A Redditor just gave the “once a cheater” crowd their new favorite success story.
At only 26, freshly postpartum, and with a six month old on her hip, this mom discovered her husband had slept with a coworker three times. Once when she was three months pregnant. Again at eight months. Then again three weeks after she gave birth.
Instead of spiraling toward “pick-me” behavior, she packed a bag, moved in with her parents, and called a lawyer. While he talks about “broken homes” and “working through it in therapy,” she is booking her own therapist, getting tested, and planning NP school and a house of her own.
Her in-laws call it a mistake. She calls it three choices that put her body, and her baby, at risk.
Now, read the full story:
My heart hurt reading this, and not only for her. It hurt for that tiny baby who will someday learn this family story.
She did exactly what she said she would do. She set a boundary at the start of the relationship, her husband stomped on it repeatedly, and she walked. That takes more strength than most people show in a lifetime.
I love that she is not romanticizing her pain. She is grieving, crying in therapy, but she is also laughing at tiny violins on Reddit and planning grad school. That combination screams “I will build a safer life for myself and my child.”
This is not just drama. This is textbook betrayal trauma during one of the most vulnerable seasons a person can live through.
Cheating during pregnancy hits different.
Pregnancy already places a heavy load on a body and mind. One betrayal-trauma resource notes that betrayal while pregnant can raise stress so much that it affects blood pressure, mental health, and even nutrition, which then impacts the baby as well.
So we are not just talking about hurt feelings. A partner who cheats during pregnancy risks the physical health of both mother and child, especially when they come home and resume intimacy without disclosure or testing.
This behavior is sadly not rare. Psychologist Robert Rodriguez, quoted in a Fatherly article, points out that about ten percent of fathers to be cheat during pregnancy, and that the risk often rises as the pregnancy progresses.
Another review of infidelity statistics notes that about twenty percent of married men cheat, compared to thirteen percent of married women.
So her husband’s behavior fits a known pattern. That does not excuse it. It just confirms that she is not “crazy” or “overreacting” when she refuses to normalize it.
From a psychological perspective, her clarity makes sense. Betrayal trauma specialists describe infidelity as an event that shatters self trust and shared identity. The hurt partner often feels like the whole story of the relationship suddenly flips, because what they believed about their life no longer matches reality.
In that state, some people choose to rebuild with their partner. Others, like this OP, decide that the safest path is out.
Her husband and his mother talk about “one mistake” and a “hurdle most couples go over.” That framing ignores two key facts. He made three separate choices with the same coworker. And he did it while his wife coped with pregnancy, bed rest, birth, and postpartum recovery. That is a pattern, not a stumble.
Now let’s look at the kid question. He warns her about a “broken home.” Research on kids and divorce paints a more nuanced picture. Psychology Today reports that children often show less anxiety and depression when very high conflict parents divorce, compared to when those parents stay together and keep fighting.
Another survey from a family law group in the UK found that eighty two percent of young people who experienced parental separation felt divorce was better than parents staying unhappily married.
So a house with two adults who still live together but sit in resentment and distrust does not magically count as “intact.” Kids feel that tension.
OP’s instincts line up with that research. She would rather co parent respectfully from two homes than raise her son in a place where she watches his father walk out the door and wonders who he is with.
Her son will learn more about self worth from a mother who will not accept lies than from a picture perfect family photo where everyone secretly hurts.
Her plan also covers safety and healing. She already tested for infections and plans follow up tests. She is in therapy, not to “fix” the marriage, but to care for her own nervous system and grief. That matters. Experts on healing after affairs emphasize that the betrayed partner needs their own space, validation, and support, whether they stay or go.
Practical advice for someone in her situation looks a lot like what she is already doing.
Set non negotiable boundaries in line with your values.
Get full medical testing and keep your doctor in the loop.
Secure emotional and financial support, like parents, friends, your own income, and legal counsel.
Use therapy to process grief and trauma. Do not use it as a place where you get pressured to “forgive” on a timeline that serves the person who broke your trust.
Keep the focus on your child’s long term emotional world. Kids benefit most from at least one stable, emotionally safe parent who models boundaries, honesty, and self respect.
In short, she is not “breaking” her home. She is renovating it so her son can grow up in a place where love and safety match the words on the door.
Check out how the community responded:
Most commenters rallied behind her, saying he broke the home, not her, and praising her for walking away the first time she saw the truth.
Another group zeroed in on the “mistake” excuse and his manipulation, calling out how clearly she had set the rule and how blatantly he ignored it.
Plenty of users also lifted her up directly, reminding her of her strength, self worth, and the healthy relationship model she is giving her son.
This story does not end with her “forgiving for the sake of the family.” It ends with her honoring the promise she made to herself before the wedding, and then honoring the tiny person who watched her laugh for the first time after all the tears.
She cannot control that her husband risked her health and their baby’s safety. She can control the example she sets from here. A mother who chooses herself does not fail her child. She teaches that child to recognize harm and walk away from it.
So what do you think? Is leaving after repeated affairs during pregnancy the clearest possible boundary, or would you have tried one more round of counseling before calling a lawyer?
