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Dad Faces Backlash For Dropping Out Of Sister’s Wedding After They Refuse To Let His Kid Attend

by Katy Nguyen
November 8, 2025
in Social Issues

Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, but what happens when your personal circumstances collide with your loved one’s expectations? For one single dad, his sister’s upcoming wedding has turned into a heartbreaking dilemma.

Her wedding is child-free, which would normally be fine, but his 4-year-old daughter, who struggles with separation anxiety, can’t be left with just anyone.

After being refused a compromise from his sister, he’s left with a tough choice, either attend with his daughter or not go at all.

The family is upset, but is he being unreasonable for putting his daughter first?

Dad Faces Backlash For Dropping Out Of Sister’s Wedding After They Refuse To Let His Kid Attend
Not the actual photo

'AITA for dropping out of my sister's wedding even though I'm her only family if my kid can't come?'

So I'm a 23-year-old guy, and I have a 4-year-old daughter. I'm a single dad since my kid's mum passed away in an accident two years ago.

I'm not gonna lie and pretend it's been easy; we're getting by. Aside from her, my big sister is my only family.

Mum is dead, Dad's a piece of s__t we have no contact with, don't have any grandparents or aunts or uncles or w/e.

My sister is getting married in three weeks. Her wedding is child-free, which I totally understand.

However, the wedding would mean me being out of town overnight, and my daughter has some issues with separation anxiety, meaning there are only a few people she's comfortable being...

One of them is my sister, one is my neighbour, and one is my coworker/best friend.

Obviously, my sister is a no-go for babysitting on the day, and my friend is out of the country on that date.

Originally, it was planned that my daughter would stay with the neighbour. However, two days ago neighbour had a bad fall and broke her hip.

She's an older woman, so the healing process is going to be hard, and she's not going to be up to having a kid running around in 3 weeks. This,...

I asked my sister if she'd be willing to make a compromise and let my daughter attend the wedding, but she and her fiancé are steadfast that they want no...

I apologised and said I'm not going to be able to attend, then, because I obviously can't leave my kid by herself, and she's not at a place yet where...

My sister is really, really upset because now she isn't going to have any blood family at the wedding, and her fiancé had some very choice words for me regarding...

He even went so far as to say she's just being a brat and I need to stop enabling her, which pissed me off.

For context, her issues come from the fact that she was in the same accident that her mum died in, and we're working on them with a counsellor, but obviously,...

Idk. I feel s__tty abandoning my sister, but if she's not willing to have my kid there I don't know that there's much else I can do.

AITA for saying that either my kid needs to come or I can't go?

EDIT: I don't think I've been clear enough about not being able to leave my daughter for an extended period with anyone but the three people I lifted.

I appreciate that most of you suggesting "just find a sitter in the town where the wedding is and leave the kid with them" mean well, but leaving her with...

Also, I want to clarify that my issue is not with them having a child-free wedding, per se. I understand why you would want that.

What I think is unreasonable is how they both fully know my situation and still expect me to attend without my daughter.

It’s important to highlight how the father’s decision to skip the wedding reflects both emotional priorities and family dynamics. He isn’t merely rejecting the ceremony, he is putting his daughter’s emotional wellbeing first.

His daughter, aged four, is dealing with separation anxiety: an entrenched condition wherein children experience intense distress when apart from familiar caregivers.

According to the literature, about 4 % of children are estimated to suffer from clinical‑level Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) in any given year.

The diagnosis of SAD implies that normal separations trigger neurotic levels of fear, this reinforces why the father says leaving his daughter overnight with a stranger or unfamiliar person isn’t viable.

The sister’s insistence on a child‑free wedding is understandable as a personal choice and common format, but the conflict deepens when unique family circumstances are ignored.

The father wasn’t asking for unlimited accommodation, he asked for one exceptio, to have his daughter attend, or else he cannot go. In this light, the real issue isn’t simply wedding etiquette, it’s unresolved grief, parental responsibility, and sibling expectations colliding.

This context gives the father’s stance weight. He has a legitimate caregiving role, his partner died, he’s raising his daughter alone, and he clearly states the only people she trusts for extended time are her aunt (the bride), a neighbour (now incapacitated), and a friend (unavailable).

He is being consistent with his daughter’s mental‑health needs rather than arbitrary obstruction.

Research shows children with separation anxiety have higher risks of long‑term emotional issues and may struggle with independent sleeping, school attendance or peer relationships if not properly supported.

In that sense, the father is acting not just as a gatekeeper of one event, but as protector of his daughter’s emotional development.

When the sister and fiancé dismiss these concerns, calling the daughter “just being a brat” and anything less than reasonable, they diminish both parenting burden and the genuine distress involved. That lack of empathy can cause lasting trauma in familial relationships.

If this couple (bride and groom) and the father wished to avoid permanent rifts, they could benefit from mediated communication.

A neutral professional (perhaps a child‑psychologist or family‑therapist) might help clarify, the father respects the child‑free policy, he is willing to not “bring a child” broadly, but he cannot attend without his daughter due to her diagnosed separation anxiety and lack of safe alternatives.

The couple might propose a compromise (e.g., his daughter attends only the ceremony or a portion of the reception, or a “family photo” only event) if willing.

Meanwhile, the father should document the caregiving constraints and clearly express he is not rejecting the wedding for convenience, but is fulfilling his duty as sole caregiver.

That approach maintains his integrity and protects his daughter, while also signalling to his sister that the relationship still matters.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

These users are all about the boundaries OP is setting.

nustyj − NTA. I was originally gonna say NAH, but when your sister and in-law attacked your daughter, it totally changed my mind.

They should care about their niece, and since they don't, you should absolutely NOT attend their wedding and not feel bad for them.

rhetorical_twix − NTA. My sister is really, really upset because now she isn't going to have any blood family at the wedding which is also why it's a big burden...

Her fiancé had some very choice words for me regarding my daughter's anxiety problems and how he thinks I'm using them as an excuse.

He even went so far as to say she's just being a brat and I need to stop enabling her, which pissed me off.

For context, her issues come from the fact that she was in the same accident that her mum died in, and we're working on them with a counsellor, but obviously,...

Her fiancé is an ass, and you do not have to be there for him if he pressures you with an irrational, negative grudge against a traumatized 4-year-old soon-to-be relative.

It's one thing to have a childfree wedding, and it's another thing to be child-hating. They sound like a bad family, OP.

rapheALtoid − Wait, wait, wait... you're a single dad, your sister has essentially no blood relatives except you and your daughter, and she didn't want her only niece at the...

That's an AH move even before the lack of babysitter thing.

You should have told her from day one that you and your daughter are a non-negotiable set for family functions. So NTA, OP.

Crazy_Comment_Lady − NTA. I understand your family can't come before your spouse.

But if your sister is okay with her soon-to-be husband talking to her "only blood family" that way, then I don't anticipate a very longstanding relationship with your new BIL.

Meanwhile, this group focus on the child-free wedding issue, but in a more balanced way.

misseselise − NTA. I definitely understand the want for a child-free wedding, but she really can’t get mad at you for not being able to go when she isn’t willing...

It doesn’t matter that you’re her only family- she’s allowing her disdain towards children to get in the way of you being able to attend.

And f__k her fiancé for being rude about your daughter’s anxieties. Where was your sister in stepping up to defend you? For someone who’s claiming family is so important, she...

Desert_Fairy − If you want a child-free wedding, then you need to accept that some parents can’t come.

I’m in the no kids camp too, but I really don’t understand how you can expect adults with children to come when their first priority is going to be to...

It is about respect. It has to be a two-way street.

You respect your sister enough not to argue with her decision to have a child-free wedding, and I hope you aren’t considering just bringing your child like some tasteless individuals.

And she needs to respect that your child care options fell through, and you cannot attend.

As to your BIL and blaming a traumatized child, I would ask your sister if she intends to have children, because I wouldn’t want to have someone like him around...

That tends to make me wonder if he would be similarly abusive to his own family. Edit: NTA.

Bluefuzzies − NTA. My husband and I decided to have a child-free wedding. We did make a few exceptions.

1) We wanted flower girls, so our cousins' girls (and their siblings) were invited.

2) My bridesmaid's kids had a traumatic experience happen and were having separation anxiety, as well.

My bridesmaid was gonna drop out because of the childfree, but I told her I would rather have her and her husband there with the kids than none of them.

If she really wanted you there, she would make an exception. bif it's her fiance, he's being a d__k. You take care of your kid first.

Next up, these Redditors highlight the reality of parenting and childhood needs.

estoydesvelada − NTA, you're a good dad for putting your child's health first.

BroadElderberry − NTA. Uh, your daughter's 4. Having a limited number of people she's willing to stay overnight with is totally normal for her age.

Actually, having 3 people who aren't an immediate parent who are in the circle of people she's okay spending the night with is borderline advanced for her age.

You can't just leave your daughter alone in the house with a bag of food and hope she's okay.

You can't just leave her with someone who is a stranger to both of you overnight.

Even with a kid who doesn't have anxiety, you don't just hand them over to a stranger for an overnight gig.

You can't bring her with you, because you still run into the problem of having to leave her in the care of a stranger.

I'm sorry, but I'm so over the "childfree wedding" thing. Either hire childcare for the wedding/reception, or just elope.

xquigs − NTA. I get the no kid thing, but if you’re the only family member that talks to her, and assuming she loves your daughter.

Why doesn’t she just make her niece a last-minute flower girl?

I think a reception could handle one child being present; pretty sure no one's heads will explode over this.

[Reddit User] − NTA, your daughter has been through a traumatic accident, and so have you.

It’s understandable that you don’t want to leave her with just anyone.

I get your sister wanting her family there, but if she really wanted blood relatives, your daughter is one of her blood relatives.

If she’s demanding you’re there just because your family, your daughter is family too, so she should be more accommodating.

On the flip side, these commenters are more direct in their support for OP’s decision.

litha_of_the_summer − NTA, anxiety is real. Good for you for putting your daughter's needs first.

Sounds like your soon-to-be BIL is a d__k, I feel bad for your sister.

imoto314 − NTA, your child comes first. The soon-to-be BIL sounds like a real winner.

Egg-prince − NTA, your daughter is 4, it’s totally normal for her to have separation anxiety. This is something that takes a lot of time to work on.

Your sister isn’t an arsehole for being upset, but you gave her the two options you had available, and she CHOSE not to have you there (because your child can’t...

Her partner is TA, he needs to calm his farm. I get that he is trying to stick up for his partner, but what good will it do to push...

Your child comes first; everybody should know that.

Finally, this user focus on the lack of flexibility from OP’s sister.

grumpyspudgal − NTA. If your sister wanted you there so badly, she would let your daughter come along since you don't have a babysitter.

This is one of those situations where no one is “right” or “wrong,” but the emotions are running high, and the stakes are real.

While his sister’s desire for a child-free wedding is valid, the emotional strain on his daughter, who is still processing trauma, makes it hard for the OP to leave her behind.

Was his stance fair, or did he overplay his hand? And could his sister have been more understanding of his unique situation? Drop your thoughts below, how would you navigate this tough family conflict?

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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