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Stay-At-Home Gets A Bike For Christmas But Can’t Use For Weeks Until Her Mother-In-Law Drops Off The Rest

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

One mom received a gift that felt more like a puzzle—except the last piece showed up weeks later, as her birthday present… from her mother-in-law. A Redditor, 28, shared her quiet frustration after getting a bicycle for Christmas that she couldn’t use without the baby seats—which never arrived until her birthday in January.

While the intention might have been practical, the execution left her feeling sidelined. Was it fair to be told her gift was complete only after two separate holidays and multiple delays? Or was this another subtle sign of unequal footing in a relationship that’s already skewed? Let’s look at the original story that got Reddit fired up.

Stay-At-Home Gets A Bike For Christmas But Can’t Use For Weeks Until Her Mother-In-Law Drops Off The Rest

One SAHM’s upset over her Christmas bike gift being incomplete until her birthday sparked a debate about gratitude and family dynamics

'Aita For Being Upset My Gift Got Split Over Two Events?'

I(28f) have been a SAHM for over 10 months now. I don't have a drivers licence so I walk everywhere I go. For Christmas I got a bicycle, the first one I ever had that is actually ment for short people like myself, so that's great.

When I asked about the babyseats my partner said he wanted me to pick the colour, so he didn't buy them yet. Fast forward to mid January, I've picked the seats and sent them over weeks ago, but I still can't use my Christmas present. I ask for it again and everytime I get the same vague answer.

MIL just came over and dropped off the seat as I won't be home on my actual birthday because they will be renovating our home then. (I tried keeping my birtday free but the workers were busy). It's really sweet of her to give me those seats as a birthday present, and I am grateful.

But I can't help that it stings that a means of transport for me and our son needs to be split over 2 gifts when everyone elses needs are met instantly. Is it really that ungrateful to be upset about this?. AITA for being upset a bike was my christmas AND birthday present?

Edit: I've tried to keep this objective because I wanted an opinion about this single issue. But there's just too much behind it. I'm supposed to leave this up but I am NTA here.

On the surface, a bicycle might seem like a generous, useful gift. But when gifts are tied up with power dynamics and household control, they often reveal much more than ribbon and bows. In this story, the bicycle wasn’t just missing baby seats—it was missing consideration, partnership, and a sense of autonomy.

What this Redditor described goes beyond minor gift-giving etiquette. It reflects a broader imbalance in domestic partnerships, particularly for stay-at-home mothers. According to a 2018 Pew Research report, SAHMs are more likely than their working counterparts to lack access to financial resources, including decision-making power over household expenses.

And that power gap matters. Dr. Brad Brenner, Co-Founder of Therapy Group of NYC, explains:

“Financial control isn’t just about money—it’s about emotional leverage. When one partner controls access to resources, it can lead to deep-seated resentment and power imbalances in the relationship.”

This gift wasn’t just a bike—it was her only means of transportation, something essential for independence and caregiving. Her partner delaying such a necessity under the guise of “gift planning” not only limited her mobility but subtly undermined her autonomy. And when the missing piece came from her mother-in-law instead, it left her wondering whose idea this gift even was.

Critically, Redditors also highlighted a glaring issue: If the cost of a gift must be split between two major holidays, where is the financial equality in the relationship? Should her basic needs really be considered “gifts” at all?

The takeaway here isn’t about the bike or the seat—it’s about how often women’s needs are framed as luxuries, even in family dynamics. A truly thoughtful gesture would have ensured the bike was ready-to-ride. A thoughtful partner would’ve made it happen before January.

Reddit’s riders rallied behind the Redditor, seeing the split gift as a symptom of bigger problems

This group supported her upset, framing the seats as a necessity, not a gift

Slow-Bumblebee-8609 − NTA. The bike sounds like a nice and thoughtful gift. However, those seats weren't a gift to you, they were a necessity for your son. It is akin to getting gifted a voucher to pay for your son's school, or been given clothes for your son for your bday. **Don't you have access to joint household accounts, from which you are able to afford the necessities without having to ask other people for them?

Mistress-DragonFlame − NTA. If the items were large enough purchases that it goes over budget for one gift event, then give them both at the Christmas event and have a smaller gift for birthday--but make it a separate gift (like a necklace or something). It's like getting a console as a Christmas gift--but then not having any games to play on it until a month later. It's just a useless brick until the second piece is there.

judysbootyy − NTA. And btw it isn’t a present. It’s necessary to transport your child.

Literalstranger − Even the bike is not a gift — Presumably you *need* the bike (or some sort of transport). But I digress. Solid NTA.

These Redditors flagged financial and partnership red flags

Characterde − Oh my God. You need to not have any more children with that husband of yours and find a way to get back to paying work because if he decides tomorrow that he's done with you, you have nothing to your name.

No savings, no money for attorney retainer, no money for food, no transportation, no licence, no money for apartment or food. You need emergency savings. And your retirement.... Do you know if your husband is securing your financial future during retirement?

All you are eligible for is half his social security in retirement. Do you have anything in your spousal Roth IRA? How does your 401k look like? I'm very worried about you. I think you need to read this: https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

And for financial help you can DM me, or read some books. I recommend Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money by b stanny. You can also head over to r/personalfinance they have sections with age appropriate advice: 25-35 https://www. reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/young_adult/ 35-45 https://www. reddit. com/r/personalfinance/wiki/early_career/

Sad_Researcher_781 − NTA. The bike/present is not the issue here. OP you seriously need to consider if this is how you want to live for the rest of your life.

Personally I would never be okay with being a SAHM unless I had full access to my family’s finances and my husband recognized that being a SAHM is a full time job too. For context, I became a SAHM last year after spending 18 years working outside the home in corporate America.

Even with my kids being older and in school, this is just as hard as having a job, and my husband recognizes that too. I never, ever would have agreed to stay home without control over our finances. Actually, for what it’s worth my husband usually isn’t all that clued in to our finances.

He’s comes to me to make sure there’s money in the checking account before he makes big purchases. You’re not being treated as a partner in your marriage and household. It’s time for some reflection and a serious talk with your husband.

AmberWaves80 − Girl, you’re a single parent with a financially abusive husband, the gift is the least of your problems. NTA.

[Reddit User] − As soon as I hear the word allowance, my hackles rise. We're in the 21st century, ffs. Nothing about your partnership sounds equal and the baby seat situation is just one example of many disparities. I suspect you already know this, though, so time to do some serious thinking. NTA.

This group suggested steps to secure her future

Catcats17 − That 'keep whatever is left over' money? Yeah... You need to start squirreling that away. You will need it one day. I can promise you that.

Skyvueva − After you straighten out the financial stuff, learn to drive. You will regret not knowing how unless you live in a city and/or country with great public transportation. If not, you will always be dependent on someone else.

A bicycle without a seat. A gift with strings. A birthday wrapped in obligation. What seems like a minor frustration became a lens into something bigger—a woman asking for equality and getting fragments instead.

Is it fair to call it a gift if it doesn’t fully serve its purpose? And should a necessity be given with fanfare only when it’s convenient for someone else? What do you think—was this a budgeting mishap or a red flag in disguise? Drop your thoughts below.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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