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Man Refuses To Rehome His Cat, Allergic Pregnant Wife Contributes To The Pet’s Death, Causing Grief

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

This Redditor’s tale from the AITA subreddit is a rollercoaster of fur and feelings. He lives in a cozy home with a pregnant wife, a 16-year-old cat, and a sneeze that flips everything upside down. Because his wife’s sudden allergies spark a showdown over their beloved feline.

He’s fighting to keep his furry soulmate, but she’s ready to draw a line in the litter box. The story ends in tears and a heartbreaking shoebox moment that left Reddit reeling.

Loyalty, loss, and a marriage teetering. This drama’s got sympathy and shade galore.

Man suggests moving himself and his allergic pregnant wife instead of rehoming his cat.

Man Refuses To Rehome His Cat, Allergic Pregnant Wife Contributes To The Pet's Death, Causing Grief
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for moving myself and my pregnant wife to her parents instead of rehoming my cat?'

I have known my wife for 7 years, married for 4, she's 6 months pregnant with our first child.

I have an indoor-only cat who I raised from a kitten to his current age of 16 years. My wife and I are the only people he's been around regularly.

My wife has suddenly developed allergies to the cat. We talked with our doctor and he said sometimes this can happen.

My wife wants me to rehome my cat. I don't want to do this - he's old, he only knows me and my wife, he only knows our home, he's...

I think it will be very stressful for him and at this age it might just k__l him.

I offered my wife a compromise. We can stay with her parents (who live 10 minutes away and have no issues with us taking the spare bedroom)

until the baby is born and then if the allergies persist for her or the baby I can look into (very carefully) finding my cat a permanent new home. I'd...

My wife called me a huge a__hole for prioritizing my cat over her and the baby's health.

I just don't want to traumatize my cat over something that might be temporary. AITA?.

UPDATE EDIT:. None of it matters anymore.

After I read the responses to my original post I started thinking about other options so my wife and I could stay in our home.

My brother lives a few hours away and he spent a few years living with my cat when we were younger, so I called him and explained the situation.

He agreed to adopt him but he was out of town so the soonest he could come pick him up was weekend after next.

I told my wife that we would have to keep the cat for less than 2 weeks until my brother gets here and until then she would have to use...

She became furious and said she was not going to leave our house and the cat had to go ASAP.

I told her this was the best I could do, I was not going to give my cat away to whatever random person stopped by first.

Yesterday I got home from work and I couldn't find my cat. I asked my wife and she told me, no hesitation nothing, that she dropped him off at an...

Her words "I am pregnant and miserable and you wouldn't get rid of him so I did."

I didn't argue, I just asked her to tell me which shelter and drove straight there.

I didn't see my cat at the cages in the shelter. When I showed the lady working there a picture of my cat she started apologizing.

She said they put him with the other cats but later they were bringing in a large dog which they have to take dogs past the cat cages to the...

The dog jumped at my cats cage and barked at him, and my cat panicked and had a heart attack (her guess).

He died. They gave me his body in a shoebox. I took him home. My wife started apologizing once she saw him

but I ignored her and went straight to the backyard and buried him.

I called my brother earlier today and explained what happened. He started yelling into the phone

that my wife murdered my cat and I need to reconsider my relationship. I just feel numb, I haven't said a word to my wife,

I don't think I can even look at her. I don't know what I'm going to do.

This Redditor’s caught in a classic tug-of-war between pet loyalty and partner priorities.

The husband’s devotion to his 16-year-old cat is understandable. Pets are family, especially after a decade and a half of purrs and cuddles.

But his wife, six months pregnant and battling new allergies, is understandably miserable. Her demand to rehome the cat ASAP clashes with his refusal to uproot his aging feline friend, leading to a compromise that felt more like an ultimatum: move to her parents’ house until the baby arrives.

The husband’s heart is with his cat, a companion who’s been with him through thick and thin. Rehoming a senior pet can be traumatic.

Studies from American Veterinary Medical Association show older cats often struggle to adapt to new environments, with stress potentially worsening health issues.

Yet, the wife’s health concerns are valid too. Pregnancy hormones can trigger new allergies, and constant sneezing isn’t just annoying. It can feel like a betrayal when your body turns against you.

Nevertheless, the wife’s decision to drop the cat at a shelter without discussion. This move screams impatience and disregard, especially since the husband had a plan: his brother was ready to adopt the cat in just two weeks.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes that trust is built through “small moments of attunement.” But this shelter stunt shows the opposite.

It’s a breach that could haunt their marriage, especially since the cat’s tragic death, likely from stress-induced heart failure. It adds a layer of irreversible grief.

This story also highlights the messy dynamics of pet ownership in relationships. A 2024 ASPCA survey found 65% of pet owners view their animals as family members, yet conflicts over pets contribute to 20% of relationship strain.

The husband tried to balance both sides, but his wife’s unilateral action shut down communication. A better approach could be open dialogue to navigate emotional bonds without resorting to drastic measures.

What could they have done? Air purifiers, designated pet-free zones, or temporary fostering with frequent visits might’ve eased tensions.

The takeaway: communication is key, and unilateral decisions are a recipe for regret.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many people claim that pregnant wife’s comfort should come first over keeping the cat at home.

Special-Attitude-242 − I am a cat lover and I have to say YTA. Look, I know it's hard to figure out arrangements for an elderly cat.

(I had to put my 16 year old tabby down last year and he was very picky in his old age).

But you are about to become a father and that means making sacrifices. Would your in-laws be willing to take the cat?

You could do all the work and he would be close to home. The comfort of your wife is your number one priority.

plscallmeRain − That's not a compromise. Kicking your wife out of your home when she's 6 months pregnant is really, really not something you want to do if you value...

Shitsuri − Soooo you don’t expect your cat to adapt well to being even temporarily moved, but your pregnant wife should be fine with it?

RealTalkFastWalk − YTA for wanting your wife to sleep in a guest room at her parents for the 3 most uncomfortable months of pregnancy,

and possibly longer with a newborn, just so your cat doesn’t have to be stressed. It is an unfortunate situation.

But your wife has to come first. Can you block off a room or two for your cat’s use that only you go in?

Can your cat stay with friends or your in-laws? Can you try vacuuming 2 times a day and getting a hepa filter to see if her allergies are mitigated?

Many other people think the wife’s heartless act of giving away the cat warrants reconsidering the marriage.

Sudden-Eggplant8065 − NTA Oh my god this is awful, I would suggest leaving your wife or couples therapy.

You won’t be able to trust her again and her actions killed your pet. You tried your best to compromise but all she did was go behind your back.

That would be relationship ending for me, regardless of if your wife is pregnant or nor

KoontzKid − I disagree with the AH verdict. Even before the edit it's not like he got a new cat knowing she was allergic.

This is his cat he's had all his life and while living with the in-laws as a solution is a bit much I feel like his heart is in the...

As far as the edit goes, I agree with the brother. Really think if you want you want to continue to be in a relationship with someone who would do...

RainbowSparklePie − So sorry for your loss. I told my husband about this story,

and I would absolutely divorce him if he did this to a beloved family member.

Things can be replaced, old beloved animals cant. I cried thinking of all the pets I have had. I just can't imagine.

WhereasFuzzy7229 − Read the update, and I’m going to go ahead and say NTA. You found a solution,

she was too impatient to wait the 2 weeks and instead gave your cat to the shelter WITHOUT your permission.

If I were in your shoes, I'd seriously be reconsidering my marriage.

This Redditor’s tale is a gut-punch, leaving a marriage teetering and a beloved cat lost forever.

The husband’s grief is palpable, and his wife’s apologies can’t undo the damage.

Was her decision a desperate bid for relief, or a heartless overstep? Could the couple have found a way to save both their marriage and the cat?

Share your thoughts below. Would you forgive a partner for this, or is it a dealbreaker? Let’s hear your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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