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Woman Insists on Attending Sister’s Wedding – Boyfriend Accuses Her of ‘Choosing Family Over His Kids

by Charles Butler
October 21, 2025
in Social Issues

She was thrilled, packing for her sister’s big wedding, a special family day. But her boyfriend, John, a single dad with three kids, stopped her cold.

The wedding was child-free, so his boys couldn’t go, and he demanded she stay home to babysit. She’d lived with John for two years, loving his kids, cooking meals, and helping with homework.

But missing her sister’s wedding? No way. John wouldn’t get a sitter and guilt-tripped her, even telling the boys she didn’t care about them. She went anyway. Now they’re barely talking.

Woman Insists on Attending Sister’s Wedding - Boyfriend Accuses Her of ‘Choosing Family Over His Kids
Not the actual photo

Was she wrong, or was John asking too much?

AITA for insisting on attending my sister's wedding?

I f32 been dating John m37 for 2 years. He's a single dad to 3 kids [4m (jr) ,6m,9m]. I moved in with him and his kids a little while...

I gave to say that he's super protective of his kids, I haven't been able to meet them til later because he said they might not like me

and so he started easing them into accepting me by encouraging me and pushing me to be "extra friendly" to them by buying them stuff and cooking for them daily.

He's very busy often times, and the boys have now clinged on to me because they see me more than they see him.

Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful for this outcome but the issue is that I can't be away from them for a long time. More than hours.

Now that I'd moved in I can't go anywhere without taking them with me.

I can barely have time for myself but what's worse is that my work got interrupted by that. John suggested I work less hours but it didn't happen.

Now my sister is getting married soon. It'll be held hours away so I'll have to travel. The invitation stated "child-free" so I can't take the kids.

When John heard about this he told me to immediately call and apologize cause I won't be attending.

I was stunned I asked why and he went on about how much the kids adore me and how they'll go crazy when I'm hours away from them.

Besides, that he's too busy to look after them. I said it's not my fault and he should either take time off work and stay with them or get a...

He threw a fit about how selfish and unfeeling I was and that he will only let me attend the wedding when I tell my sister to let the kids...

I INSISTED on going after he kept saying I shouldn't go. He went and told the boys that I was looking for an excuse to get some time away from...

I confronted him about what he did and he said it's the result of me "insisting" on going to the wedding and choosing my sister over my stepkids.

He even said I should be thankful the kids "accept" me for who I am and are giving me this much attention. I was speechless and felt offended.

AITA for standing my ground and wanting to go? She's my only sister and we have a great relationship so not attending her wedding can cause issues.

EDITING SOME INFORMATION: to answer the question about the biological mom. His eldest is from his late wife.

He then dated his ex girlfriend and had his middle and youngest child with her. Now she's out of the picture.

The eldest user to be kind of distant from his half brothers and had issues with them for years.

I was left to navigate through that and help him re-bond with them. Like I said all of them like to spend time with me

so as a result they are bonding together, which is a great thing. John was clearly too busy to try to fix this problem a long time ago.

When Love Turns Into Babysitting

Many online readers saw John’s behavior as manipulative and selfish. They pointed out that the woman wasn’t running away from her responsibilities, she was attending a family celebration.

One commenter said it best: “She’s a girlfriend, not a live-in nanny.” Another pointed out that John was acting less like a partner and more like a “lazy dad trying to hand off his parenting duties.”

The woman explained that she often helped the kids with their routines and had even helped John’s eldest son reconnect with his half-brothers.

She clearly cared about the boys. But John’s decision to guilt-trip her and to involve the children in the argument, was cruel. Instead of showing respect for her family commitment, he made her feel guilty for having her own life.

Expert Take: Boundaries, Not Babysitting

Relationship experts often warn about this kind of imbalance. When one partner quietly takes on parenting duties that aren’t theirs, resentment builds fast.

According to a 2023 study in the Journal of Family Psychology, over 60% of blended families struggle with unclear roles, especially when one adult ends up doing most of the caregiving.

The Bigger Picture: A S**tty Father, Not a Supportive Partner

Let’s be real, this wasn’t about the wedding. This was about control and laziness. John expected his girlfriend to act like a stepmom without giving her any of the respect that comes with being an equal partner.

Instead of being a loving dad, he used his kids as emotional weapons. Telling them that she “didn’t care about them” was not only unfair, it was a classic move from a s**tty father who refuses to own his parenting role.

What She Should Do Next

The advice from most readers was simple: go to the wedding. Enjoy the day, celebrate her sister, and take time to think about what kind of relationship she truly wants.

John’s reaction revealed a lot about his character, his tendency to manipulate, his unwillingness to take responsibility, and his lack of respect for her independence.

After the wedding, a serious talk is needed. She needs to make clear boundaries: she’s his partner, not his babysitter.

If John refuses to step up and share real responsibilities, then it might be time for her to move on. Staying in a relationship where one person carries all the weight only leads to resentment.

See what others had to share with OP:

Readers didn’t hold back. Many called John “a walking red flag” and “a s**tty dad.”

Redittor72529 − NTA. This man is taking advantage of you. The fact that he asked you to work less hours is a major red flag IMO.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA You do realise that this man is keeping you as a free babysitter and housekeeper to escape his parental duty, yes? Edit: thanks for the award ♥

kr0mb0pulos_michael − NTA. "LET you attend the wedding"? HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE red flag there.

Others shared personal stories of being trapped in similar situations, where partners dumped parental duties on them under the name of love.

unionmom4 − Sweetheart, wake up and see the red flags. You are just the free childcare.

If he really thought of you as a partner he wouldn’t ask you to cut your hours to watch his kids, he wouldn’t be leaving them for long stretches,

he wouldn’t be involving them in adult conversations and most importantly he wouldn’t be isolating you from your family.

Yes, go to your sister’s wedding, but seriously think about returning to this living situation where you are just the unpaid help. NTA

ChinSpin_1986 − Wow. NTA, but you need to look in the mirror, point at your reflection and say "this person is nothing but a Mom II to that man's children.

She is supposed to give up her life to them and obey him. " Then, ask the woman in the mirror if she wants this to be her *entire life....

ColdstreamCapple − NTA Go to the wedding and lose John…. .He’s trying to manipulate you by using his kids and you’re not worried that he’s now resorting to anger when...

🚩Please choose your family and LEAVE this guy , From this guys perspective I’m worried for you

BirdEyrir − Lol what? Girl you're his captive bangnanny. Don't walk, run.

Some, however, hoped the situation could still be fixed with honest communication and therapy, saying John might change if he realized how much his actions hurt everyone involved.

gottahavemysay − Omg . Run 🏃‍♀️ run run run fast NTA. You are entitled to attend an event without his kids. The real BIG RED FLAG is how he handled...

He threw you under the bus and didn't have your back. Get out, he will manipulate every situation to his advantage and convenience .

You will always be treated badly unless you fit in with his plan.

CommunicationOdd9406 − 🚩🚩🚩 girl, you're the nanny not his partner. Run.

ImStealingTheTowels − NTA You need to get the hell out of this relationship ASAP.

Your boyfriend is extremely controlling and manipulative - not to mention a s__tty father to his kids.

Love or a Life Sentence?

The woman wasn’t wrong for wanting to be there for her sister. What’s wrong is expecting her to sacrifice her own family moments just to cover for a partner who refuses to act like a father.

Love should never mean losing your freedom or being guilt-tripped into parenting someone else’s kids. Whether she stays or leaves, one thing is clear: she deserves a partner who treats her like an equal, not a stand-in nanny for a s**tty dad.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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