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Ex-Fiancé Demands The Family Heirloom Ring Back, Is She Being Entitled For Refusing?

by Leona Pham
November 8, 2025
in Social Issues

When an ex-fiancé wants his engagement ring back after a breakup, the situation can get messy, especially when a woman continues to wear the ring.

One Redditor did just that, using the ring to avoid attention and wearing it to an engagement party where her ex and his girlfriend were present. The family thought it was strange, with his sister revealing that the ex had told them the ring was “lost.”

Her ex then demanded the ring back, but the Redditor refuses to return it, explaining that he had the chance to take it back years ago when they broke up. Is she being unreasonable, or is she within her rights to keep the ring? Keep reading to see how this story unfolds.

After her breakup, a woman continued wearing her engagement ring, leading to tension when her ex demanded it back

Ex-Fiancé Demands The Family Heirloom Ring Back, Is She Being Entitled For Refusing?
not the actual photo

'AITA for continuing to wear the engagement ring my ex-fiancé gave me and refusing to give it back?'

I still have the ring my ex proposed with and sometimes if I don’t want to be approached, I’ll wear it as it helps a lot.

My ex has seen me wear it before and has never said anything about it.

I wore the ring at an engagement party that my ex, his girlfriend and his family also attended.

His sister noticed the ring and she said my ex had told the family that the ring had been lost

and that’s why he never got it back from me once we broke up.

She said this in front of his girlfriend who said it was creepy and inappropriate that I was wearing my old engagement ring.

I told her it was pretty and walked away since I could see she was angry about it and I didn’t want to argue with her.

Later on, my ex asked me if he could talk to me privately.

The conversation was pretty much him being angry at me for wearing the ring in front of his family

because now they wanted him to get it back from me as the ring was made with family diamonds

and me refusing to give it to him unless he bought it from me since he had the chance to take it back when we broke up 3 years ago....

The original poster (OP) has continued to wear the engagement ring from her ex-fiance, which raises a number of questions surrounding closure, ownership, and respect for new relationships.

From OP’s perspective, the ring is a piece of her past that still holds sentimental value, and she might not see it as a symbol of attachment to her ex but rather a memory of a different time.

In certain circumstances, wearing an item with personal significance, especially when it’s tied to a past relationship, can be a way of holding onto something familiar or comforting. It seems that OP’s actions were not driven by malice or a desire to provoke; rather, she used the ring as a shield, perhaps to avoid unwanted attention.

It’s also notable that OP had worn the ring before without her ex objecting, which could suggest that she thought the item no longer held emotional significance for him.

However, the emotions and expectations of those around OP, particularly her ex and his girlfriend, seem to have complicated things. Her ex’s reaction, and the subsequent discomfort of his family, indicate that there is still some unresolved tension surrounding their breakup.

The fact that OP’s ex told his family the ring was lost adds another layer of complexity. If he had wanted it back, why didn’t he ask for it earlier? It seems there is some lingering bitterness or confusion around the breakup, which may explain why the ex now feels entitled to the ring.

As relationship expert Dr. Jennifer Finney, a counselor specializing in breakups and healing, explains, “The remnants of a past relationship, especially symbols like engagement rings, can carry emotional weight for both parties involved. When one person moves on, they may see those physical symbols as unnecessary reminders of the past, while the other may not be ready to part with them.”

This captures the emotional divide between OP and her ex. While OP may feel justified in keeping the ring, her ex sees it as a relic of an old relationship that might interfere with his new one. His girlfriend’s discomfort also speaks to the tensions between honoring past commitments and respecting new boundaries in a relationship.

Ultimately, this situation isn’t just about the ring itself. It’s about the unresolved emotional issues tied to the breakup and the boundaries that each person must navigate in the aftermath.

OP’s decision to keep the ring could be seen as a form of emotional independence, but to her ex, it may feel like an unnecessary attachment that hampers his ability to fully move on.

Is OP justified in wearing the ring, or should she have considered how it might affect her ex and his new partner? What are the emotional consequences of holding on to items from past relationships, and how can people navigate these situations with empathy and understanding?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This group criticized the OP for wearing the engagement ring at an event with her ex’s family

CogentHawk − YTA Legal implications aside, the Non AH thing to do would be to give the ring back when you break up.

He seemed nice enough to lie for you and cover, which you blew, either knowingly or unknowingly (info needed) but regardless, now everyone knows.

It was made with family heirlooms which obviously mean a lot to his family since they’ve asked about it.

Now that he’s asked for it back, the nice thing to do would be to give it back.

Considering you’re ok with SELLING it back knowing what it is (an heirloom) instead of giving, have to go with a strong YTA on this one.

jacksonlove3 − Yes YTA. Why would you think it was a good idea to wear it to a party you knew him and his family would be at?

Also knowing that the ring was made with family diamonds and that his family would want it back?

Sure you didn’t do it out of spite and pettiness? Cause that’s how it’s coming off.

sorryabtlastnight − Engagement parties aren’t usually hot pick up spots, so I don’t see how your excuse even applies to this event.

But even if it did, YTA. Why would you even want to be wearing your ex’s family diamonds on your finger all the time?

You’re being disrespectful and petty.

chattymaquette − You wore the engagement ring your ex gave you in front of his current gf and family.

I can’t believe anyone would be so clueless they wouldn’t even think about leaving the ring at home for once.

What you did seems on purpose and your response to them made it worse. YTA.

These commenters agreed that the OP should return the ring

Samael13 − YTA - I mean, come on; it's a ring made with family heirloom diamonds and you're refusing to give it back unless he *buys it from you.

The fact that you're still in each others' lives and that you're at a party with his family suggests that

the breakup wasn't some kind of traumatic "he murdered my puppy" or "I caught him in bed with my sister" situation,

so give the damn ring back and move on.

You can wear any ring to pretend to be engaged, it doesn't have to be the one that has his family's diamonds in it.

Effective-Being-849 − YTA. An engagement ring is not a gift, it's a promise to wed. The promise was not fulfilled.

Regardless of family heirloom you should have returned the ring when the relationship ended.

-QueefLatina- − YTA. 1) When an engagement is broken off, the ring usually goes back to the proposer.

2) This ring has stones that are ostensibly meant to stay within his family.

3) You’re trying to make him buy the ring back from you! I cannot even grasp how crazy entitled that is.

ToasterGuacamoleWrap − YTA. It *does* seem kind of creepy and inappropriate for you to still be wearing the ring.

You guys are not engaged anymore. He’s moved on. Presumably you have too.

Give him the ring back and get a cheap fake one for when you don’t want to be approached. Also it’s an heirloom ring. Don’t be s__tty about that.

Giving it back is the right thing to do.

 

This group pointed out the OP’s inconsistency in refusing to return the ring

Whole-Football2395 − I have a feeling your not telling the truth. I bet there’s more to the story.

You probably refused to give the ring back. Also, when you saw your ex, his girlfriend, and his family, why didn’t you take it off?

I think you kept it on to be petty and upset his girlfriend. YTA

bsmorley − YTA An engagement ring is given with the expectation of marriage.

You should really consider returning the ring and, as another comment suggested, perhaps buy a cheap fake ring if you want to be left alone.

Especially considering the ring is a family heirloom, it should stay in his family.

[Reddit User] − YTA for not only stealing a family heirloom but then getting mad when his family was upset about it

and acting like it was his family's fault that they were upset despite him not pushing the issue of you keeping it in the first place.

Also why the hell are you having this much contact with your Ex's family in the first place.

Do you think OP should have given the ring back sooner, or is she right to hold on to it? How would you have handled this situation? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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