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Wife Facing Serious Illness Moves To Mother’s Home After Husband Rejects To Help During Treatment

by Jeffrey Stone
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

A devoted stay-at-home wife received a grave diagnosis requiring constant care and relief from household duties. Her husband, consumed by long workdays, dismissed every idea she offered, whether it’s welcoming her mother to assist, hiring professional help, or him taking leave. He demanded she cope alone while continuing chores.

Desperate for proper support to recover, she relocated temporarily to her mother’s house two hours away. His reaction exploded into frantic pleas, heated arguments, and involvement from his own mother, who accused her of selfishness.

A wife’s health crisis exposes her husband’s refusal to provide support during treatment.

Wife Facing Serious Illness Moves To Mother's Home After Husband Rejects To Help During Treatment
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for temporarily staying with my mom while receiving treatment despite my husband's disapproval?'

I (F31) started having health decline since the end of past year. I recently got diagnosed with a medical condition that require delicate care and treatment.

The issue is, as a SAHW I spend most of my day at home by myself while my husband work long hours.

In order for me to get treatment I need someone to stay with me. Not just that but I handle most household chores and won't be able to continue to...

My husband and I talked about this. I gave him a number of suggestions that I'll mention down below.

(1) asking my mom to move in with us to help, but he refused.

(2) getting a nurse/maid to help me out;/take care of the house, but he refused.

(3) having him take time off work to stay home with me, but he complained about having to focus on work.

(4) finally, getting someone from his family or my friends to stay with us but he refused and said it'd make him look like he's "useless".

We had an argument after he declined all previous options and insisted that I "just try and do my best and will manage just fine"

meaning he expected me to go through treatment while still cleaning/cooking and also with no help whatsoever.

He swore that if I go ahead with any of those options then he won't speak to me for a whole year.

I've decided to just go stay with my mom (2hr drive from home) temporarily until I finish treatment and that was my final decision.

Once he found out he started calling me panicing and arguing saying I had no right to make this kind of decision with his input.

Went on about how he, and the house are a mess and urged me to return. I stopped arguing

but he kept begging me to return and went on and on about how he, and the house are empty and cold without my presence.

His mom got involved and shamed me for "turning her son's routine upside down and messing with his work schedule"

and told me to basically suck it up because she was in my shoes and managed just fine with 4 kids on top of that...

so I'm "clearly" just acting spoiled and immature. Now he doesn't call or even responds, AITA here?

The core conflict here boils down to mismatched priorities: The wife needed hands-on support during delicate treatment, suggesting reasonable options like family help or professional aid. Her husband, however, prioritized his work routine and image, rejecting all ideas and expecting her to power through solo.

From one angle, his resistance might stem from denial or overwhelm. Admitting help could feel like failing as a provider. On the flip side, her choice to stay with mom protected her recovery but disrupted their shared life, sparking his panic and his mother’s criticism.

Motivations often hide in plain sight: Pride as in not wanting to “look useless”, fear of change, or even unaddressed stress can drive these standoffs. Yet dismissing a partner’s medical needs risks eroding trust, turning “we” into “me vs. you.”

Broadening out, chronic illness tests marriages everywhere. According to the CDC, approximately one in five U.S. adults provides care to a family member with a health condition or disability, highlighting how common spousal support becomes. Caregiving strain links to higher rates of depression and chronic conditions among supporters themselves.

Relationship expert Wayne M. Sotile, Ph.D., founder of the Healthy Exercise and Lifestyles Program at Wake Forest University, captures the ongoing reality perfectly: “Coping with this illness will be part of your marriage from now on.”

This underscores how health challenges don’t just visit, they move in, reshaping routines, roles, and resilience. In the Redditor’s case, the husband’s resistance to adjustments highlighted a clash between protecting his comfort and embracing shared support, while the wife’s move to her mom’s reflected a necessary pivot toward healing.

Applied here, the husband’s initial refusal contrasted sharply with that ideal of partnership through adversity, while the wife’s self-advocacy showed strength in refusing to let illness isolate her further.

Neutral ground offers hope: Open chats about fears, counseling for communication, or compromises like part-time help could bridge gaps. Prioritizing health benefits everyone. After all, a stronger partner means a stronger team.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some people strongly recommend blocking the MIL and staying permanently with OP’s mom due to the husband’s selfishness.

Clare_schmare − NTA - Block your MIL. Her input is unnecessary and stupid.

Consider staying with your mom for the long term because your husband does not sound like a good person at all.

You have every right to make that kind of decision about your own health since he obviously does not give a crap about your health.

If he calls to harass you again, remind him of his statement to not speak to you for a whole year.

curly_lox − Your sick and need help, but he refused for you to get that help? It stay at my mom's, too.

He and his mother can die mad about it. They may be some of the most selfish people I've heard of.

misslo718 − NTA. It would be a wise move to consider staying at your mothers and not going back. This guy wants a maid not a partner

Some people urge divorce, viewing the husband as abusive, controlling, and uncaring about OP’s health.

earazahs − NTA, file for divorce and tell him to not worry about the year you'll take a lifetime.

KimWexlers_Ponytail − Gross. NTA. He just does not want any responsibility.

Focus on your health, OP, and also focus on not being with this selfish a__hole anymore. How is he not dropping everything to help you?

[Reddit User] − I was going to say him not talking to you for a year was a problem that solved itself, but clearly that just means "will harass you...

This man is abusive, controlling, and doesn't care about you even a tiny little bit.

He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. He doesn't care about your healthy.

Stay with your mom, change your number, and file for divorce before he gets you pregnant. NTA unless you stay.

Badger-of-Horrors − You are married to an abusive person. Saying he won't speak to you for a year if you do... WHAT YOU MEDICALLY REQUIRE to recover?!

He won't agree to even the slightest thing that would help you recover and then sends his MOMMY to attack you?

Seriously consider divorce because he will escalate for you "making him look bad". NTA

Others criticize the husband for failing marriage vows and prioritizing his routine over OP’s life.

cakeiam − NTA. Did he even read his marriage vows? I doubt it cause he's completely failing the "in sickness and in health" part.

Go to you mom but think really hard about going back after. You deserve better.

Megmca − saying I had no right to make this kind of decision without his input.

You got his input. His input was to protect his routine over your life. NTA

[Reddit User] − I beg to differ with your MIL. She did not manage just fine with raising at least one of those kids. NTA

This story spotlights the tough balance between personal well-being and partnership duties when one spouse’s health crumbles, does the other’s comfort zone trump recovery? The Redditor’s move to mom’s prioritized healing amid resistance, but it unleashed family fireworks and radio silence.

Do you think her temporary escape was a smart boundary or an escalation? Would you expect a partner to bend routines for your care, or tough it out like the mother-in-law suggested? How do you navigate “in sickness and in health” without losing yourself? Drop your thoughts, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 6/6 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/6 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/6 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/6 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/6 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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