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Retired Mom Refuses To Fund Daughter’s Baby Expenses Despite Her Luxury Cars And Daily Starbucks Runs

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A retired mom nursing her morning tea kept getting frantic texts from her 28-year-old daughter Sarah, begging for formula money despite pulling in twice her mom’s old salary and rolling in three flashy cars. The asks snowballed – groceries, home repairs, baby stuff – while Sarah whined about skipping restaurant dinners.

Grandma finally snapped, told the couple to stop cosplaying broke, sell the extra car, ditch the daily Starbucks, and live within their cushy upper-middle-class budget instead of draining her fixed pension. Sarah lost it, accused Mom of starving her grandbaby, and turned the family group chat into a battlefield of flying guilt-trips.

Grandma refuses financial aid to well-off daughter, sparking Reddit debate on parenting costs and sacrifices.

Retired Mom Refuses To Fund Daughter's Baby Expenses Despite Her Luxury Cars And Daily Starbucks Runs
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for not giving help to my daughter with a new baby and telling her to stop acting poor?'

I (58F) have a daughter, Sarah (28F), who just had her first baby a couple of months ago with her husband, Mark (30M).

Both of them work good-paying jobs, and between the two of them, they make more money than my husband and I ever did while raising our kids.

They have a beautiful home, nice cars, and no real financial issues that I can see.

They are literally upper middle class. My husband and I are retired now, living on a modest income, but we get by just fine.

Ever since the baby was born, they have hinted that they can’t do things like going out to eat and whatnot.

Recently Sarah and Mark have been asking me for help. They’ve asked me to cover groceries a few times, help with baby supplies,

and even pitch in for some home repairs because they’re “tight on money” from all the baby expenses.

Last week, Sarah called me and asked if I could give them some money for baby formula and diapers.

I know those things can be expensive, but the way she was talking made it sound like they were on the verge of financial ruin.

I finally had enough and told her that they need to stop acting like they’re poor.

They make more money than we ever did, and when I had my kids, I didn’t get any financial help from anyone.

We managed on a lot less and without any handouts. That they should sell their third car if they are in such a bind.

She got really upset and accused me of not caring about my grandchild and not understanding how expensive everything is these days.

I told her they could afford to handle things on their own, and maybe they should stop spending money on luxuries if they’re struggling so much.

I know for a fact she gets Starbucks each morning. Sarah hung up on me and called me a jerk.

She has involved the family and people think I am being a s__tty grandparent and others agreeing with me

This grandma’s story hits like a sitcom episode gone rogue, where “help me” texts turn into full-blown budget battles.

At the heart, the original poster (OP) is fed up with Sarah and Mark’s financial sob stories despite their solid jobs, spacious home, and multiple cars.

OP, retired on a modest pension, raised kids without handouts and sees no reason to subsidize what looks like lifestyle creep. Sarah counters that baby costs are skyrocketing, painting her mom as unsympathetic.

But OP’s zinger about selling the third car? It spotlights the gap. Why beg for diapers when you’ve got luxury wheels gathering dust?

Flip the script to Sarah’s side: New parenthood blindsides even high earners with unexpected hits like formula shortages or daycare waits. Yet, comments nail the entitlement vibe: daily coffee runs and eatery excuses don’t scream desperation.

Motivations? OP might be channeling “I did it alone” pride, while Sarah could be dodging the adulting memo that kids mean sacrifices. Satirically speaking, it’s like trading a sports car for a stroller and expecting the pit crew (aka Grandma) to foot the oil changes.

Zoom out to the bigger picture: Generational money woes are real. A 2023 Pew Research Center report highlights how millennials face housing costs 3-4 times higher relative to income than boomers did, fueling these family frictions.

 Inflation has jacked up basics. Diapers alone rose 20% in recent years per USDA data, making “we managed on less” feel tone-deaf to some.

Enter expert insight: Renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Conflict is a normal and necessary part of any relationship, but it’s how we handle it that matters.”

Here, it applies perfectly. OP’s bluntness sparked a raw clash, but Sarah’s pleas glossed over shared planning, turning tension into a standoff. Relevance? This underscores a key reality check: Families must navigate these bumps with care, prioritizing pre-baby budgeting while respecting elders’ limits, no one’s an endless safety net.

Neutral fixes? Kick off a no-judgment budget huddle. Tools like Mint spotlight sneaky spends in a snap. If extras like that third ride linger, opt for smart swaps before the squeeze tightens.

Grandmas, swap cash for cuddle time via free babysitting gigs to keep the love flowing wallet-free.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Some argue the daughter and her husband are living beyond their means and must make sacrifices instead of expecting help.

Kami_Sang − NTA - Sarah has the money. The problem is that she and her husband do not want to reduce their spending/savings to cater for their child.

Everyone know that having a child means financial sacrifices and they are not willing to do that for their own kid.

WinEquivalent4069 − I was going to maybe make an argument until you said 3rd car. Why does a married couple with a baby need a 3rd car?

Definitely time for them to actually develop a budget like many couples did in the past when they became new parents.

fruittii − NTA Home renovations and going out to eat isn't a priority its a privilege/fun thing to do.

Having a baby is a responsibility time and money wise that's make you forfeit other pleasures.

Some insist the OP is NTA and has no obligation to financially support adult children who chose to have a baby.

mdthomas − She got really upset and accused me of not caring about my grandchild and not understanding how expensive everything is these days.

It's a shame they apparently didn't think of that before deciding to have a child. NTA

CandyQueen007 − NTA These are things your daughter and her husband needed to figure out before they decided to have a child.

She’s a grown a__ adult with another grown a__ adult as a partner and they decided to create a child. They need to figure their s__t out.

Independent_Tie_4984 − NTA Third car for two people with a new baby begging

(this isn't asking, it's begging, like a kid in a candy aisle) for financial assistance is all you needed to write.

Some acknowledge costs are higher today but still say parents must budget and the OP is not responsible.

ChasingAugustt − I will say it’s hard to compare your means raising kids to their means today, since inflation has made such a big impact,

so money doesn’t go as long of a way as it did in the past. But, with that said - you’re not the one financially responsible for this child.

[Reddit User] − It sounds like they have payments on top of payments.

I have never asked and will not ask for my parents to provide me with what I need for my son, I make sure he has what he needs even...

Tough_Crazy_8362 − Definitely sounds like they’re living a lifestyle that they’re unable to support.

Do not enable them any longer! You’re absolutely correct, they CAN sell their third car.

Some question whether the third car or spending habits truly indicate excess or if deeper issues exist.

lordmwahaha − INFO: Do you have any examples other than Starbucks of her "spending too much money"?

Because I'm gonna be so real, a single cup of coffee every day is not proof that she's wildly overspending on luxuries.

RulerOfNyaNyaLand − INFO: Is their third car just for luxury or is it something else?

Is it a company car that can only be driven for work? Or is it a hobby car?

Mundog − INFO - is it your daughter always asking for money? Or both of them.

There's no possibility that your daughter is being financially abused by her husband?

In the end, this grandma’s “sell the car” mic drop reflects a timeless tug-of-war: bootstraps vs. baby bottles. Do you think her no-handouts stance builds character, or does it ignore today’s economic crunch?

How would you mediate if Starbucks and third cars were on the table? Share your hot takes below!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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