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Adult Son Confronts Aging Father For Having Young Child At 50 And Leaving Caregiving To Him

by Jeffrey Stone
December 15, 2025
in Social Issues

A 32-year-old father balances raising his lively 7-year-old son while shouldering most responsibilities for his 7-year-old half-brother. Their dad welcomed the younger boy at age 50, but now at 57, depleted energy and a recent health scare leave him unable to keep up.

Conflict erupted when the father, fearing for his health, asked his older son to become guardian if the worst happened. A sharp retort escalated into bitter words, with the son blasting the recklessness of starting fatherhood so late. Silence has gripped their relationship ever since.

Man confronted his father about having a child at 50, sparking family tension over caregiving roles.

Adult Son Confronts Aging Father For Having Young Child At 50 And Leaving Caregiving To Him
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for shaming my dad for becoming a dad again at 50?'

My dad had a baby with his girlfriend when he was 50. His girlfriend wasn't stable so my dad pretty much raised my brother by himself.

My brother is now 7. Ironically my son is also 7. I found it weird and odd and tried to accept it.

My dad is 57 and is more of a sitter than a parent because he doesn't have the energy that I have as a 32yo.

So my brother spends a lot of time with my family. I have always had a very complicated relationship with my dad.

My dad had a health scare and he told me that if something were to happen to him then he'd want my brother to go with me.

I sarcastically said my brother is pretty much with me anyways. He said it's not his fault that he had a heart attack

and I said maybe not but you had zero business having a kid at f__king 50 and it's like your winging it.

He said he wasn't "winging" anything and I said no you're just can't keep up and the whole situation is f__ked up.

We've barely spoken since that conversation last month. I absolutely refuse to apologize to him. It hasn't affected the care of my brother.

Me and my wife probably care for him 60% of the time. He and my son are inseparable so that helps.

Edit: I don't know if my brother was planned or not. They acted Ike it would be the best thing in the world. My dad is broke and poor.

He was seriously talking about homeless shelters if his landlord evicts him because he won't even be able to afford a studio.

Blending families across generations can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when energy levels and health come into play. This Redditor’s situation highlights how unexpected life choices ripple through everyone involved.

On one hand, the father made a personal decision to grow his family at 50, bringing joy but also practical hurdles like reduced stamina. The older sibling, now in his 30s, finds himself in a supportive role that’s grown over time – caring for his brother alongside his own child.

It’s relatable. Many families pitch in when a parent faces limitations. Yet the frustration is valid too: stepping up consistently can feel like an unspoken expectation, straining old relationships.

From another angle, later parenthood often comes with upsides. Research shows the average age of fathers in the U.S. has risen to around 31.5 years, with more men starting families in their 40s and beyond.

A study in the British Medical Journal found that children with older moms had fewer accidental injuries, fewer social and emotional difficulties, and were further along in language development, while psychologist Dion Sommer notes that “We know that people become more mentally flexible with age, are more tolerant of other people and thrive better emotionally themselves. That’s why psychological maturity may explain why older mothers do not scold and physically discipline their children as much.”

This balance is key here. The dad’s choice brought a beloved brother into the family, and the kids’ close bond is a silver lining. But when adult children end up providing major support, it touches on broader issues like shifting family responsibilities.

In some cases, this informal help echoes “parentification,” where older siblings take on caregiving roles. Psychologist Aude Henin, PhD, explains it as situations “when a parent is unable to consistently offer these things, a child may become parentified, and be in a position of having to care for the parent.”

Neutral ground might involve open chats about boundaries and future plans, perhaps with family counseling to air feelings without blame. Many families thrive by sharing loads creatively, ensuring everyone feels valued.

It’s a reminder that while age brings wisdom, planning for realities like health changes can ease tensions down the line.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Some people believe the father is irresponsible for having a child at 50 and not stepping up as a parent.

Ok-Trade8013 − NTA. He's not stepping up as a parent and you are having to do the work.

mlssac − NTA It is what is, right? He chose to have a kid at 50 and your family is having to pick up the slack! You're a good big...

Aggressive_Duck6547 − Been right there AS the child that is related to their 1 year older UNCLE. Dad was "winging it" when he got a child at 50.

He has always been "winging it", and DROPPING it in your lap. He should be apologizing to HIS children/and his grandchild. NTA!

Some people support the OP’s honesty and right to set boundaries in this unfair situation.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If you were still living at home, watching your brother 60% of the time because your dad had no energy,

everyone would say he parentified you and had no business having a kid at 50.

While I kinda agree with some comments that there was no need to tell him this, I don’t think it’s wrong to point out

that his decisions were bad and it’s led to you needing to basically raise your brother alongside your own child.

quantumdreamqueen − NTA. I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes! Gross behavior from your dad.

You have the right to be honest about the situation and the right to set boundaries. It’s not your responsibility to raise your brother.

WishSuperb1427 − NTA - I don't blame you for saying it out loud. This situation is nuts.

When you say the girlfriend is not stable... do you mean financially or mentally or?

I am just asking because I am trying to determine how big of a challenge your dad threw at you here. Either way it sounds a bit rough.

Some people argue that the father’s age is irrelevant and criticizing it is unfair or harmful.

Ok_Examination3023 − There's a lot of great involved fathers that had kids in their 50.

Your father is not taking care of his son but that's not necessarily related to age or is it?

blueeyed94 − ESH If it is like you say and you basically raise your brother, then yes, he is obviously an a__hole for not caring for his son.

But his age has NOTHING to do it with. My parents got me pretty late, too because of some miscarriages between my brother and me and I was more like...

You can pretty much guess how this went in a small village where everyone loves to stuck their nose in everyone else's business almost 30 years ago.

My father was the best father I could imagine and I can't tell how happy I am that my parents didn't listen to those villagers with a similar POV like...

There are people who can run a strong viking with ease with 65 while others can't walk without a walking aid with 45.

I don't know how his health was when they got pregnant. But you have no right to rub his age under his nose when he is:

A) Scared for the wellbeing of his son and

B) His son is already 7.

Do you know how it feels if someone tells your parents that they better not have you because of their health/their age?

You think your brother will never get wind of it but let me promise you something: He will.

Your father can't reverse his decision and trying to convince him to step up as a father (and that's the thing you really want, right?) doesn't work like this

Others suggest a more sensitive approach while acknowledging the OP’s efforts.

expat-turtle32 − NTA - but I don't know if you're going about it the right way.

You want to make sure your brother doesn't feel any tension as it isn't his fault he has an older dad.

I think maybe you need to chat to your dad and work something out because as you said you are looking after his kid the majority of the time.

Just keep in mind your dad might know you are right and hates that he can't keep up with his kid so could be a sensitive topic.

Don't take this constructive criticism as anything but a possible constructive way to approach.

You are clearly a great dad and brother and definitely NTA.

Some people seek more information about the family dynamics.

ChocoTaco82 − INFO: What was your relationship like with your father before he had your brother?

What was it like when you were the age your brother is now? I'll be transparent,

I'm asking this because you seem to be uncaring about your father's current circumstances, as it relates to his health.

Is that earned? Did he n__lect you in some way also? Is he repeating patterns?

This story wraps up with lingering silence between father and son, but the brother’s care continues seamlessly, proof that love persists even amid hurt feelings. It raises big questions: Was the Redditor’s blunt honesty fair, considering the long-term realities, or did it cross into painful territory? How do you balance supporting family without resentment building up?

Family ties are messy, especially across generations, but talking it out could bridge the gap. What’s your take, team honest call-out or team gentle approach? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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