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Girlfriend Ditches Depressed Boyfriend Upon Six Months Of Grief Over Parents’ Tragic Death

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Tragedy hit a young couple like a wrecking ball, leaving one partner crushed by grief after losing both parents. The other turned into a full-time cheerleader. But six months of playing superhero took its toll, with romance fading faster than a sunset.

In a tear-soaked breakup, they end a relationship that felt more like parenting. Family’s split – parents gave a thumbs-up, but a sibling called it ice-cold. Reddit’s abuzz: when’s it okay to save yourself first?

The spark was gone, replaced by a caregiver’s burden heavier than a Monday morning.

Girlfriend Ditches Depressed Boyfriend Upon Six Months Of Grief Over Parents' Tragic Death
Not the actual photo.

'AITA For Dumping My Boyfriend Who's Been Depressed For 6 Months?'

My BF's parents passed away in an accident about 6 months ago, he was their only son and obviously this was extremely devastating for him to put it lightly.

Me and my family supported him heavily and he took an extended leave of absence from work which he's still on.

We are both 22 and been together for 3 years now, he obviously was extremely depressed and crying all day for months.

I tried my best to always be there for him and I moved in with him for a few months to help him out.

I also got him set up with a therapist and he's been seeing her frequently, the thing is progress is very slow.

We haven't been on a date since the accident, s__ life is almost non-existent because he can't stay hard and he's crying a lot still and is depressed most of...

He works out still and we go on runs together but other than that he's curled up in bed watching netflix and crying/eating.

I'm trying to help so much, I look after him like he's my son basically now and its super emotionally/physically draining.

The only s__ual contact I've had with him is going down on him and him finishing quick and rolling over and sleeping.

I get that he' extremely depressed still about his parents deaths and I try and cheer him up daily and check in on him,

make sure he's seeing his therapist, come over to his place almost daily. And I just feel like a caregiver now and not his GF.

With all this in mind and weeks of thinking about how to end things, I did last night.

I went over to his place and said I can't be with him like this, I need to feel loved and taken care of as well which hasn't happened at...

and I feel burnt out. I've never seen a 22 yr old man cry this much but he started crying so much he puked and begged me to stay but...

I told him that I'll be here for him still and he's always welcome to come to me or my parents for help but I just can't be in a...

It was extremely difficult to do and I still do love him, but I just know I can't take this for much longer and will end up hating him.

I know this sounds cold but its the only way I could have done this. I feel terrible but needed to do what is best for my happiness,

I made sure he had his therapist appts set for another few months and told him to discuss this with her.  He just sat there motionless and I left.

When I got home, my parents supported my decision but my sister, who's 2 years older thought I was the devil

and said that was the biggest a__hole move she's ever heard of. I mean I know it was cold but I couldn't do this anymore.. AITA?

Whew, talk about a plot twist that tugs at the heartstrings. Meeting tragedy head-on in a relationship can feel like starring in your own dramatic rom-com, minus the happy ending credits.

The Redditor’s story highlights the raw reality of grief’s grip: one partner’s world implodes with the sudden loss of both parents, sparking a depression so deep it reshapes daily life.

From constant tears to halted intimacy and a shift to caregiver mode, the OP poured everything into support – setting up therapy, checking in daily, even joining workouts for morale boosts.

Yet, progress crawled at a snail’s pace, leaving them burnt out and yearning for reciprocity after half a year of one-way emotional labor.

On one side, empathy reigns supreme. Losing parents at such a young age is a seismic shock, and six months barely scratches the surface of healing.

After all, grief isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon with unexpected hurdles. But flip the coin, and self-care emerges as a valid hero.

Staying in a draining dynamic risks resentment bubbling over, turning love sour.

The OP’s decision to pivot to friendship while ensuring therapy continuity shows maturity, preventing a total fallout. It’s a reminder that relationships thrive on mutual give-and-take, even in tough times.

Broadening out, this taps into the wider issue of caregiver burnout in partnerships, where one person’s crisis can eclipse the other’s well-being.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, caregiver burnout affects millions, manifesting as fatigue, anxiety, and depression when support becomes unsustainable.

Statistics show that up to 40% of caregivers experience significant emotional strain. In grief scenarios, this imbalance is common, as the bereaved navigate waves of sorrow while partners juggle their own limits.

As neuroscientist Mary-Frances O’Connor explains in her book The Grieving Brain, “Grief is a heart-wrenchingly painful problem for the brain to solve, and grieving necessitates learning to live in the world with the absence of someone you love deeply, but whom you will never see again”.

This insight underscores why the boyfriend’s slow progress is normal -brains literally rewire after loss – but it also validates the OP’s boundary-setting. O’Connor’s work highlights that while support is crucial, forcing a romantic frame on intense grief can hinder both parties’ healing.

Ultimately, neutral paths forward include open chats about needs before big decisions, seeking couple’s counseling, or leaning on external networks like friends and professionals.

Reddit’s popping off, and it’s got more flavor than a family reunion potluck!

Here’s how people reacted to the post

A notable number of users think breaking up is fair to protect OP’s mental health, but continue supporting the ex-boyfriend as a friend.

MMayonnaise − NAH, you need to look after yourself as well. It is not like you haven't supported him through it all,

you clearly showed you cared about him, made sure to look after him and support him,

but at a certain point you also have to start thinking about yourself and what is best for you.

If you are afraid you will end up hating him or simply cannot support him while being his girlfriend anymore, it is totally fair to break up with him. You...

Edit: Since I noticed quite a lot of people saying YTA I figured I'd explain my answer a bit more.

I understand that this must be incredibly hard on him and that he is going through hell right now,

but I am afraid the OP might be dragged down into his (what sounds like a) depression as well.

I do not think it is fair to stay in a relationship with someone when it is making you unhappy or stressed.

If it is all too much, it is fair to break things off with someone. I hope you will continue to support him though, not as a partner,

but as a friend because it sounds like he really needs one right now. Your tone was condescending, but I am just going to assume that was not your intention.

[Reddit User] − NAH. I think you handled this in the best way you could. You have no obligation to be anyone's caretaker

and you can leave a relationship for any reason or no reason at all. Your sister is being too harsh and failing to see your side of this.

You should not feel obligated to burn yourself out and neglect your own mental health (as well as physical and emotional needs).

TheGamerTrainer − NAH, this is a hard pill to swallow but you aren't responsible for his happiness, you did all you can really do for him.

He needs to work on himself also and go to his therapist. Depression is a bad thing and it is had to deal with, however you cant be expected to...

Edit: looking at other comment, I didn't mean to imply the boyfriend was TA and reading the post again Ill change to NAH.

lavasca − NAH You are not a trained mental healthcare provider. You’re also a young person.

I say this as someone who has been in a position very similar to your ex-boyfriend’s.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s like that for another few years or rather doesn’t show significant recovery for another couple years.

If you're in a similar spot, prioritize honest dialogue and self-compassion. It's okay to redefine roles without abandoning ship.

What do you think: Is stepping back a smart move or a hasty retreat?

Others blame OP for abandoning partner after six months, expecting quick recovery from profound grief.

Bryleigh98 − YTA. It's been SIX MONTHS since his PARENTS DIED. Of course he's still going to be in the throws of depression.

It hasn't even been a year since one of the most traumatic things possible happened to him.

How selfish can you be to sit there and see a man you "love" broken and think what am I getting here.

If this was 3 years after the experience it might be a different story. But it's been six months man. YTA.

leelougirl89 − YTA. I mourned my Dad for 11 months after he died. I cried so hard some nights I sounded like a dying animal.

I talked to my bedroom walls and sang to the ceiling. And he was sick for a long time, too, so I knew it was coming.

BOTH his healthy parents died in an accident overnight and you're like, "This is too hard, I'm out. Sorry." Now he's grieving the loss of his parents and his partner,...

Does he have anyone left? No siblings, even. He's all alone. Would you have left him if you were married to him?

Isn't that the point of a long-term relationship? To build a solid foundation for marriage?

Yet, after 6 months of him grieving the loss of, really, his entire immediate family, you decide to leave.

I'm assuming you'll leave your future husband, too, then. When HIS parents die, you can do what you think is right.

I just hope when you grieve the loss of your parents, and you mourn for a year (which is perfectly normal), your husband doesn't walk out on you.

EDIT: PSA MESSAGE FOR ALL YOU OUT THERE: DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE WITHOUT HAVING EXPERIENCED THE FOLLOWING WITH THEM:

1. Death of a loved one. 2. Financial stress. 3. A health issue. THESE 3 LIFE EVENTS WILL SURELY OCCUR DURING YOUR MARRIAGE AT SOME POINT.

AND THEY CAN BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU/YOUR PARTNER, OR THE WORST.

BETTER TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GET HITCHED THAN AFTER YOU'RE STUCK IN A MARRIAGE WITH KIDS. DATE THEM FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS.

EDIT 2: Wow, thanks for the Gold!

A few users think breaking up is acceptable, but condescending attitude toward partner’s grief lacks empathy.

that-one-guy-youknow − NAH - slightly, this heavily leans YTA. You’re not obligated to stay in a relationship.

But the things you’re saying about him, “he’s basically my son” are pretty condescending.

Hating him for crying. Like this has the kinda “man up” vibe that shouldn’t be how you treat someone with depression who lost his parents.

But, you have every right to break up with him. I just think your thoughts of him aren’t showing a ton of empathy

Dont4getCheese − YTA- Mainly because it sounds like you think he should be over this huge trauma by now.

You aren't obligated to be there for anyone if you don't want to be.

Wrapping up this emotional rollercoaster, the Redditor’s choice reflects the tricky dance of love amid loss – balancing compassion with personal boundaries to avoid a resentment-fueled crash.

In the end, prioritizing happiness doesn’t make you the villain. It might just save the friendship.

Do you think bowing out romantically was a fair play after six months of support, or should love weather longer storms?

How would you handle being the anchor in someone else’s sea of sorrow? Drop your thoughts below. We’re all ears!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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