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Pregnant Mom Says No To Baby Spanish Lessons Because Dad’s Not ‘Real’ Spanish

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 37-weeks-pregnant wife’s baby-name chat exploded when hubby plotted bilingual daughter in his Spain-forged Spanish, zero family roots, just his 15-year expat echo. She fears mom-excluding secret code.

Reddit’s a bilingual bloodbath. Polyglot fans hail early edge; exclusion hawks blast dad’s ego trip as marital sabotage. Waddle meets wedge: who’s gatekeeping the crib?

A pregnant woman’s opposition to her husband’s Spanish lessons for their baby sparks Reddit backlash over culture and bilingual benefits.

Pregnant Mom Says No To Baby Spanish Lessons Because Dad's Not 'Real' Spanish
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for not wanting my (29F) husband (31M) to teach our future baby Spanish?'

Okay so I’m in a bit of a dilemma here.

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant so we are getting ready to receive our girl.

The problem is my husband has recently told me he wants to teach her Spanish too.

The thing is, he isn‘t even Spanish! He was born here but lived on Spain since he was 4 until he was 19.

Now, if he had some sort of cultural or family connection to Spain then I might consider it. But he is American!

When he initially told me at around 21 weeks I thought he was joking so I let it go, but now that he brought it up again I told him...

I told him what I told you guys above and that it would be hard for her because they are very different languages.

He started arguing that there are many kids that are raised bilingual and are very smart but I also feel like it might cut me from my child.

He is mad at me for not accepting and I can’t help but wonder if I was an a__hole here.

Our soon-to-be mom isn’t against languages, she’s against feeling like the odd one out in her own nursery. Her husband, raised in Spain from ages 4 to 19, sees Spanish as part of his identity, not just a hobby. She sees potential isolation, especially with a newborn who’ll babble in codes she can’t crack. It’s less about the language and more about the invisible walls it might build at 2 a.m. feedings.

Flip the script, though, and hubby’s got a point sharper than a flamenco heel. Fifteen years isn’t a summer fling; it’s childhood, schoolyard scuffles, first crushes under Iberian suns. That’s cultural immersion baked deeper than paella rice. Denying that connection feels like telling someone their favorite childhood blanket isn’t “real” because it wasn’t knitted by blood relatives. Reddit’s roasting the OP for gatekeeping a skill that could open doors faster than a college degree.

Then there’s the kiddo in the middle of this linguistic tug-of-war. Science backs the bilingual brigade: the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that children raised with two languages show better executive function, like mini CEOs juggling tasks.

A 2023 study from the University of Washington found bilingual toddlers outperform monolingual peers in problem-solving by age two. It’s not just smart, it’s a superpower in a global job market where Spanish speakers earn up to 20% more in the U.S., per the Census Bureau.

Psychologist Dr. Erika Hoff, a leading voice on child language development, told The New York Times, “The younger you are, the more head start you have.”

In this case, dad’s not forcing Castilian royalty, he’s offering a gift wrapped in his own memories. The OP’s fear of exclusion? Valid, but fixable. Hoff’s insight underscores why starting early matters. Kids under three soak up languages with the ease of breathing, building neural pathways that stick for life.

Imagine the payoff: a toddler chatting about playground adventures in two tongues, turning family dinners into delightful code-switching chaos. So this is about handing your child a toolkit for empathy, too, as switching languages hones the brain’s ability to navigate different worlds.

Zoom out, and this mirrors bigger chats about modern families blending cultures without a family tree to prove it. Immigration, expat life, study abroad, identities are mashups now. Gatekeeping language based on bloodline ignores how fluid culture’s become. Neutral fix? Compromise: dad teaches Spanish playfully, mom joins classes, baby gets the best of both worlds without anyone feeling sidelined.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some insist living 15 years in Spain creates deep cultural ties.

Nyukorin − "If he had some cultural connection" Ummm... He has lived there for 15 years wtf are you on about? YTA

Sk8tingpanda568 − YTA. Living in a country for 15 formative years is a cultural connection. You don't have to be born there.

Your kid will hate you forever for not teaching them Spanish when you could and they have to start from scratch at school.

Kids pick up languages so easily. Heck if you don't want to be excluded maybe you should learn it too!

That'd be a great whole family bonding experience!

ArmyRepresentative14 − YTA. If he lived there for 15 years especially his formative years he DOES have cultural ties to Spain.

Why would you not want a bilingual child? Americans are so dense they can't see the benefit of knowing more than one language. And yes I am American.

Some call bilingualism a massive gift and career boost.

GothPenguin − YTA-Babies have an amazing capacity to learn things including multiple languages and stop gatekeeping Spanish.

Flowerofiron − YTA. Being bilingual is such a gift! Your child would have such a headstart.

It's a huge bonus on any resume or future career. Also you say he has no connection to Spain yet he lived there for almost all of his childhood?!

That is a huge connection. He spent his most formative years there. He DOES have a huge cultural connection to that country.

Honestly you sound jealous or even a bit racist

cassidy11111111 − Yta Why are you so against this. Spanish is an extremely common language and would be a benefit.

The high school my children went to required a second language to graduate and it’s far easier to teach them young vs as they get older.

Take advantage of the fact your husband speaks another language and is willing to teach your child. You could ask him to teach you as well

Some say OP’s fear of exclusion is selfish and fixable.

Little_Dot_512 − YTA He doesn't have a cultural connection to the country he was raised in? Yes, he definitely does if he was there from the ages of 4 to...

"I told him what I told you guys above and that it would be hard for her because they are very different languages."

Being bilingual enhances understanding of both languages. And this will make your future child more well-rounded and more employable.

"He started arguing that there are many kids that are raised bilingual and are very smart but I also feel like it might cut me from my child."

Then find your own way to bond with the kid! It is okay for parents to bond with their children over different things, it doesn't have to take away from...

Edit: Thanks for all of the upvotes everyone!

[Reddit User] − YTA being bilingual is an asset and completely normal for kids.

Kokbiel − YTA - Spanish is one of THE most common languages spoken in the US, after English.

Why does the culture/heritage make any difference? You don't need to be from anywhere, to learn a language.

You also need to do more research into language learning, it's actually far easier for young children to learn multiple languages, while it's harder for adults.

It sounds more like you think you'll somehow be excluded, and that's your sole reasoning. And if this is the case, learn it with your child?

Some urge OP to learn Spanish alongside the child.

belmiramirabel − 4 to 19 is a huge gap of time and the majority of your husband’s formative years -

something that should be significant and understandable to a future mother.

He clearly loves the country he was raised in and wants his child to have an appreciation for it as well.

Not to mention the general benefits of bilingualism, mentioned elsewhere. YTA

Accurate_Ad_3663 − A quick google search has told me that Spanish is the second most spoken language in the USA,

which would be pretty useful to know if you live there! I suppose you want your child to speak “American”. YTA

Some warn the child will resent OP for blocking fluency.

snarkingintheusa − YTA He literally grew up there! Teaching your child a 2nd language from birth will be doing them a huge favor!

Green-Return-7466 − YTA 100%. I’ve lived in the US my whole life raised by immigrant parents and I’m completely fluent, have embraced the culture,

and plan to go to Korea one day. Your husband has spent 15 entire years in Spain, he is much more Spanish then I am Korean if we’re being literal.

Clearly he wants to pass down his Spanish heritage which there’s nothing wrong with.

n0b0dyneeds2know − I understand that you’re scared, but YTA. Hear me out: you would essentially be depriving your child of a HUGE life advantage,

because of your own insecurities. I don’t believe that’s the kind of parent you really want to be.

Also, you realise that you would probably end up learning a lot of Spanish from your daughter, as she’s learning it?

You’d be watching her learn Spanish in tandem with English, and you’d undoubtedly pick up a lot without even trying that hard.

Here’s the thing, if I found out that one of my parents had wanted to raise me bilingual,

but the other stopped that, I would resent the parent who deprived me of that skill FOREVER. You think it’s never going to come up?

It will. Take a moment and consider how you are going to justify that to them

when your kid is a teenager and struggling to learn Spanish in an overcrowded high school class,

with a teacher who doesn’t really want to be there, when they could’ve just picked it up naturally without any effort on their part.

I get that you’re pregnant and probably feeling vulnerable, but part of being a parent

(arguably the most important part) is doing what’s best for your children, even if it’s not what you want.

Being bilingual is 100% the best thing for your daughter. You have a chance to give your child a head start in an increasingly difficult world. Don’t waste it.

A user questions if OP would object even to native Spanish speakers.

MyIndigoLux − YTA. What if he actually was Spanish? Would you still not want him teaching her Spanish?

In the end, this mom’s worry about being left out clashes with a dad’s wish to share his past, leaving their baby as the ultimate prize.

Do you think blocking Spanish robs the child of a leg up, or is protecting family unity worth the monolingual life? How would you navigate a partner pushing a passion project onto the playpen? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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