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Pregnant Woman Firmly Tells Her Mother-In-Law She Gets No Say In Baby Name Choices

by Jeffrey Stone
December 15, 2025
in Social Issues

An expectant mother’s world tilted when her typically easygoing mother-in-law suddenly claimed veto rights over the baby’s name, insisting it was “her baby” as well. The pregnant woman, bluntly unimpressed by the endless pregnancy hype, calmly but decisively informed her that grandparents hold no authority on names, upbringing, or any parental calls.

The fallout hit hard. A furious outburst with cries of ruined grandma dreams, dramatic social media pleas for sympathy, and relatives piling on pressure for the couple to yield some control to the thrilled elder.

A pregnant woman firmly sets boundaries with her overbearing mother-in-law over baby decisions.

Pregnant Woman Firmly Tells Her Mother-In-Law She Gets No Say In Baby Name Choices
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my MIL it's weird that she thinks she gets "a say" on things relating to my daughter?'

My MIL is mostly a person who is easy to get along with, but for some reason, the lady has snapped after we announced that I'm pregnant.

We let her get out all of her excitement, but didn't really encourage it. She keeps doing this weird thing where she refers to the baby as "her" baby.

If I can be honest... I'm sure it'll change as time goes on, but I find the whole thing rather boring.

Congrats, someone who I just so happened to be married to shot a load in me without a condom, and now I'm knocked up.

It's really not that exciting or interesting, and I cannot relate to women who never shut up about it. It's like the only thing anyone wants to talk to me...

ANYWAY. MIL was over a few weeks ago and started talking names. She told me to give her a list and she'd go through and let us know which ones...

I asked her why that was necessary, and she said "Oh, you know! Just making sure we're on the same page."

I asked for clarification to that, why we'd need to be on the same page, and she started getting a bit cagey about it.

"Oh you know. Just one of those things. Gotta make sure everyone's on board with the name."

At that point, I cleared my throat and said, very kindly but firmly, "There's no reason for anyone else to be 'on board' with the names we've chosen."

She got a bit upset at that and said "Well it's my grandchild! My baby!" I said "No, she's not your baby. Grandchild, yes. But... you don't think you get...

Like... you don't think you get any say in her name, how she's raised, what schools she goes to, how she dresses, any of it, right? You know you're not...

Well, she blew up. Calling me ungrateful (For what? B__ch you aren't doing anything!), snobby, snooty, the whole shebang.

I just got up and said I was bored with this conversation and went to the backyard to go read in the sun

while she melted down to my husband about how I'm stealing all the joy from her and that don't I get that grandma is the most important role she'll ever...

My husband told her to knock off the theatrics and go home, and now she's going all over social media playing up what a victim she is

because, I guess now we're "keeping her baby away" (Which... isn't true? The little f__ker still hasn't been born yet?).

I've had so much pushback from family telling us we need to just get over it and learn to accept that Grandma's going to be around

and that yeah, maybe she should get a say in some things, after all, it's her grandchild.

I'm at a loss here. Maybe this is some weird cultural thing (We're in the Southwest US, everyone is some bland mix of white, no religious stuff other than the...

EDIT: Well, this was certainly a post. I'm glad I'm generally not the a__hole. The s__ist claims that I'm trying to be "edgy" and "not like the other girls" are...

I didn't expect people to get so upset because a woman would dare not think having a baby is the most OMG sacred beautiful lovely thing or whatever.

I hope those of you who think it's a "not like the other girls" thing can maybe get out there and explore what different women are actually like, and not...

Women come in all shapes and sizes, attitudes and personalities. Being one way is not a condemnation of how other women are.

Being bored by childbirth and all of that isn't a condemnation for those who think it's a big deal or a miracle.

Swearing and being inappropriate being "edgy" or "tryhard" is such a very Reddit thing to say about a woman who doesn't behave the way you think she should.

Some of you women need to really reach deep and explore the internalized misogyny.

Best of luck to everyone, and thanks for the kind words.

This Redditor’s MIL started strong by calling the unborn baby “her baby” and insisting on reviewing name lists to “make sure everyone’s on board.” When gently pushed back on, she escalated to claiming rights over the grandchild’s big life choices.

The expectant mom responded with a clear, kind boundary: No, this isn’t your baby, and you don’t get decision-making power here. What followed was a blow-up complete with tears, theatrics, and online pity parties.

It’s not hard to see the MIL’s excitement bubbling over. Becoming a grandma is a huge milestone, and some folks express it by getting super involved.

However, parents have the final call, and overstepping can feel controlling, especially early on. Many new parents worry this is just the start: if names are up for debate now, what about schooling or rules later?

This ties into bigger family dynamics where generational gaps clash. A national study by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found that 4 in 10 parents report disagreements with grandparents over childrearing issues like discipline, meals/snacks, and screen time. And when grandparents refuse to adjust their behavior, 42% of parents limit time together.

Licensed professional counselor Sarah Goodman weighs in on similar situations: “If you cannot maintain a good, healthy, and solid relationship with the parent of that child, it’s very unlikely that they’re gonna let you have access to that child.”

Her point hits home here. While sharing joy is wonderful, forcing input crosses into entitlement territory, often rooted in seeing the grandchild as an extension of themselves.

Psychologist Ebony Butler provides this expert insight from a Vox article: “Here’s the way that we want to raise our children. Here’s the things that we’re teaching them. Do you think you can get on board with this? If not, what is the middle path here?” This neutral advice reminds everyone that respecting parents’ authority keeps relationships healthy and fun.

The takeaway? Early, calm conversations about roles can prevent escalations. Couples might say, “We’re excited for your input if we ask, but decisions are ours.” If pushback happens, united fronts (like the husband backing his wife here) help.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some people believe the OP is completely right to firmly reject the MIL’s attempt to control the baby’s name.

LizzyrdCE − NTA "Well, she blew up. Calling me ungrateful (For what? B__ch you aren't doing anything!)" This made me so happy haha.

Yes, you're right, this is not her baby and she has literally no say in anything to do with the baby.

It's best to put your foot down now because this kind of thing will only get worse once the baby is born, and every phase thereafter.

My parents are totally like this and it's so annoying. They have like 20 grandkids

and seriously every single sibling with kids gets a different variety of passive aggressive, controlling BS to deal with.

They're first criticize the name, then which hospital they're born at, then how they're dressed, then where they go to school, etc. I say, good for you for putting your...

CoffeeHobgoblin − NTA I nannied for a family once where if grandma didn't approve a name, you didn't pick it. They meant business too.

One person almost got wrote out of the will. Super weird. But no, grandma should not get to pick the name. Yikes.

JohnChapter11Verse35 − F the family’s position. It’s your kid. Good for you & husband for standing up for yourselves.

PS... when it’s time to deliver, maybe let hospital security know she isn’t allowed in the delivery room or near your baby.

To quote noted philosopher Han Solo, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Edit: NTA

thatoneredditorbitch − NTA Stand your ground I'm so proud of you! That’s just insane thinking she’d have a say in the name and threw a fit when she didn’t get...

What was she expecting she already had kids it’s your turn. You’ll probably get better advice here though! r/JustNoMIL r/MildlyNomIL

Some people think the OP is NTA and grandparents have no right to dictate the baby’s name.

AiMiDa − New gramma here. NTA and STICK TO YOUR GUNS! ! If I acted that way in front of my son, he would

1) boot me out of his house so fast my head would spin, and

2) block me from all his social media. And damn if I’d ever see my granddaughter. Why? Because I raised him with some damn autonomy.

He and his gf have every right and responsibility to make every decision for and about their daughter.

If they ever ask my opinion, I will give it... tactfully. If I am babysitting her, I follow every rule they have,

even if it’s “go outside and spin around 3 times while saying the rosary before you feed her. ” (Which is not a real rule).

No, your MIL has no say in your life or that of your child. Period. End of discussion.

Others feel everyone sucks because the OP comes across as insufferable and overly harsh.

ComradeDetective − ESH - your MIL for thinking she gets a say in the baby's name, and you for how insufferable you come across.

ETA: Thanks for the hugz, /u/viciousvalk!

ahamel13 − The whole tone of this post makes you sound so completely unbearable that I don't believe you're portraying your MIL accurately at all.

God forbid she get excited at the prospect of having grandkids.

Some believe ESH because the OP unnecessarily crushed the MIL’s excitement despite being right.

MagnorRaaaah − ESH - no, she doesn’t get to name your baby. But you didn’t need to take the lecture the extra mile and stomp all over her joy.

Also, some unsolicited life advice here - you may find your pregnancy boring but I PROMISE you nothing compares to the tedium of mat leave.

The day will come where you will be so damn grateful for some over involved Gramma,

who is more than willing to take your kid off your hands for a few hours - and you are going to wish you weren’t such a jerk to her...

Shanesaurus − NTA, but I hate your attitude.

jellogoodbye − ESH. Nobody in this story is acting like an adult.

This Redditor’s stand highlights how pregnancy can amplify family expectations, turning sweet excitement into sticky situations. Setting boundaries early protected her peace, even if it ruffled feathers. Do you think reminding the MIL of her role was spot-on, or could it have been softer?

Would you give grandparents any input on names, or is it strictly parents-only? How do you handle over-eager family without losing the love? Share your thoughts and stories below, let’s chat!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 41/45 votes | 91%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/45 votes | 2%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/45 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 3/45 votes | 7%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/45 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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