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Dad Rewards Thoughtful Teen, Wife Accuses Him Of Favoritism

by Annie Nguyen
December 11, 2025
in Social Issues

Sibling relationships can be complicated, especially on a vacation where everyone is expected to have fun. Sometimes, small acts of care can go unnoticed or cause unexpected friction between parents.

One dad thought it was worth rewarding his daughter for taking time out of her vacation to make her younger brother feel included. When he bought her an $80 dress, his wife didn’t see it the same way, sparking a disagreement about fairness and parenting choices.

Was this a thoughtful recognition or an unfair reward? The situation quickly became a point of contention. Scroll down to see how the story played out and how the family navigated the fallout.

A father rewards his thoughtful daughter on a family cruise, but his wife is furious about the expensive gift

Dad Rewards Thoughtful Teen, Wife Accuses Him Of Favoritism
not the actual photo

AITA because I got my daughter a $80 dress?

My family just got back from a weeklong cruise, and there is still some tension about this.

My wife and I took our 20yo son, 16yo daughter, 13yo son and 7yo son.

Our oldest spent most of his time on vacation doing his own thing,

having breakfast and dinner with the family but being seldom seen otherwise.

My wife and I enjoyed spending time with out kids, but we also did some couple's activities.

There are clubs on the boat for kids, and our 13yo really enjoyed them,

but our 7yo didn't and kept wanting to spend the day with his sister,

who we'd given carte blanche to do her own thing as long as she ate with us and answered when we messaged her.

She was a good sport and took her little brother on most of her adventures, swimming with him,

taking him to trivia and doing the animation classes with him.

I felt like this was very sweet of her and showed a great deal of maturity.

The second to last day of the cruise I took her to the gift shop and told her to pick out

whatever she wanted as thanks for looking after her brother.

She was very excited and ended up picking out a dress. The dress was $80.

She wore it to dinner that night, and when she told her mom I bought it for her my wife gave me a weird look.

After dinner she asked me why the hell I did that. I explained that it was a reward for looking after her brother.

She said we can't buy an $80 dress for our daughter and nothing for our sons.

I said we didn't get them nothing; we took them on a cruise.

My wife said I'm an i__ot. I don't think so. We got some trinkets for the younger boys, about $20 worth of stuff.

My wife thinks I fucked up and said I should apologize to the boys. I refuse.

We took our adult son on a vacation that cost thousands of dollars,

he has no reason to resent his sister being rewarded for being thoughtful.

If we got our 7yo and 13yo a really expensive souvenir,

it would probably be lost or broken. She still thinks I was an a__hole though.

Clarification: A lot of commentors seem to think we asked our daughter to babysit her brother.

That's not really the case. What kept happening was that she would tell us her plans for the day

and 7yo would say he'd rather do that than go to the kid's club, and she would agree to let him come with her.

So it was more just her being a nice sister than actual babysitting.

She always had the ability to drop him off at the club. That's why I wanted to reward her,

because I thought it was so sweet of her not to do that

and to make her brother feel good about his cool older sister wanting to hang out with him.

When a child shows genuine care for a sibling, it can feel like one of the most touching expressions of love a parent can witness.

Most parents remember those moments when a child acts not out of obligation, but from heartfelt connection moments that reveal how compassion develops in the small, everyday choices of family life.

In this situation, the father’s decision to buy his 16‑year‑old daughter an $80 dress wasn’t just about material value. It was a response to her consistent and genuine kindness toward her 7‑year‑old brother throughout a family cruise.

She chose to share her experiences with him, include him in activities he otherwise might have missed, and give up moments of independence to ensure he felt valued and included. The emotional core here isn’t about “who got more stuff” but about acknowledging empathy and altruism in action.

The mother’s concern emphasized material fairness, fearing that gifting one child something significant might breed resentment from the others.

Yet fairness in family dynamics often goes beyond an equal dollar amount; it involves recognizing thoughtful choices that deepen emotional bonds.

From a psychological perspective, prosocial behavior, voluntary actions to help or benefit others, plays a powerful role in social development and relationships.

According to research, when children and teens engage in prosocial acts like helping, comforting, or cooperating, it not only strengthens social bonds but also supports their own emotional well‑being and self‑esteem, benefiting both the giver and the receiver.

Dr. Mary Gordon, a child development expert and founder of the Roots of Empathy program, emphasizes that fostering empathy and emotional literacy in children and adolescents can reduce aggression and promote caring behaviors like kindness and inclusion.

Her programs, studied internationally, have shown that when children learn to understand others’ emotions, they become more predisposed to actions that support emotional connection and social harmony.

Interpreting this insight in context helps clarify why the father’s choice, though perhaps uncommon, wasn’t misguided. Rewarding empathy reinforces the value of caring acts and models for all the children what thoughtful behavior looks like in practice.

This doesn’t mean material gifts are always necessary, but that emotional recognition often carries deep psychological significance, especially in adolescence, when identity and moral agency are developing.

Ultimately, this story invites families to reflect on how they define fairness and reward in their homes.

Instead of focusing solely on equal spending, parents might consider creative ways to honor each child’s emotional contributions while maintaining open communication so every member feels seen and valued without comparison.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors cheered the dad for acknowledging his daughter’s efforts and rewarding her fairly

flmdicaljcket − What’s your wife’s problem with your daughter?

Unlucky_Eggplant_329 − NTA. Your wife sounds like an “everyone gets a trophy” person.

TheSciFiGuy80 − NTA SHE is the one making a stink. It sounds like no one else cared.

Honestly, this was a nice gesture for your daughter looking after her brother.

Scottesq − Just an observation, but it seems like your wife is in that weird competition

that sometimes happens between moms and teenage daughters ( or in my family, my wife and my 18 yo son)

Spallanzani333 − NTA! Your daughter is a gem! The value of her babysitting was probably WAY over $80.

Try to frame it for your wife as her payment for babysitting so much.

It's not a gift, it's something she earned by going above and beyond what you expected of her as an older sister.

Str8FethingSilver − Buddy. Your wife is sending a message that exceptional hard work, accountability,

and responsility arent rewarded. This is how we have so many useless people.

You do not deserve as much as me if you did half as much as i. And vice versa. NTA

These commenters criticized the wife for being unfair, jealous, or overly focused on “equal treatment”

CaliforniaJade − Green flag, green flag! What a thoughtful way to acknowledge your daughter.

You're right, your 20 year old son got a free vacation as did your 13 year old and 7 year old.

Your daughter graciously did a service for the family.

NTA Your wife does not seem to want to recognize that your 16 year old daughter is not the built in baby sitter.

What extra service did her brothers do to warrant extra gifts?

At least she didn't make a scene in front of your daughter and addressed it with you privately.

Just read your edit, I think I like your daughter even more.

No one asked her to watch her brother, she was just nice enough not to say no

when he said he wanted to hang out with her.

redianne − If your wife is concerned about all of her children getting an "equal treatment"

this should also include their responsibilities.

It was very sweet of your daughter to spend time with her brother

and allowing you and your wife to have some alone time.

I've seen this very often (and I have experienced it first hand)

that the women in a family are expected to contribute as caregivers for the elderly and the youngest in the family.

The fact you acknowledge her work is very valuable and sets her a great example. NTA.

GoreGoddezz − NTA. But your wife sure is. Shame on her.

Tell her she can then pay your daughter day care fees for taking care of HER child

if she has such a problem with you buying her a gift. After all, your son isn't your daughter's responsibility.

You did a good thing. Your wife sounds jealous of her own child.

These Reddit users agreed that $80 is a small, fair reward considering her effort and the overall cruise cost

tiredandshort − NTA and $80 for a dress that she can wear many times is so reasonable.

It’s barely even a souvenir, you’re supposed to get clothes for your kids anyway.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your daughter very sweetly provided babysitting so you and your wife had time to yourselves.

The dress was a very reasonable gift and $80 for a dress isn't bad.

Your wife is the YTA if she thinks that babysitting was your daughter's duty because she's a girl.

In the end, the father’s $80 dress wasn’t just a gift; it was a gesture of recognition for his daughter’s thoughtfulness. The family debate shows how even small acts can spark discussions about fairness, gender roles, and parenting styles.

Do you think the father was right to reward his daughter for her efforts, or should parents always prioritize strict equality among siblings? How would you handle a similar situation on a family vacation? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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