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Devoted MIL Exhausts Herself Caring For Pregnant DIL As Son Distances Himself Completely

by Jeffrey Stone
December 15, 2025
in Social Issues

A selfless mother-in-law poured everything into nursing her son’s wife through a brutal pregnancy illness marked by relentless nausea and vomiting, only to see her own son pull away from all responsibility, leaving her carrying the full weight alone.

The devoted grandmother-to-be took the suffering young woman into her home, handling endless doctor visits, nighttime vigils against falls, and constant comfort during anxiety spikes, while her son limited visits to weekends and fought against more help. Torn by loyalty to both, she finally contacted the wife’s overseas parents to reveal the hidden severity.

A mother-in-law stepped up to care for her pregnant daughter-in-law amid her son’s limited involvement.

Devoted MIL Exhausts Herself Caring For Pregnant DIL As Son Distances Himself Completely
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for no longer wanting to be a caregiver for my pregnant DIL because of my son?'

I’m in a really conflicting situation that requires unbiased judgment because I feel extremely guilty about the way I’m handling things.

Long story short my DIL has severe morning sickness also known as Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and I’m tasked with her caregiving .It is a horrible sickness to have and I...

When DIL was 3 months along my son asked if me and my husband could take her in and care for her because he felt disrupted at work and couldn’t...

I immediately obliged and was happy to help because DIL’s parents are overseas.

Unfortunately my DIL has mild paranoia that stemmed from her HG and thus sometimes feels unsafe and unfamiliar in our house and often shouts to see my son or get...

I don’t fault her for any of these things because I know she can’t help it. I accompany my DIL to her appointments

and stay by her side throughout when she is having severe nausea I also sleep beside her for the night

because I’m worried sick if she’d feel dizzy and fall while getting up in the night for a pee.

We have spoken to her gynae and my DIL is now on anti-psychotics which does make her feel better but she still has bouts of anxiety and asks for my...

Right now my son visits every Friday and leaves on Sunday mornings.

I have asked my son to call her often but he gets into arguments with me saying he doesn’t have time even though he finishes work latest by 6.

Calling her everyday would definitely help my DIL a lot. Besides that I really think having a familiar face would help

so three days ago I asked my son if DIL’s parents could move over from their home country for the time being and stay over at his house.

My son says that would be an inconvenience and he’d have to pay for their living expenses, so I countered that I would chip in a bit.

I was also absolutely shocked to find out that my son and DIL minimized her HG issue and was lying to her parents that everything was still “manageable”.

My son said it was not happening and that he would not be able to function properly with everyone in the house.

I got very frustrated and called DIL’s parents and told them the reality of the situation and they were very disappointed but also concerned and eager to help out.

I confronted my son after the call and he is extremely angry with me and his father.

We both think that he needs to be more involved and empathetic because once the baby arrives it’s only going to be worse and we are getting old as well...

My husband assured me that I made the right decision but my son is pretty bothered by it

and thinks I’m being selfish and is just using an excuse to not take care of DIL even though I've been here for her more than him.

DIL’s parents would be arriving in a week so I’m extremely grateful for that but I still feel guilty if this was the right way to go about it

Thank you to everyone who has responded, I feel overwhelmed about how much more worse this situation could be,

as a mother both to my son and DIL l I feel deeply ashamed and worried about how callously my son behaved.

My plan is to definitely sit him down and talk to him and mention some issues that people have brought up

including how he plans to take care of the baby if DIL is recovering and still mentally unwell,

and whether his actions are just because of stress or if he is really neglectful.

If he has become neglectful I’d support my DIL in choosing what’s best for her.

My daughter in law would always have my unhindered support regardless and she’d be staying with me and well cared for till her parents arrive and afterwards as well if...

I need to reflect and question my son on why he is behaving this way and resolve it as necessary. Thank you once again.

Studies show that hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) affects about 0.3%-3.6% of pregnancies globally, turning what should be a joyful time into a grueling ordeal with relentless nausea, vomiting, and potential dehydration.

In this case, the mother-in-law became the primary caregiver, handling everything from doctor visits to nighttime watch, while her son prioritized his work and sleep, visiting only weekends and resisting more involvement.

From one perspective, the son might be overwhelmed. New parenthood looming, disrupted routines, and the stress of a partner’s illness can make anyone retreat. Yet, minimizing the severity to his in-laws and refusing their help raises eyebrows about deeper avoidance or lack of empathy.

The Redditor’s decision to inform the daughter-in-law’s parents brought needed support but ignited family friction, highlighting clashing views on responsibility.

This story shines a light on broader family dynamics during pregnancy, where support networks are crucial. Paternal involvement has been linked to better maternal and infant outcomes, including reduced risks of certain complications.

When partners step back, it often falls to extended family, straining relationships and raising questions about long-term commitment, like how he’ll handle newborn demands.

Certified midwife Lisa Vagi notes, “When fathers are actively involved during and after pregnancy, it can significantly improve the child’s wellbeing.”

This rings true here: emotional backing from a spouse can ease the burden, while absence amplifies isolation and anxiety for the pregnant person.

Neutral advice? Open family talks are key to express needs without blame. The son could start small, like daily calls or shared care planning. For everyone, prioritizing the pregnant woman’s well-being, including mental health checks, prevents escalation.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Some people strongly criticize the son as selfish, irresponsible, and a bad husband who is abandoning his pregnant wife.

herdingcats2020 − That can not be real. My word. YOU are NTA. You and your husband sound pretty great for helping her so much.

Your son on the other hand is a major AH. An insult to trees. Sorry. But wow on every level is he a selfish individual.

NUT-me-SHELL − NTA. Quite honestly, your DIL should move back with her parents.

Your son is behaving like a worthless a__hole and I don’t see him treating his child any better than he’s treating his pregnant wife.

Aquarius052 − NTA. Your son is using you, and abandoning his wife and responsibilities.

You're doing the right thing. Its time for him to be a man. Don't enable his childish behavior anymore.

TransFattyAcid − NTA Your son kicked his wife out of the house during her pregnancy because of a medical issue and only visits her on the weekends?!

He needs to get his head out of his ass because we all know new parents don't get sleep or quiet time.

This is nothing but the disruptions starting a few months early. You've been great to the point of it being unfair to you.

At most, he should be looking for help during his work day so DIL isn't alone but that's it.

Some people believe the OP is NTA and should stop enabling the son’s avoidance of his responsibilities.

Odd-Metal-3966 − NTA - You're not dumping her out on the street, you're trying to get her the help she needs.

How could he be away from his wife this much if he truly loved her? Thank you for looking out for her, even if its the hard decision you have...

Ok-Factor7627 − First of all, it is EXTREMELY kind of you to allow your DIL to stay with you and that you’re caring for her through these medical issues. This...

Frankly, your son ITA. It sounds like he’s completely pushing off his problems onto you.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions because some people are seriously bad at handling stress,

but I do question his commitment to your DIL being that he won’t even call her while she’s carrying his baby and in a literal health crisis.

This is alarming at best, a bad sign that he’s not very committed at worst. I personally never would have allowed my DIL to stay with me

without requiring my child to stay in the house with her more often than Friday-Sunday.

Maybe it would be hard for him to come more often, but life is hard. He married her, he decided to have a baby with her,

and he needs to grow up and learn how to care for his spouse “in sickness and in health”.

If I were you, I’d give your son a big reality check. Require that he either comes more often (at least 4 nights/week) AND Facetimes his wife EVERY DAY, or...

This isn’t being cruel to her, you don’t even need to follow through (I’m not suggesting you kick a pregnant, ill person out onto the street),

but make him think that you will so he learns he can’t just throw his problems at someone else just because he’s “not sleeping well”.

I fear for you that you will be caring for your DIL and the baby LONG after the baby comes if you allow your son to do what he’s doing...

Good luck to you, OP. You sound like a saint for taking someone in who needs 24/7 care.

But, you need to take care of yourself, and like you said, you’re getting older and probably not as equipped to handle sleepless nights and massive stress as your (presumably)...

Take care of yourself. I hope your DIL and baby stay safe and your DIL’s health improves.

And I hope, for your sake, and DIL/baby’s sake, that your son grows up.

Others express concern about the son’s behavior and urge involving the DIL’s family or questioning his commitment.

McflyThrowaway01 − NTA Your son is more concerned about his sleep and not having to deal with his sick wife.

He won't even call her. Doesn't want her parents involved. Honestly it sounds like your son is messed up, is he having other women there?

Does he have a drinking or d__g problem? Trying to figure out why he has so much of an issue having her parents know

what is happening and having them stay at their house taking care of her?

What does he intend to do when the baby comes? Thank you for being so good to your DIL.

Additional-Tea1521 − NTA Your son is too busy to call his wife, who is carrying her child and has HG as well as a host of other mental health issues?

Not only that, but he has no responsibility for her day to day care because he dumped her in your lap? Are you kidding me?

His wife feels scared, abandoned, physically ill, anxious, dizzy, nauseous, and overwhelmed and he can't make time to facetime her for 10 minutes each day? This is absolute bs.

Obviously he minimized your DILs condition to her parents because

A. He doesn't really deal with any of it;

B. he doesn't seem to care or think you or she needs help and

C. He knows that her parents would freak out if they knew the truth.

Why are you letting your son get away with this behavior? If she needed help,

you could have stayed with her and him so he didn't get a free pass on helping his wife.

I am scared about how he would treat her if she was living in the house alone with him. Because he seems incapable of caring about his wife.

If you can't do it anymore, get her family involved because you can't let him be her sole caretaker.

Neither-Reason-263 − NTA I don’t see why your son would be angry that you’re trying to help your DIL out with her situation, which is really also his situation.

Careful_Eagle_1033 − NTA and... based off the details I'm thinking you guys are of Middle Eastern or Indian heritage, maybe even Asian. Something like that.

Because that's some behavior that I see in my culture a lot. I hate to say this to you ma'am but you raised a crappy son.

HE should be with her, SHE should be at home with him, not pawned off to his parents.

Can't sleep because of her sickness? Go sleep in the living room. Hell buy a second bed if you need to, temporarily.

If you REALLY have to have her stay with you guys then he should at the very least be calling her or something.

I'm going to say it like it is here, he's a crappy son and an even crappier husband to her.

Who WOULDN'T want to be talking to their wife every day when they aren't together in person?

I don't know a single married couple whose happily married that aren't talking at least once a day if they're not home together.

I know this sucks to read and I know it may even p__s you off but he needs to grow up, and take care of this girl.

Or, if divorce is an acceptable option within the families, he needs to let her go

because he clearly isn't grown up enough to be a good husband or father. Imagine what he might do to your grandchild,

'Mom the baby cries too much can it live with you until it learns to stop crying as much? '.

This Redditor’s choice to loop in her daughter-in-law’s parents ensured vital help arrived, easing the immediate load while forcing a family reckoning. It underscores that caregiving can’t fall on one person forever, especially with a baby on the way.

Do you think her actions were spot-on for protecting her daughter-in-law, or did they cross a line into family drama? How would you balance supporting everyone without burning out? Share your thoughts below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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