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Man Refuses To Be Free Babysitter On Family Trip, Sister’s Tantrum Ends Up Canceling The Entire Vacation

by Leona Pham
December 5, 2025
in Social Issues

Family vacations are often seen as an opportunity to bond and create lasting memories, but what happens when they turn into a nightmare instead? For one young man, a supposed getaway turned into another round of babysitting duties for his sister’s three kids, leaving him feeling more like a glorified nanny than a family member.

This year, he’s determined to change that narrative. After a less-than-ideal experience last summer, he made the bold decision to drive himself and book his own hotel room, much to the surprise of his family.

But now, he’s facing backlash from relatives who think he’s ruining the vacation. Curious to see how this family drama unfolds? Keep reading to find out what happens next!

A young man refuses to repeat a family trip where he was forced into unwanted babysitting duty

Man Refuses To Be Free Babysitter On Family Trip, Sister’s Tantrum Ends Up Canceling The Entire Vacation
Not the actual photo

AITA for saying I'll be driving myself and paying for my own room on the upcoming family vacation so I won't have to be a babysitter?

I 23m was repeatedly stuck playing the part of helper

and babysitter on family outings.

I had to move out of my parents' house

because I kept being forced to help watch my three nephews.

Last year we took a family vacation in summer to the coast.

I rode along with my parents, and they paid for my hotel room.

Only, I had to share that room with three rowdy boys

because my sister and her husband wanted a room to themselves.

I was promised time to do my own things on the vacation.

But instead I ended up having to help with these kids.

I complained to everyone about it, and was reminded I was there for free.

And then we pretty much just did only one thing I wanted to do.

Which was tour an art gallery. I like doing this whenever I'm at the coast.

But the kids find it boring. This year my parents have a beach trip planned for June.

And they assumed I'd be riding along the same way as last year.

But I refused. I said I'd be driving myself,

and paying for my own hotel stay to have my own room.

My parents were shocked, and tried to remind me of the cost.

I said it was no worry. I've got a good job and a decent running car.

I can more than afford it. That's when the "Buts" started.

I stated the previously listed things as

why I'll be driving myself and paying for myself.

I want to be able to enjoy this vacation as an adult,

and not be treated like a child like last year.

My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me

that I'll be ruining the vacation if I'm off doing my own thing

while she has to wrangle her three boys.

I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess.

I didn't really get to do much of anything I wanted to do.

And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to just go to an art gallery.

I'm a grown man.I deserve my own vacation too.

Now my sister is not speaking to me, and my parents are still trying

to convince me to just ride with them to keep the peace.

I'm still refusing. But the pressure is getting to me.

AITA for not giving in? I know they'll have a pretty hard time

when they won't have another person there to help.

In family dynamics, the balance between personal desires and obligations often leads to emotional turmoil. The tale of a young man deciding to break free from the expectations placed upon him resonates with anyone who has felt the weight of familial duty overshadow their own needs.

His story reveals a universal truth: the struggle for autonomy can evoke feelings of guilt and resentment, especially when family members rely on us for support.

In this case, the protagonist faced a dilemma rooted in frustration and a desire for independence. He was not merely rejecting a family outing; he was defending his right to enjoy a vacation without the burden of babysitting his three young nephews.

His motivations stemmed from a deep-seated need for recognition as an adult, someone entitled to personal time and space, rather than a mere caregiver. The emotional dynamics of the situation highlight the complexity of sibling relationships, particularly when one sibling feels entitled to the other’s time and resources.

From a psychological perspective, the man’s actions can be understood through the lens of boundary-setting. While many may view his refusal as selfish, it is essential to recognize that healthy boundaries are crucial for maintaining relationships.

Often, when individuals see their siblings as extensions of themselves, they overlook their needs, leading to feelings of entitlement. This phenomenon is common in family systems where one member, in this case, the sister, assumes that the other will always be available to assist without considering their autonomy or desires.

According to Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author, “with chronic talkers, we must learn to set boundaries, a basic form of self-care”, emphasizing that establishing clear limits is essential for protecting emotional well-being.

By asserting his independence, the young man not only protected his emotional well-being but also challenged the unhealthy expectations placed upon him by his family.

This perspective sheds light on the emotional state of the protagonist. His determination to prioritize his own needs does not negate his love for his family; rather, it highlights the necessity of self-advocacy.

By recognizing that he is not responsible for his sister’s parenting choices, he is fostering a healthier family dynamic, one where each member respects the boundaries of others.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters say he deserves a real vacation and shouldn’t be guilted into babysitting

SamSpayedPI − My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me

that I'll be ruining the vacation if I'm off doing my own thing

while she has to wrangle her three boys. That's a laugh.

She's admitting she's ruining your vacation so as not to ruin her own!

They're her kids and her responsibility.NTA.

In fact, you're nicer than I would be; I'd just say "no thanks;

I've got other plans" and avoid the family vacation altogether.

KronkLaSworda − NTA Do not give in. It's time to stand your ground.

This internet stranger is proud of you. Holy s__t.

Never in the history of AItA has there been such a clear-cut case

of Golden Child and S__pegoat, and I've seen some doozies.

I'm a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too. Correct.

Honestly, what are you getting out of these family vacations?

Just go do your own thing and avoid the hassle and stress and pressure to babysit.

Normal-Height-8577 − NTA. And at this point, I would personally be saying "Okay,

you guys have collectively made it very clear

that I'm not wanted as adult company but only as free childcare.

I think we would all be better taking a break from

that dynamic in the interests of preserving family feeling,

and so I will not come on this year's vacation at all.

I wish you guys all the best, but I will be vacationing alone somewhere else this year."

Also? Tell your parents that you can't keep the peace

when someone else is responsible for breaking it,

your sister's determined steamrollering of your time and goodwill is not something

that you can just lie down and take forever.

She is a parent and it's her job to care for her own children.Even on vacation.

If someone does her the favour of helping out, then she owes them gratitude for the gift,

not taking their help for granted

and assuming she can force them to sacrifice their entire vacation time.

No-one owes her that sacrifice.

And no, she doesn't get to palm the kids off on other people overnight, either.

This group pointed out that the sister could hire a nanny for her children if she needed help

75oharas − NTA but if you are paying for yourself go

somewhere else on your own to make it a hard no to babysitting

the_harlinator − Nta.Your sister can pay a babysitter

to come on the vacation if she doesn’t want to deal with her 3 children.

Personally, I wouldn’t even go bc even in a separate hotel room,

they aren’t going to leave you alone about this.

They feel very entitled for your babysitting services.

Chocolatecandybar_ − NTA. It's four persons for three boys,

if they need more help they can hire a nanny.

Plus: claps to your sister, she trapped you in free babysitting

by making your parents pay your room. Wow the entitlement is real

These commenters praised him for standing up to his family and protecting his peace

berriiwitch − NTA a million times over.

If they keep giving you s__t, I wouldn’t even go.

If you do, stay firm when your sister inevitably tries dumping the kids on you.

Or send her links to a babysitting service that’s local to where you’ll be going.

Tell your parents they can use the money they were going

to spend on you for a babysitter for your sister.

BeeYehWoo − Not only is she furious with me.

But she's also upset no one in the comments is siding with her.

Hey sis you're the a__hole. You chose to get pregnant with 3 boys.

Its not your brother's job to babysit.

Be a proper mother and do whats required to take care of your own children.

Your brother chose to not have children and doesnt need to be burdened

with your 3 unruly children but on top of

that your guilt tripping him into watching your kids and lastly,

ruining his vacation by being yoru free childcare.

Your brother is getting the short end of the stick here

while you walk with your chin higher than your nose and expect him to bow to you.

Grow up and take responsibility for the mess you created.

If you need childcare, pay for it. And dont be entitled to anyone else's time.

Your parents are also assholes for catering and fostering this arrangement.

They treat your sister with such deference at your expense.

OP when your parents call, ask them why they do this? OP,

you are NTA but your sister & parents are absolutely the assholes.

Why are you even going on this vacation with these people

will be miserable towards you and angry that you stood up for yourself?

You have the money, the means to take your own vacation and the balls to stand up for yourself.

Leave this raggedy group behind and enjoy your deserved relaxation time.

These commenters urged him to skip the trip and enjoy time without family drama or babysitting

GrannyFantastic − NTA I'd strongly advise staying in a different hotel.

I've seen people get screwed over too often in my day to not plan for the what-ifs.

What if your lovely family knocks, drops off kids, and runs,

leaving you saddled with children you had no part in the making of.

Keep your foot down. Don't let them manipulate you.

One can love their family, and still say no.

Intelligent_Read_697 − NTA but OP why would you even want to go on vacation with these people…

if it were me I would just go somewhere else and take the vacation

This saga highlights the delicate balance of family obligations and personal boundaries. Should the young man feel guilty for wanting to enjoy his vacation without being a babysitter, or is his sister’s expectation of him stepping in completely unreasonable?

Family dynamics can be tricky, and everyone seems to have their own opinion on what’s fair. Do you think the young man’s decision was justified, or did he overplay his hand? How would you navigate a similar situation? Share your hot takes below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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