A university freshman braced herself for war when her mom announced a visit after a year away. Growing up, every snack was guarded like gold bars: fridge padlocks, see-through meat safes, cameras glaring at the cookie jar, and zero lunch ever packed.
Hunger was the household norm. Now the daughter’s stocking the kitchen and installing tiny locks of her own, ready to flip the script and starve her mother out for every skipped meal. She’s serving revenge colder than an empty pantry, and Reddit’s howling for her to lock the biscuit tin and throw away the key.
A university student considers mirroring her mother’s extreme food-control rules during an upcoming visit to highlight past neglect.
What this young woman described isn’t “strict housekeeping”—it’s textbook food-related control and neglect that left her hungry at school and terrified of the fridge.
Child psychologists classify withholding food as a basic need as a form of emotional and physical neglect, and unfortunately it’s more common than people admit.
According to a 2023 report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, chronic food insecurity in childhood (even when it’s selective and parent-controlled) is linked to higher risks of anxiety, disordered eating, and trust issues later in life.
The temptation to flip the script is completely understandable. There’s something poetically satisfying about watching someone taste their own recipe. But experts who work with adult children of controlling parents are nearly unanimous: revenge stunts rarely deliver the “aha” moment we crave.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a leading voice on narcissistic family dynamics, explains in her 2024 book It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People: “Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them.”
This stark truth underscores why flipping the script on a controlling parent rarely sparks the epiphany we hope for. Instead, it often invites more of the same denial and deflection that defined the relationship.
In the context of this Redditor’s dilemma, where food became a battleground for power, such unyielding patterns mean Mom’s likely response to mirrored restrictions would be outrage or gaslighting, not introspection, leaving the daughter trapped in an exhausting cycle rather than breaking free from it.
Durvasula’s insight, drawn from decades of clinical work with abuse survivors, reminds us that true empowerment lies not in petty reciprocity, which only perpetuates the toxicity, but in recognizing the narcissist’s rigidity as their limitation, not yours.
A healthier power move? Calmly set the opposite tone from day one. Stock the kitchen, label nothing off-limits, and casually offer snacks like it’s the most normal thing in the world. That quiet contrast can feel louder than any dramatic showdown.
Therapy is also a game-changer here. Many universities offer free sessions, and unpacking years of “you have food issues” shame with a professional can be far more healing than any perfectly executed petty plot.
At the end of the day, the best revenge might just be living (and eating) completely unbothered.
See what others had to share with OP:
Some people say NTA and fully support giving the abusive mother a taste of her own medicine or refusing her visit entirely.
Some people advise against the petty plan because the mother will never understand or apologize, and it will only hurt OP more.
Some people say what the mother did was outright abuse (not “lightly” abusive) and strongly recommend therapy while warning against petty revenge.
![[Reddit User] − I’ve since realised that some of her actions were somewhat ‘abusive’, however I use this term very lightly.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1763695382332-6.webp "College Student Enforces Childhood Food Locks On Visiting Mom To Finally Serve Taste Of Own Medicine")
Some people suggest calmly confronting the mother about house rules or simply canceling the visit instead of revenge.
This whole saga is a masterclass in how childhood rules can echo way louder once you’re the one holding the keys, literally. Would giving Mom the same locked-cupboard treatment finally make her see the light, or would it just torch what’s left of the relationship?
And honestly, is the sweetest victory proving you’re nothing like her… or watching her squirm for three days? Drop your verdict below, would you hand her the key or change the locks forever?
