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16-Year-Old Is To Come Out To Wealthy Conservative Grandparents, Gets Delayed And Blames The One Protecting Her

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A family vacation spiraled into chaos when a Redditor’s 16-year-old cousin, brimming with resolve, planned to reveal their bisexuality to their ultra-wealthy, staunchly conservative grandparents. These grandparents control a substantial inheritance, but their rigid views could lock it away if they learn the truth.

Caught between supporting their cousin’s authenticity and fearing financial fallout, the Redditor advised waiting, triggering tears, heated accusations, and a full-blown family rift. The messy clash of loyalty, truth, and pragmatism has everyone debating whether the Redditor’s advice was a protective move or a betrayal of trust.

A Redditor’s plea to delay their cousin’s coming out sparks debate over family, identity, and a hefty inheritance.

16-Year-Old Is To Come Out To Wealthy Conservative Grandparents, Gets Delayed And Blames The One Protecting Her
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my cousin to wait before coming out?'

My grandparents are extremely wealthy, but are incredibly homophobic.

They have actively donated money to organizations that are against LGBTQ causes,

and are very vocal about their h__red for the people who 'tarnish the name of god'.

They have decided to divide their wealth amongst us 6 cousins, which will be given to us when we are 18.

This money would be enough for us to live a very comfortable life. Once we get access to our individual trusts, nobody has any say in how the money will...

My cousin (16f) told me she's bi a few months back. I was fully accepting of her and she said

that she had only told her parents, a few close friends and me and my parents (we all were fully accepting of her),

and would wait before officially coming out. Yesterday night she called me and told me she's ready to publicly come out.

She said she would post it on Instagram, and then tell our whole family (including grandparents) on our small vacation next week.

I told her to wait before telling our family because I am a 100% sure that our grandparents would disown her and remove her from their inheritance.

After I said this she started crying and yelling at me, telling me that I was trying to suppress her true identity, and even accused me of being homophobic.

She then told her parents who shouted at me and told me to mind my own business

and that her daughter not getting the money was her problem and not mine.

I told my parents about this, and they said I should not have said that because that is her choice and she would live with it.

AITA for being a genuinely concerned cousin brother and not wanted my cousin

to loose out on something she does not fully understand yet and how much it can change her life?

Coming out is a brave thing to do. To finally live with your true identity, that’s the dream of any human being, let alone someone from the LGBTQ+ community. But sometimes, the “timing” factor should also be taken into account.

This Redditor’s cousin is ready to wave her truth like a pride flag, but the grandparents’ potential backlash looms like a storm cloud over a trust fund picnic.

The Redditor’s advice to wait wasn’t about shame, it was a desperate bid to secure their cousin’s financial future. At 16, the weight of losing a life-altering inheritance might not hit as hard as the thrill of authenticity, but in a world where 64% of LGBTQ+ youth face family rejection, according to a 2023 Trevor Project survey, the stakes are sky-high.

On one hand, the cousin’s drive to come out reflects a bold claim to identity, especially in a society where acceptance is growing – 60% of Americans now support same-sex marriage, according to Gallup.

Yet, the grandparents’ views, rooted in outdated dogma, wield power through their wealth. The Redditor’s warning wasn’t suppression, it was a reality check, like telling someone to dodge a punch they don’t see coming.

Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a developmental psychologist, notes, “During adolescence, heightened reward sensitivity, coupled with the delayed maturation of self-regulatory competence, may explain why some teenagers are particularly prone to engage in risky behaviors”.

Here, the cousin’s parents, already supportive, could help her weigh pride against pragmatism without dimming her spark, drawing on this insight to guide her through the rush of coming out while considering the practical ripple effects, like securing her inheritance before the family vacation turns tense.

This interplay of intense reward-seeking and underdeveloped self-control mirrors the Redditor’s dilemma, as the 16-year-old’s excitement to share her bisexuality publicly clashes with the sobering reality of her grandparents’ views.

By framing the conversation around adolescent brain science, rather than judgment, loved ones can empower teens to harness their authenticity without hasty regrets, turning potential heartbreak into a thoughtful strategy for long-term freedom.

The broader issue: family acceptance versus financial security hits hard for many. LGBTQ+ individuals often face “conditional love” tied to inheritance or support, forcing tough choices.

The Redditor’s suggestion to delay is about timing, like waiting for the right moment to drop a plot twist.

Could the cousin live her truth quietly with close allies until the trust is hers, then celebrate freely? Open dialogue with her parents might bridge the gap, ensuring she feels seen without risking it all.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some support OP for warning their cousin about the financial consequences of coming out.

mcmurrml − NTA, you did absolutely the right thing. You have given her a heads up and let her know this might cost her.

She full well knows and if it isn't worth it to her so be it. Anyone giving you trouble just say hey u wanted her to have all the information.

You have done it so now that is it. At least you told her.

[Reddit User] − NTA because it was just a suggestion. It's easy for her to say this now as she doesn't have nor need the money.

However, when the other 5 grandkids get their money and she realizes she doesn't have it,

she'll be knocking at your door asking you to split the money, give it all to her or reject it.

I've read a couple reddit posts that said exactly that. Soo, at least you can say you warned her.

Maybe she really doesn't want the money, her parents are independently wealthy or whatever. It's her choice.

Vixen7-9 − She then told her parents who shouted at me and told me to mind my own business

and that her daughter not getting the money was her problem and not mine.

I told my parents about this, and they said I should not have said that because that is her choice and she would live with it.

I think you and your cousins are NTA, but your parents are. Here's why, they say the choice is hers

yet they won't tell her all the appropriate information in order to make that choice.

By withholding the information that the grandparents have a large sum of money that she won't inherit if she comes out,

they are the ones who are not letting her have a choice. In her mind she could come out and there will be no major repercussions (at least not in...

In reality, there are. Now that she's aware, she can truly make the choice she deems appropriate. I don't think she's an AH for her reaction.

It was a very hard thing to hear after all, to know that you have to make a choice between being your true self in front of everyone

and having enough money to live comfortably money-wise, but hiding your true self.

She can't do anything against her grandparents being homophobic. But neither can you.

Some suggest staying closeted temporarily to secure the inheritance for a better future.

smiling_pile_of_crap − NTA I’m a bisexual nb disaster but if there’s an inheritance involved from wealthy grandparents my a__ is going so far back into that closet.

Wait for them to die and use the money to live the gayest lifestyle possible as a big f__k you to their homophobia. That’s just my personal take on it...

Edit: Holy s__t guys, did not expect this to blow up like it did. Thanks for the awards and all,

but how about instead of spending money on useless internet tokens, you use it to support queer charities (especially since Pride Month is almost upon us)?

Including but not limited to: The Trevor Project, The Human Rights Campaign Foundation, The Point Foundation, The Ali Forney Center, The National Center for Transgender Equality,

and in light of recent US government happenings, Planned Parenthood. Thank you all for your support; stay queer and outlive your enemies ^-^

ThePatriarchyIsTrash − I have a feeling in 2 years you'll be asking "IATA for not sharing my inheritance with my cousin

after she received nothing because she came out of the closet."

She's 16. 16 yr olds aren't always great at looking at the long game. I'm hella bi and, in this economy,

I'd be keeping my mouth shut so I could collect that green. The people who actually matter to her know and accept her.

How is giving up an inheritance so she can tell STRANGERS what her s__ual identity is actually worth it?

Take the money and live your best gay life, ya know? Anyways... NTA

JustAnotherOne4You − NTA, at 16 I would stay in the closet for 2 more years for a sizable inheritance. The important people in her life know.

If she wants she can then use some of that money for an awesome public coming out party sponsored by the bigots. But that's me.

Others see no fault in either party, respecting the cousin’s choice and OP’s advice.

HegoDamask_1 − NAH She needs to live her life and if she is willing to risk inheritance for it, more power to her.

With that being said, you’re not the AH for voicing that concern and giving sound advice that would possibly ensure that she’d be well taken care of once she’s an...

As a gay man, I’d totally wait a few years before coming out to ensure my inheritance wasn’t touched.

Kris82868 − NAH. I think it was meant as nothing more than a heads-up to protect your cousin's financial interests.

But if you know their feelings I really don't see why your cousin wouldn't also be in the know.

Some emphasize the strategic benefit of delaying coming out for financial security.

Lyntx − NTA. You tried to look out for her

behating − Lmao, I'm sorry my queer ass would be so quiet. Like work smarter not harder.

NTA. When you're younger and discover your identity and feel ready to share that, coming out is so important to you.

But once you've passed that you look back and are kinda like "?? Okay who cares"

This Redditor’s heart was in the right place, but their cousin’s ready to paint the family reunion rainbow. Was the advice to wait a savvy move to protect her future, or did it clip her wings too soon? How would you balance a truth worth shouting with a fortune worth saving? Drop your thoughts below!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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