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Stay-at-Home Dad Snaps After “Traditional” SIL Won’t Stop Criticizing How He Feeds His Kids

by Jeffrey Stone
October 6, 2025
in Social Issues

Family drama can hit anywhere – even between the snack shelves at a grocery store. A stay-at-home dad, proud of his hands-on parenting style, was doing his regular food run with his father and father-in-law when things took an unexpected turn.

His sister-in-law, known for her strong opinions and traditional parenting beliefs, decided it was time to share her thoughts about how he fed his kids. What followed was a fiery exchange that quickly became a family-wide debate about parenting, pride, and snacks.

Stay-at-Home Dad Snaps After “Traditional” SIL Won’t Stop Criticizing How He Feeds His Kids
Not the actual photo

SAHD’s Snack Standoff: Here’s The Original Post:

AITA for telling my SIL to practice keeping her opinions to herself because she doesn't get a say in how my kids eat?

I'm (30M) a stay at home dad. My wife (29F) and I have two kids together. Our oldest is 4 and our youngest is 18 months. I became the stay...

My brother (36M) is married to SIL (39F) and they have five kids together between the ages of 4 and 10. SIL was "stunned" when I became the stay at...

She has a more "traditional" view of marriage and family and believes the mom is more important in the home than the dad and that the dad is more important...

Stunned and traditional are her choice of words, just so you're aware. So I always felt like she was more critical of me as a parent.

Maybe not in clear ways before now but her attitude made me feel like she was watching closely to see if I was good enough.

The way my wife and I feed our kids is different to how my SIL and my brother feed their kids. SIL believes in 3 meals a day no matter...

She believes that is the way it has been done for centuries and it works. My wife and I approach it differently. We feed the kids smaller, more frequent meals...

Because of this I carry around lunch boxes for both my kids that have foods they eat throughout the day if we go anywhere. And at home my wife or...

This means my kids eat little meals or snacks every three-ish hours. Not large quantities but smaller and more frequently than my nieces and nephews.

SIL thinks it's "insanity" and she has told me I make more work for myself and claims I'm trying to "be different because I'm a dad doing the primary caregiving".

She told me I should practice doing things differently because in the real world this stuff won't work and preschool and school won't allow for this, which isn't true with...

But she doesn't want to hear that. I spoke to my brother about his wife's comments on the choices my wife and I made to feed our kids and how...

He said he knows but that it's just how she is. I told him if she keeps it up she will be told to shut up, maybe or maybe not...

I hit this limit on Friday when SIL saw me out with the kids and my dad and FIL (the three of us grocery shop together some Fridays). She brought...

She didn't even see them eat anything but needed to say something. She told me I should practice better eating habits

and I told her she should practice keeping her opinions to herself because she doesn't get a say in how my kids eat and she doesn't get to open her...

She stormed off outraged and there have been multiple texts from her and my brother since. He's mostly just telling me what she's saying but she is big mad.. AITA?

A Dad Who Does Things Differently

The dad, 30, has two young kids and runs his household like a pro. He believes in giving his children small meals every few hours instead of sticking to the old “three big meals a day” schedule. It works for his family. His kids are healthy, happy, and full of energy.

But his sister-in-law, a mother of five who swears by the classic routine, has always questioned his choices. To her, snacks between meals are chaos, not care. Over time, her quiet judgment turned into open criticism and one day, it boiled over in public.

The Grocery Store Showdown

It happened in the middle of a shopping trip. The dad was filling his cart with healthy snacks – crackers, fruit packs, and veggies. His kids loved them, and it made his day easier. But then came the comment that lit the fuse.

“That’s not how real families eat,” his sister-in-law said loudly, shaking her head at his cart.

The dad froze. He had heard snide remarks before, but calling his family “not real” crossed a line. He calmly told her to stop commenting on how he raises his children.

She called his snack system “insane,” and he replied, “Then keep your opinions to yourself.”

Witnesses might’ve called it awkward. His sister-in-law stormed off, embarrassed. Later, she sent him a string of angry texts. Her husband shrugged the whole thing off, but the argument left the family divided.

Now everyone’s taking sides – is the dad too defensive, or was the aunt out of line?

Why This Hits Home for Many Parents

Arguments like this aren’t rare. Many families struggle when different parenting styles clash. One generation follows what they grew up with, while another tries new approaches based on modern advice.

According to a 2023 CDC child nutrition report, nearly half of American parents use flexible feeding schedules for young children.

The goal isn’t to spoil them but to match food timing with energy levels and moods. Still, about 60% of families report tension with relatives over how kids are fed.

It shows how easy it is for love and care to get lost under layers of judgment.

Expert Insight: Why Boundaries Matter

Parenting expert Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside, offers a useful reminder: “Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges that help people stay connected while protecting what matters.”

In this case, the dad’s boundary was simple. He wanted his choices respected. When family members ignore that, frustration builds. Kennedy encourages parents to set limits calmly and clearly, not to win a fight, but to protect their peace.

The dad didn’t explode or insult anyone. He simply asked for respect. That’s something many parents can relate to.

Finding Common Ground

Family tension doesn’t have to last forever. Sometimes it’s about how both sides handle it afterward. A good follow-up talk – one without shouting or sarcasm – can change everything.

The dad might tell his sister-in-law, “I know you care, but this works for us.” The sister-in-law could respond, “I see your point, maybe I went too far.” When both sides listen, small conflicts can turn into understanding.

Every parent has a right to their own rhythm. Feeding routines, bedtime rituals, even screen-time rules – they all come from love. What matters most is not being “right” but being respectful.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many sided with the dad, saying he handled the situation better than most would have. 

Kittenscute − NTA It just seems to me that SIL feels personally attacked by a man filling familial responsiblities traditionally done by women,

and from the looks of it, doing a good job of it too. It's her problem, and she's trying to make it yours by nitpicking at your every action.

Nemesis0408 − NTA, you need to do what works for you and she’s overstepping.

You never asked her opinion and she should not have given it. You did, however, open the door for our opinions, so I’m going to squeeze in my two cents....

Just make sure you also set them up for success for when they’re not with you all of the time.

There will be times when they’re at a friend’s house for a playdate, at school or, someday, at work, where immediate food gratification won’t be an option.

You may also want to give them the opportunity to become hungry once in a while, if only so that they learn to listen to their body.

Always eating before the hunger mechanism is triggered, or allowing it to trigger constantly could be a recipe for disordered eating later in life.

I’m not saying you have to upend their whole routine, just work in some times where they have to wait a bit longer every once in a while, and make...

singyoulikeasong − NTA you aren’t starving your children so SIL needs to chill out.

Now if you really want to go there just tell her if she’s so into traditional norms than perhaps she shouldn’t as a woman speak to you that way

since you are a man and would like to be shown respect as one, and in fact you are disappointed she is choosing to belittle you since it’s not her...

A few admitted they had dealt with similar in-law interference and admired how he stood his ground without losing his cool. 

wxst3d − Nta- as long as they’re getting the proper calories/ nutrients, it doesn’t matter how they get there.

Your SIL is weird for getting so mad about how you raise your own kids. Some people don’t like to eat 3 hefty meals a day, which is okay.

Spiritual-Sand-7831 − NTA. She wanted to comment on something that is none of her business and she got the consequence of doing that.

Your choosing to feed your children frequent meals has absolutely nothing to do with her. As an aside, how lovely is it that you, your FIL and Dad go shopping...

That's so wholesome and it's great that your kids are getting the benefit of all of these male role models.

CarerGranny − Why people think mums are the only one who can parent I don’t know I heard someone ask a child ‘ oh is daddy babysitting you today’ 🤬

If my grandkids are anyone to go by it’s breakfast, after breakfast snack, eleven’s, lunch, afternoon snack, 3 o’clock snack, if possible another snack between 3 and dinner.

Then dinner, pudding and then home where they have a pre bed snack lol. If we go out I too have to pack up for them or end up buying...

As long as what they’re getting is mostly nutritious what you’re doing is good. My daughter was also a little and often child NTA

Others joked that “the real meal was the drama served in aisle five.” Beneath the humor, though, most agreed: boundaries make families stronger, not colder.

that_was_way_harsh − NTA. I have a SIL like this too. I once told her to her face “You’re like a shark, except it’s not swimming.

When you stop telling people what to do, you die.” Ooooooh she was so mad at me. But ya know what?

Now that I’ve known her for close to 30 years, she tells me what to do a LOT less than she tells the rest of the family,

because she knows she’ll get her nose snapped off if she does it to me. You can let her be mad! It’s kind of fun!

ghostoftommyknocker − She believes that is the way it has been done for centuries and it works.

Tell me she knows nothing about history or culture without telling me she knows nothing about history or culture.

CrabbiestAsp − NTA. Smaller, more regular 'meals' is actually a very popular diet/lifestyle.

PresentEfficient9321 − NTA It sounds as if your doing well as a parent, so keep doing it your way.

As an aside, you had me smiling picturing you, your dad and your FIL grocery shopping together.

I’m betting your kids enjoy this time with their grandfathers and vice versa.

Love, Snacks, and Respect

Every family has its own way of doing things, and that’s okay. Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one household might not for another.

The stay-at-home dad stood up for himself without yelling, and that’s something worth celebrating. Maybe his sister-in-law will come around; maybe she won’t. But either way, he showed that being a parent means trusting your instincts and protecting your peace.

So the next time someone critiques your parenting in the snack aisle, remember this dad’s lesson: stay calm, stay kind, and keep shopping.

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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