger of what he had done. As Dr. Tony Attwood has observed, “Individuals with autism may struggle with emotional regulation, making confrontations particularly overwhelming” (Tony Attwood’s Autism Resources). But Tim had still knowingly used someone else’s identity.

Adding to the mess was their mother’s negligence. She had left critical documents in the open, creating the opportunity for the fraud. When she realized what Tim had done, she stayed silent, hoping it would never come to light.

A 2023 FBI report showed that over 2.6 million Americans experience identity theft every year, often from people they know. The Redditor knew that if he let this go, his credit would stay vulnerable to more schemes.

He wondered if he could have handled it differently, spoken more gently, tried to explain the consequences without a threat. Maybe a calm conversation, a mediator, or a therapist could have helped. But in that moment, fear for his future eclipsed everything else.

Are these comments pure gold or just Reddit’s peanut gallery? You decide!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many Redditors were stunned by the gravity of the fraud, questioning whether the brother had ever faced real consequences.

MontanaWildWiman − NTA. Identity theft and fraud are serious crimes. Has he never been held accountable for his actions?

Hillman314 − NTA. It also sounds like your mom knew what was going on and perhaps helped him. Did he first ask her to co-sign? Then she said “No”? …and then he just happened to find some paperwork at your mom’s with your SSN? How exactly did he find that info?

If they did help him commit fraud, his “guilt” (aka knowing “this is wrong”) needs to be weighed against a parent saying “Meh.. it’s ok…he won’t know/mind.

BetAlternative8397 − The lending institution has a lot of ‘splaining to do, Lucy. I was in lending and collections early in my career but one rule we had then, and still exists, is that co-signers must be spoken with privately so they fully understand their responsibilities; and their identity must be verified.

Obviously, your brother forged your signature and the lender did a p**s poor job of verification. Maybe your brother’s autism mitigates his criminality somewhat. Maybe. But the lender is culpable and you might have cause for action against them.

Commenters were clear: autism isn’t a free pass for fraud, and the brother’s calculated scheme. and the parents’ possible complicity.

fuzzy_mic − INFO - Did the loan go through with you listed as co-signer? Are you currently the co-signer of record for the student loan?

Odd-End-1405 − NTA Your brother is a criminal. He attempted and potentially put you and your family at financial risk. Being on the spectrum does not equate to having no morals and immunity to legal ramifications.

You must follow through to ensure this loan is not on your records and you are not party to the fraud. He has legal representation. He can have his meltdowns, but again. Not your problem. Your parents sound a bit complicit.

I would very strongly tell them to destroy anything with your personal information on it and if you found they again tried to assist him utilizing your information, you would cut ties permanently.

Ill-District2338 − People always say they are on the spectrum where they say I am autistic and I do not know any better – it doesn’t work that way – this person was smart enough to figure out how to do this fake loan procedure?

I knew it was wrong because they didn’t go to anyone about it they just did it… And if someone knows something is wrong and they do it anyway?

Most commenters sided with the Redditor, agreeing he had every right to protect himself and call out his family’s betrayal.

baka-tari − Something just doesn't add up. If he really is as incapable as your mom portrays him, how would he have gotten the idea to use your info to make you a co-signer. I feel like there's info your mom isn't telling you, and probably never will.

Sounds like they both (brother and mom) thought 'We'll get the co-signed loan and since we'll pay it off, OP will never have to know a thing. ' I wonder why your mom didn't just co-sign for him instead of (likely) helping him pursue this course of action?

Being on the spectrum isn't an excuse for criminal behavior. If he's sharp enough to go to film school, I gotta think he's also not so far on the extreme end of the spectrum that he can't understand the difference between right and wrong.

Straysmom − NTA. From your comments, he knew what he was doing was wrong. And it sounds like your parents were complicit in this. You absolutely must follow through with the fraud/identity theft charges.

Otherwise, your credit will be completely destroyed & you can kiss goodbye to buying a house, car or anything else requiring good credit.

[Reddit User] − You did the right thing.

Are these comments pure gold or just Reddit’s peanut gallery? You decide!

Now, the family is fractured. His parents and brother see him as cruel. His in-laws think he was protecting himself. And he’s caught in the middle, wondering if there was any version of this story that didn’t end in disaster.

Was his reaction a necessary defense against betrayal, or a reckless outburst that caused more harm than it prevented?

If your own sibling tried to steal your identity, would you forgive or fight back?

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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