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Mom Packs Daughter Asian Lunches, Karen Demands She Stops, She Snaps And Tells Her To ‘Back’ Off

by Jeffrey Stone
December 5, 2025
in Social Issues

A quiet playground pickup exploded when one mom ambushed another over her seven-year-old’s lunchbox, claiming the Asian food smelled so bad her own son couldn’t eat. What started as a complaint about “disgusting” odors quickly slid into entitled demands and barely veiled racist jabs.

When the gentle suggestion that the boy could simply sit elsewhere was shot down with fury, the bento-packing mom snapped, unleashing a single, blistering phrase that sent the complainer stomping off in defeat.

Mom defends daughter’s Asian lunch against racist complaint and tells entitled parent to ‘back’ off.

Mom Packs Daughter Asian Lunches, Karen Demands She Stops, She Snaps And Tells Her To 'Back' Off
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling one of my daughters classmates moms to f**k off about what I put in my daughters lunch?'

(No names in this story are real.)

For some context before the story, I (38f) cook Asian foods regularly for dinner and for my daughter, Lily’s (7f) lunches at school.

This is because my family enjoys these foods, I like to cook these foods, and my mom cooked a bunch of these foods growing up since she’s half Japanese.

Often times I’ll either give my daughter some leftovers from last nights dinner, plus a fruit/veggie and a snack,

or I’ll make her a quick little bento box or some other thing really quick.

So, after school one day, my daughter wanted to play on the playground for a bit before we went home.

I said she could play for a few minutes, and she ran off to play. I was waiting next to this other parent, who we’ll call Debra.

While I was waiting, Debra came up to me.

Debra: Are you Lily’s mother?

Me: Oh, yeah, I am, why?

Debra: Well, your daughter’s lunches have been bothering my son, and I would like to ask you to pack something else.

Me: What? How are they bothering him?

She then proceeded to start talking about how her son was complaining about my daughters lunches smelling terrible, and that he thought it was disgusting.

She also said her son didn’t eat most of his lunch because he was so grossed out.

Me: Okay… I understand your son doesn’t like the smell, but can’t he just sit somewhere else?

Debra: Are you kidding me? My son shouldn’t have to put up with whatever crap you make your daughter bring to this school. It’s disgusting!

And she started making more vaguely r__ist complaints, but I was fed up at this point.

Me: Listen, I understand your son might not like my daughters food, but he can very easily just not sit next to her.

I’m not changing what’s in my daughters lunches because you and your kid don’t want to exist near Asian food. F__k off.

She angrily stomped off with her kid then, and my daughter finished playing soon after, so we went home.

I talked to my husband about it, and he said that maybe I shouldn’t have told her to f__k off, to avoid her bothering us in the future. AITA?

What started as a simple lunch preference quickly revealed something uglier: food-based bias dressed up as concern for a child’s appetite.

Debra didn’t just dislike the smell, she felt entitled to police another family’s culture because it made her son uncomfortable. That’s the core issue here: expecting the world to erase differences instead of teaching kids to deal with them.

From the other side, some parents might worry that strong aromas (fish sauce, kimchi, durian) can genuinely overwhelm a small lunchroom. Fair point in theory, but schools have handled garlic bread, tuna sandwiches, and boiled-egg farts for decades without banning Italian or American food.

The difference? Familiarity. Studies on food neophobia show children (and adults) often reject smells they didn’t grow up with. A 1993 study in the journal Appetite found that forced exposure to novel foods significantly reduces neophobia over time – meaning the real solution is helping kids adapt, not forcing one family to hide their heritage.

Ellie Mulcahy, an author at The Centre for Education and Youth, explains how this plays out: “Children can learn prejudice from adults’ unconscious, non-verbal behaviours: most adults hold implicit racial and gender biases and these biases may affect adults’ unconscious, non-verbal behaviour.”

Debra’s reaction taught her son that it’s acceptable to demand others change instead of managing his own reaction. Our Redditor’s sharp response, while spicy, drew a clear boundary against that lesson.

The healthiest path forward is usually boring adult stuff: a calm email to the teacher letting them know Debra approached aggressively, a request for assigned seats if the boy continues commenting, and keeping the bentos coming. Exposure, not exclusion, is how kids learn the world is beautifully varied.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Some people say the mother is firmly NTA for telling the racist woman to f__k off.

hannahkelli − NTA. That woman 100% earned the f__k off. We need to start telling more people to f__k off

when they think that they should be able to tailor their experience of the world by controlling what other people are doing.

StonewallBrigade21 − "But can’t he just sit somewhere else?" Yes, he can. So NTA if you continue to send her with whatever lunch you desire.

baka-tari − You didn't go quite far enough. "F__k off, and when you get there f__k off again."

It's none of their business what your daughter eats for lunch - it's not like you're forcing her kid to eat it. NTA

[Reddit User] − I feel like, F__k off was the perfect statement possible in this situation! NTA

Some people fully support the response and say racism deserves to be called out harshly.

[Reddit User] − NTA, racism should be always be called out and you were right to blow up on her.

Though I will admit your husband could have point as it is a possibility this is not the end of this conflict.

If your child brings up anything about the other lady’s kid bullying her or anything, act on it quickly

Snapdragon5180 − NTA. The issue was already escalated when Debra approached with her r__ist BS. I would have told her to f__k off as well.

punnymama − NTA! ! Unless her kid has an anaphylactic reaction to soy she and her racism can f__k right off.

For that matter even if her kid DOES have an anaphylactic reaction to soy, her racism can still f__k right off.

griffonfarm − NTA. First, Debra is being r__ist. Second, Debra's son is going to have to learn

that things he doesn't like exist and will continue to exist no matter how he feels about them. I'd tell that entitled turd to f__k off too.

And if her brat starts bullying your daughter, contact the school and put a stop to it immediately.

Some people find the situation funny and agree the woman can simply move or deal with it.

breadtwo − as long as you're not packing your daughter with a whole durian, I think it's justified to tell this woman to go f herself

Vegetable-Cod-2340 − NTA She was openly r__ist and aggressive, she gets what she gives.

Op, I would contact the school and your kids teacher and let them know, at point I think the Debra son is sitting near Op’s daughter

cause he likes bullying her about her lunch. Maybe a teacher intervention could prevent further harassment

At the end of the day, one mom just wanted her daughter to enjoy the same comforting flavors she grew up with. Another mom decided that comfort was offensive. Do you think telling Debra to get lost was the perfect boundary or a match that might light future drama?

Would you keep packing the same lunches proudly, or tweak them for playground peace? Drop your thoughts below, we are hungry for your verdicts!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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