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Husband Hating His Own Family Name Wants To Force It On Incoming Son To Avoid Family Talk

by Jeffrey Stone
December 15, 2025
in Social Issues

An expectant mother’s excitement turned to shock when her husband, who’d legally shed the multi-generational family name he despised years ago, abruptly insisted on passing that exact burden to their unborn boy, all to dodge upsetting his relatives.

He’d escaped “Andrew George,” a tag recycled through grandpas, uncles and cousins, by becoming Sunny. Yet now, with the first grandchild en route and family expectations mounting, he’s backpedaling hard, leaving her stunned and digging in her heels by urging him to finally reveal his secret name change.

A pregnant woman faces her husband’s sudden push to use his disliked family name for their son.

Husband Hating His Own Family Name Wants To Force It On Incoming Son To Avoid Family Talk
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my husband to be honest with his family about his name before he forces a name on our son that none of us want him to have?'

So my husband's family have a male name that gets passed down through the generations; it's Andrew George.

My husband was given that name at birth, so were three of his male cousins, his dad and five of his dad's cousins,

then his grandpa and two of his grandpa's cousins, his great uncle and cousins, then great great grandpa is how far we know it goes back for sure.

My husband never liked his original name. He got the nickname of Sunshine in middle school

and when he started college he started going by Sunny and then legally changed his name after graduation to Sunny and a middle name he chose for himself.

But he never told his family about the name change and they call him Andrew and some of his siblings call him Drewey.

When we met my husband was already going by Sunny and we talked about the family name,

the fact he didn't want to pass it on, the fact I also didn't like passing down family names as first names and we had agreed to giving our kids...

We also both had a thing for more unisex names and before I was even pregnant we had two boy names and two girl names chosen with an order to...

Now we're pregnant and we're having a boy and my husband has decided he doesn't want to upset his family and he feels we should use the family name for...

I told him we'd agreed not to use it and he was putting me in a position to give a name I don't like to our kid.

My husband said we could call him something else. My response to that was he wanted to deny me a say in the name and let me give our kid...

He told me his family would be pissed if we passed up on this especially as our son will be the first grandchild.

I asked him if his family's feelings and opinions were more important than mine and he said no without any hesitation or doubt.

But he asked me to do this one thing for him. I told him he should try being honest with his family before forcing a name on our son that...

He told me I didn't understand and I told him I did, but how could I trust him if he decided to flip that switch so hard that he's willing...

He told me I wasn't being fair bringing up his name change and I told him he was the one not being fair expecting me to name my child in...

The husband hates the family name so much that he legally ditched it, yet he’s hesitant to break the chain for their son, fearing backlash. At its core, what we are witnessing is a classic push-pull: honoring roots versus embracing personal freedom.

From one angle, traditions like passing down names can foster a sense of belonging and continuity. Psychologist Frank T. McAndrew explains that namesaking, or the naming of a child after a parent or other person, usually a relative, is one of the most enduring of human traditions.

Simply put, it is employed as an adaptive strategy for advertising personal and group identity, for optimally positioning a child within the historical and political framework of the kinship group, and for bonding fathers more strongly to their children. It is more common for boys, with patrilineal patterns prevailing.

Yet, the flip side shines here brightly. The husband himself rejected the name, highlighting how forcing it could burden the child with something unwanted.

Modern parenting trends lean toward individuality, as a survey by YouGov found that while 27% of Americans say their first name comes from a family member, many prioritize names chosen because their parents liked the sound of it (30%), favoring unique identities over rigid customs.

Licensed mental health counselor Emma Giordano emphasizes boundaries in such pressures: “both partners must agree on a baby’s name (not grandparents).” The agreement should be between the couple. No one else should feel obligated. It’s the parents’ call, not extended family’s.

Ultimately, advice boils down to communication and mutual respect. Couples thrive when both voices are heard equally, perhaps revisiting pre-pregnancy agreements or seeking counseling if tensions run high.

What works for one family might not for another, but prioritizing the child’s well-being (and the parents’ unity) invites healthier dynamics all around.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people declare NTA and suggest protective measures like controlling hospital paperwork or cleverly naming the child Sunny to force the truth out.

WaywardMarauder − NTA and when you give birth make sure the hospital staff know not to allow your husband to fill out the paperwork.

MelG146 − Name your child Sunny, then when the s__t hits the fan you can innocently announce that you HAVE named your son after his father.

Then your chicken-s__t husband can find his balls, be an adult, and stand up for himself. Also, don't name your son Andrew George.

armywifemumof5 − Tell him if he forces the issue you’ll change your mind as to what surname the baby has…

Some people call NTA and emphasize the husband’s hypocrisy for hating the name himself yet wanting to impose it on his son.

ritan7471 − "and then legally changed his name after graduation to Sunny and a middle name he chose for himself."

Tell him that you will not name your child a name he was so desperate to get rid of that he secretly changed it legally.

Tell him that he MIGHT have a point if he legally changed his name back to Andrew George but even if he did, you had an agreement.

If he persists or tries to force you to name your son something neither of you wants YOU will tell them it's not happening because your husband hates it so...

This is a hill worth dying on. He wants you to give your son a name he himself hates

because he can't bear yo have an uncomfortable conversation. That is all kinds of messed up.

RoyallyOakie − NTA... he didn't like being stuck with the name himself, but wants you to do the same with your son, just so he can avoid an awkward conversation.

He agreed that you wouldn't have to use the name. He needs to tell his parents. He needs to do this one thing for you and his son.

SuperbApplePie − NTA. Call him Andrew George every time you speak to him.

I bet he doesn’t like it… how can he even think about giving his son a name that he hates so much that he himself legally changed it.

Some people criticize the husband for extreme avoidance and lacking the spine to tell his parents the truth.

Spare-Article-396 − NTA I think it says everything you need to know that he changed his own name and still hasn’t told his parents.

That is a super high level of avoidance. Like, what happens if God forbid something happen to the two of you,

and his parents get notified of ‘Sunny’ whatever, and they’re like ‘we don’t know that person’. If he didn’t do it for himself, he won’t do it for his kid.

You literally said he’s ‘afraid’, which is concerning what is he afraid of? And he didn’t want the name but will foist it onto your kid?

Okayish_Elderberry − This is one of the dumbest traditions. And the man didn't want that name himself, he has to grow a pair

and stand up to this dumbness, and if the family can't handle it or sees it as disrespect, s__ew 'em.

thumpmyponcho − So his family will give you grief over naming your child something else?

And your husband wants to appease these AHs at the expense of you, and of his own child?

He needs to grow some backbone ASAP if he wants to be a father. NTA.

A user mocks the absurd tradition and the husband’s cowardice in maintaining the secret.

[Reddit User] − Did his great great grandfather lose a bet and now all males have to be named “Andrew George” in perpetuity?

This naming saga wraps up with a reminder that traditions are meaningful, but so is starting fresh, especially when one partner lived the downside firsthand. Do you think the Redditor’s push for honesty is spot-on, or should compromises smooth things over for family harmony?

Would you stick to your guns on a pre-agreed name, or bend a little for the greater good? How far would you go to avoid rocking the family boat? Share your hot takes below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 40/41 votes | 98%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/41 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/41 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 1/41 votes | 2%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/41 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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