When friendship starts to feel one-sided, sometimes the wake-up call comes wrapped in wedding invitations, or rather, the lack of one.
After years of celebrating birthdays, holidays, and even planning her best friend’s engagement party, one woman discovered she wasn’t invited to the wedding. Not the bachelorette, not even the birthday trip afterward.
Then, out of nowhere, the husband messaged asking her to organize his wife’s next birthday because “you’re the best at it.” Her response? Scroll down to check out!
A woman who had once been part of her friend Jane’s inner circle was suddenly cut off after Jane’s wedding plans took shape
Psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonior, author of Detox Your Thoughts, explains that “emotional labor in friendships often becomes invisible until one person stops doing it.”
When one friend constantly initiates contact, plans gatherings, and supports milestones while the other takes without giving, the relationship becomes imbalanced and unsustainable. (Psychology Today)
In this case, the imbalance is glaring. Research from the University of Oxford on friendship maintenance found that strong friendships require mutual investment, shared time, emotional openness, and effort from both sides. When that stops, the connection naturally fades, no matter how much history there is.
There’s also a deeper emotional betrayal here. As Dr. Marisa Franco, author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends, notes, “Exclusion in close friendships feels similar to romantic rejection. It triggers the same neural pain centers in the brain.”
Being left out of such a major life event like a wedding sends a powerful subconscious message: You don’t matter anymore.
The groom’s “we had limited space” excuse rings hollow for a 200-guest event. What he really meant was: We didn’t value your presence, just your effort. That’s emotional exploitation, not friendship.
The healthiest response, experts suggest, is what psychologists call “boundary disengagement.” Instead of exploding or seeking closure, you simply withdraw your time and energy from people who no longer reciprocate.
As Dr. Bonior puts it, “You don’t owe access to anyone who’s proven they don’t value it.”
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit users nailed the core issue, Jane and her husband didn’t want her there for the celebration, just for her skills
Some called out the transactional nature of the relationship, noting they only resurfaced when they needed something
This group speculated that the husband might be controlling or filtering communication from Jane, cutting the original poster out intentionally
One pointed out the obvious
Several users cheekily advised her to send a quote for her “event planning services”
Would you have planned the party anyway, just to stay “civil”? Or do you agree that some bridges deserve to burn when they’re built on fake friendship? Drop your thoughts below because this one hit a nerve for anyone who’s ever given more than they got.
