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Woman Knits And Crochets During Work Meetings, Is It Disrespectful?

by Leona Pham
November 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Managing ADHD can be tough, especially when you’re trying to stay focused during long work meetings. For one Redditor, knitting and crocheting during meetings was the key to keeping her attention, and she had already cleared it with her manager.

But when a colleague raised a fuss, claiming it was unprofessional and distracting, she began to question if she was in the wrong. After all, she wasn’t ignoring the meeting or being disengaged; she was actively contributing while working on small, simple projects that didn’t make noise or take up space.

Was her crafting truly disrespectful to the team, or was it just a necessary coping mechanism for her condition? Read on to see how others weigh in on this complicated situation.

A woman with ADHD knits during meetings to stay focused, but a colleague objects

Woman Knits And Crochets During Work Meetings, Is It Disrespectful?
not the actual photo

'AITA for crafting during meetings?'

So I work in a mainly office setting, and we have a lot of meetings, video conferences and online training which is primarily in video format.

I've always needed something to do with my hands, thanks to ADHD

and if I don't then I cannot focus on things that isnt reading properly (which is ironic bc I also have dyselxia).

I've also been crocheting and knitting since I was little and its something I do a lot while at home watching tv and movies bc it helps me focus.

In Uni I used to crochet and knit in lectures because it helped and no one seemed to have a problem with it - the lecturers actually encouraged it

when I asked and said as long as it helped me focus i could do whatever I wanted.

So I decided I was going to take it into work with me to see of that would help me focus more in meetings and not get distracted during them

(they're very long meeting, going up to 4 hours sometimes, and usually I mentally clock out within the first half hour).

(side note: I had brought up in supervision that I had trouble focusing and my manager was actually the one

that recommended I find something to do with my hands and okayed it)

It worked, I was able to focus a lot better and be more involved in the meetings because I wasn't drifting away.

But recently a colleague came up to me and told me to stop. He said that it was rude and disrespectful towards everyone in the meeting

and our service users whom the meetings are generally about.

I tried to explain that it actually helped me in staying on track and remembering more of the information about our service users but he held his stance firmly.

And its not like im not participating at all, I don't need to look down at my knitting or crochet

because I've been doing it so long and I bring in pieces that are simple and mindless to do.

I also will put it down to write / type up notes and if im talking.

Anyway, my colleague said he was going to bring this to higherups if I continued,

even though I had already cleared it with my manager before I started doing so, and it's gotten me a bit worried, so I need your opinions.

(I just want to preface that the meetings I take part in aren't massive company meetings,

usually there are about 6 -15 of us and it's generally group discussions.

Also where I work is quite relaxed and generally a casual setting (like, we wear smart casual as well) so its not super formal).

So should I stop? Is what I'm doing disrespectful?

Edits / more info: To clear up about the service users - they are NOT in the meeting with us, its only us as professionals in these meetings.

We are discussing them and what we are going to do / our plans, but they are not present for them.

We work with their mental health and im a part of a Therapy team so I am well aware that it would be unprofessional to do so in the presence...

Additionally, the people within these meetings are generally people I see every day, so theyre not all strangers.

ALSO, I keep the crafting on my lap and the projects are relatively small and in one colour

(like socks, hats, squares etc... not big projects like blankets and sweaters), I have a notebook or laptop on the table,

so I'm not taking up a bunch of space on the table and it is generally quite hidden.

When in the in person meetings I crochet so there is no needles clacking as crochet only uses 1 hook.

The knitting is done when im online as knitting is a bit more of a hassle than crochet it

I am not medicated for my ADHD but that has a reason. I have trialed a lot.

I get bad side effects from medication even in general, such as extreme drowsiness and nausea (or some of them just don't even work for me)

and these side affect mean I cannot work a full time job which I LOVE, so I'd rather be unmedicated and have to deal with it myself then be ill...

Thank you all for the recommendations on other fidgets I could use as well, I'll give some of them a try.

EDIT 2: Thank you for all the responses so far, I'll take what's been said into consideration.

I'm going to speak with my manager on Monday and ask if we can talk about it at the beginning of the next meeting to get input from everyone else.

I just want to say quickly to people saying I should just focus and stop being unprofessional by fidgeting in any capacity:

ADHD and other disabilities do NOT work like that.

I can't just focus, I can't just 'grow up', that is NOT how it works.

If you can come up with a way to miraculously make me focus without fidgeting, I'm all ears.

Balancing personal needs with professional expectations can often be challenging, especially when it comes to individuals with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD.

In the Reddit story, the poster (OP) explains that they craft during meetings to help with focus due to ADHD and dyslexia. For OP, crocheting or knitting during long meetings is a strategy that helps them remain engaged.

However, when a colleague raised concerns, questioning whether this behavior was disrespectful, it sparked a deeper conversation about neurodivergence and workplace dynamics.

At the heart of this situation is the emotional struggle between OP’s personal coping mechanism and the professional norms in their workplace. For individuals with ADHD, it’s not just about being distracted, it’s a neurological condition that impacts focus and attention. Fidgeting, such as knitting or crocheting, is a method many people with ADHD use to manage their symptoms.

According to Berkeley Psychiatrists, “Regular physical activity can help those with ADHD by increasing dopamine levels. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in mood, attention, and reward processes. By promoting the release of dopamine, exercise can help manage symptoms like hyperactivity and impulsivity.”

OP’s crafting helps them focus on the meeting, process the information, and stay involved, as opposed to mentally checking out during long discussions.

However, the situation reveals the complexities of professional environments. OP’s manager approved of their crafting as a way to help them stay on task, but a colleague’s view that this behavior is disrespectful highlights the misunderstanding of ADHD and the diverse ways people engage in meetings.

This conflict stems from the differing perceptions of professionalism, where some might see crafting as unprofessional, others may see it as a necessary coping mechanism for those with ADHD.

Psychological insights support the idea that individuals with ADHD often thrive in environments that allow for alternative focus strategies. Ph.D. Ellen Littman, a leading expert in ADHD, explains that for people with ADHD, stimulation from hands-on activities can help them focus by providing the necessary sensory input to keep their brain engaged.

Or thinkADHD indicates, “For those who experience hyposensitivity, sensory-seeking behaviours like using fidget toys or textured objects can help provide the necessary stimulation to stay focused.”

This perspective offers valuable insight into OP’s decision to knit or crochet during meetings; it’s a way to manage ADHD symptoms while still contributing to discussions.

In conclusion, OP’s use of crafting as a coping mechanism is rooted in a need for focus, not disrespect. Understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent behaviors in the workplace could reduce misunderstandings and create more supportive environments.

It’s crucial to foster empathy, allowing employees to find ways that work best for them without judgment, which can lead to better participation and productivity for all.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

This group supported knitting in meetings when cleared with management, stressing focus and participation

Otakraft − Ok, everyone giving you a Y needs to sit down.

You literally cleared this with your manager, it wasn't a surprise to them and as long as you're focused and participating that's all that should matter. NTA

Prestigious_Carry942 − As a knitter, I am with you. As a worker, I'd be very wary of doing this for fear of losing respect.

sun_and_stars8 −  NTA because it was cleared with your manager but you may want to take the extra step to get documented accommodations in place with HR.

You also may want to report your colleagues interaction with you to your manager and HR

These commenters highlighted the potential distractions knitting might cause for others, advocating for clearer communication and possible accommodations

Dapper_nerd87 − If it were a video meeting I’d be with you. However in person is a different ball game.

I also have ADHD and find meetings difficult to stay on track with if I’m not doing something with my hands.

Now I WFH and my hands can’t be seen in the meeting so crochet or a fidget toy works for me.

Usually the latter as I often need to share my screen as well. I would have a talk with your manager and team about four hour long meetings and their...

Even a neurotypical person is probably struggling to stay focused in that time.

Discuss if it’s possible for meetings to be shorter, or adding in breaks and space to get away before coming back.

There are literally studies about this you could use to back your points.

Big-Second-8542 − NTA. Non-neuros will usually not get it. It’s like when I have to make hard eye contact.

I can do it, but I can’t hear/process what you’re saying if I have to hold that eye contact. It takes up all of my mental capacity.

For many, fiddling with something in your hands IS a distraction and a clear message that you’re not engaging in the conversation or meeting.

As a ADHD brained adult, I know exactly how counter intuitive it is, but if I can fidget or busy this other portion of my mind,

then I can REALLY focus on the meeting. Hell, I’ll come out less tired too!

houseonpost − NTA: But your manager needs to clarify this with the people in the meeting.

Otherwise why should you be able to do this and that same opportunity not be given to others attending the meetings.

If I were sitting beside you during a meeting, you might be able to focus better, but to me, it would be a distraction so I wouldn't be able to...

This group recommended using discreet fidget toys or discussing the issue with the manager

xANTJx − NTA. I actually had to read your story a few times to make sure no one in my office was being rude

because we also have someone who knits/crochets during very similar (thankfully shorter) meetings.

It’s not a big deal. After 2 meetings I don’t even notice she’s doing it anymore. Maybe a “cool, new project!”

But then again, watching someone else crochet is only so interesting for so long. You got permission from your manager; that should be the end.

In accommodation land, we like to tell people like your coworker to mind their own business

and if they would like to crochet during meetings to they either need to speak up and ask or go get a disability that necessitates they do so!

onsereverra − NTA with caveats, and I really empathize! I also have ADHD and this is something I've really struggled with.

I play D&D over zoom with friends, and I would be sooooo much more engaged in the D&D session

if I could bring my laptop into the kitchen and do basic rote tasks like chopping vegetables while we play.

My friends don't mind in principle, but in practice they find it really distracting to see me moving around doing other things on screen

(even if I'm muted when it's not my turn). It just sucks because there's no hard feelings involved in either direction,

but by definition either I'm distracted or I'm distracting everybody else.

The caveat being: I think you should go back to your manager and bring up that

a colleague has raised the concern that your knitting/crocheting is coming across as disrespectful.

Maybe there will be some circumstances where a meeting involves higher-ups or external partners or users/clients or whomever else,

and in those circumstances it would be better for you not to knit/crochet during the meetings

because it's unfortunately true that people who don't know you might find it distracting or disrespectful, even though you know it is not either of those things.

But there's no reason you shouldn't be able to knit/crochet during internal meetings with only members of your own team,

especially given that you'd already cleared it with your manager; and it should be up to your manager to decide

when a meeting involves stakeholders who might get the wrong impression from your knitting/crocheting, not up to a peer colleague.

Various-Tank-3201 − Try a discreet fidget toy. I use one I can keep in my coat pocket and I just have my hand in that pocket a lot. Otherwise, a...

I totally understand what you are experiencing (I’m adhd too and hate long corporate meetings etc)

but it does come off as unprofessional and people are less likely to take you seriously unless you work in a very progressive office

These Redditors acknowledged the benefits of knitting for focus

jungleskater − NTA if you cleared it with your managers. However, as someone also with ADHD,

I would find your knitting incredibly distracting for me haha. I can completely see how it would look like you aren't concentrating though.

I would feel unprofessional doing that.

I would take my notebook off the table and hold it so that I can scribble as if taking notes, or have a fidget ring on.

There are plenty of tools for people with ADHD that would still be subtle and not distracting for others. Also, I would be careful.

Whilst your manager cleared it, this is the kind of thing that could cost you in the future.

"We have a high profile client we need somebody to deal with, but we can't have OP knitting in the meeting

and if we ask them not to now they can claim discrimination, so maybe we just go with somebody else."

Imaginary_Kangaroo30 − NAH. I love crafting, and would find it very distracting to have someone knitting or crocheting during a meeting.

It would seem like you weren’t paying attention, which I know is the opposite of your experience.

So, if you don’t have an alternative you can use, I think you need help from your manager.

If they can explain briefly to the group what your situation is, you can just refer complaints back to that discussion.

Be aware that there will be people who think you’re not taking the job seriously.

If you’re ambitious for career advancement, I’d see what else you can use that’s more universally accepted.

Disastrous-Wildcat − NTA. I don’t know how this guy functions in society if something quiet and repetitive is breaking his brain this hard.

I mean, be sure that you’re using needles that don’t clack if you’re knitting (bamboo can be good for this).

But honestly this is functionally no different than anything else you could do with your hands in a meeting.

Brains are diverse and we all use a variety of mechanisms to help us pay attention.

This user emphasized that knitting could be a reasonable accommodation, especially when approved by management

No-Persimmon7729 − NTA this is a reasonable accommodation for your disability and had it approved by a manager.

Honestly if people make a stink you could look into disability law where you live but where I’m from,

you would be allowed as long as it’s not affecting your work.

If others find it distracting they should find accommodations to help with their focus issues instead of messing with yours.

Knitting makes less noise and movement then. Typing or note taking in my opinion

What do you think? Should employees be allowed to fidget or engage in creative tasks to stay focused, or should they stick to more traditional methods of engagement? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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