She Was Furious When Her 18-Year-Old Son Got a Job Instead of Babysitting

A mother is facing heavy backlash online after admitting she felt hurt – and angry – when her 18-year-old son accepted a job without telling her first. While she believes he acted selfishly, the internet overwhelmingly disagrees.

The situation raises uncomfortable but important questions about parental expectations, unpaid childcare, financial pressure, and where responsibility truly lies when a child becomes an adult.

Here’s The Original Post:

The mother, 27, lives with her husband and three children: her 18-year-old son and two younger daughters. Her husband works as a pilot and is often away.

Because of her work schedule, she relies on her son to stay home with his younger half-sisters between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m., several days a week.

Without informing her, the son accepted a job during those exact hours.

She says she felt blindsided – not only because he didn’t tell her, but because his decision left her without childcare.

According to her, paid childcare “is not an option,” and she believes her son already has everything he needs since he lives at home rent-free.

Her son, however, sees things differently.

He explained that he wants to save money, become independent, and prepare for community college. He also stated plainly that watching his sisters for hours every day without pay was not something he planned to continue doing.

That conversation quickly turned into an argument.

Why the Mother Felt Betrayed

She argued that her son knew his help was essential to keeping the household running.

She felt he should have consulted her first and accused him of being inconsiderate of the family’s struggles. Her husband supported her, saying the son showed a lack of respect.

Later edits attempted to clarify that:

• The son was “not forced” to babysit

• He “doesn’t do much” while watching the girls

• The girls don’t want a babysitter due to emotional issues

• The parents believe the girls are “too young” for therapy

But many readers noticed a contradiction: if his help wasn’t essential, why was his job such a crisis?

The Son’s Side: Independence vs. Obligation

At 18, the son is legally an adult. While he lives at home, he has no children of his own and no legal responsibility to provide childcare for his siblings.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics:

• Over 55% of full-time college students work while attending school

• Early employment is strongly linked to financial literacy, independence, and long-term earning potential

From a developmental standpoint, psychologists emphasize that ages 18–25 are critical for building autonomy.

Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a developmental psychologist at Temple University, explains:

“Young adults need opportunities to make independent decisions – even inconvenient ones to develop responsibility and confidence.”

In other words, getting a job is not rebellion—it’s growth.

Why the Internet Reacted So Strongly

The overwhelming consensus was YTA (You’re the A-hole) – and not because the mother is struggling, but because she placed the burden of that struggle on her son.

Many commenters pointed out a key issue: unpaid childcare.

According to Care.com:

• The average cost of childcare in the U.S. is $20–$25 per hour

• Five hours a day, five days a week equals over $2,000 per month

That’s not a small favor. That’s a job.

Experts refer to this dynamic as parentification, where a child is placed in a caregiving role meant for adults. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that long-term parentification can lead to:

• Anxiety

• Resentment

• Difficulty setting boundaries later in life

Even when done “voluntarily,” the pressure to comply can still be harmful.

The Girls and the Babysitter Issue

The mother argued that a babysitter wasn’t an option because her daughters are uncomfortable with strangers and have emotional issues.

But professionals strongly disagree with dismissing therapy.

The American Academy of Pediatrics states:

“There is no minimum age for mental health support. Early intervention leads to better outcomes.”

Avoiding childcare solutions because children are uncomfortable only delays addressing the root issue and places the responsibility on someone who didn’t choose it.

Check out how the community responded:

Redditors were blunt:

Many also noted that the son likely didn’t tell his mother because he anticipated backlash, which itself signals an unhealthy dynamic.

Several commenters encouraged the mother to:

While financial hardship and stress can explain the mother’s feelings, they don’t justify them.

Being upset that an adult child is taking steps toward independence – especially when those steps involve work and education – misses the bigger picture.

Children are not backup plans.
Older siblings are not unpaid employees.
And independence is not disrespect.

If anything, this situation highlights the need for boundaries, honest communication, and solutions that don’t rely on sacrificing one child’s future to stabilize the present.

Sometimes, the hardest truth is this:

Doing what’s best for your child may mean letting go of what’s convenient for you.