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Sole Provider on the Brink of Bankruptcy Considers Cancelling Christmas But His 2-Year-Old Doesn’t Care About Gifts

by Sunny Nguyen
December 17, 2025
in Social Issues

For many, Christmas is a season of joy, celebration, and giving. Yet the holidays can also bring stress, anxiety, and financial pressure. According to a 2022 survey by the National Retail Federation, the average American household planned to spend over $1,200 on holiday gifts and celebrations, an amount that can be unmanageable for some families.

This story follows a father and sole provider who found himself in exactly that situation. With maxed-out credit cards, a negative bank balance, and bills looming, he faced the prospect of a Christmas without gifts or holiday festivities for his 2-year-old daughter and expecting wife. Feeling like a failure as a husband and father, he contemplated “canceling” Christmas entirely.

Sole Provider on the Brink of Bankruptcy Considers Cancelling Christmas But His 2-Year-Old Doesn’t Care About Gifts
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Story:

'AITA if I "cancel" Christmas because I can't afford it this year?'

Title says it all, sole provider for family, all credit cards maxed, negative bank balance, upcoming missed payments until my next check, basically destitute for the foreseeable future.

My wife and I usually decorate on Black Friday, but this year I don't want to. The thought of putting up our fake tree knowing I'll have nothing to put...

I would prefer to just let December pass and cut out as many things as I can until I can get my finances under control. Plus, my daughter is 2.

She won't know, care, or even remember one missed Christmas. So, AITA? I'm already a failure as a husband and father, so what say you here?

THIS HAS SPUN OUT OF CONTROL! I never thought my sad man pity party would get this kind of response. I was expecting to be called an a__hole, validate my...

and claw my way out of debt by working harder. I did not expect the absolute torrent of love and support that I in no way deserve or can accept.

INFO (And I am so sorry for not making this crystal clear in the original post): Our mortgage and utilities are paid.

There is food in our fridge and my next paycheck(s) is secure, even though it, too, will all go to bills with none left over for gifts.

I pretended not to notice that we weren't keeping up our pre-child lifestyle without credit cards and I got in over my head

and now have to dig myself out of a relatively deep hole meaning I won't have money for gifts and meals out and holiday gatherings and whatnot for a good...

But, I have a great job and an outstanding family support system who all live close by and know what debt feels like

and will understand if we can't chip in this year with anything but our presence, but it just felt shameful to have the advantages I have and still manage to...

As for all the people begging me to accept help, here is why I can't: I make a good salary. There is no chance of me or my family going...

We have food and will have money for food budgeted into my paychecks, which are secure as my job is secure.

I have an extremely well funded 401k from 18 years of office work and life insurance to safeguard my family. Thank you all who were offering food.

Thank you all who offered to buy my 2 year old's amazon wish list. She's 2 and does not have one.

My wife and I had already decided that she has too many toys and so we had only things like books and a learning tablet in mind for her. She'll...

She already has "stuff". Her close in age cousins live on our street and we exchange toys and clothes all the time and both our houses are cluttered with "stuff".

This was not about garnering pity or soliciting charity. It was my insecurity equating gifts with love that warped Christmas for me. It almost ruined Christmas for me.

Regardless of the vote here, I truly am THE a__hole for that. So please, turn your charity to your communities, your neighbors.

Not some middle class j__off who spent himself into debt trying to prove how much he loved a family that only needed him to be a happy and healthy presence...

You all have humbled me beyond words, beyond charity. You have given me both the perspective and the courage to seek professional help,

both financial and psychological, and hopefully it's not too late for this stupid old man to become a better father and husband.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. His spirit is truly embodied in all of you beautiful and selfless redditors. Never lose the light. Love and cheer to all.

But as you can see, I deserve neither your charity nor your goodness, and I'm going to go disappear back into anonymity now if possible and work on me.

Update for those concerned: I have not ever, even for a second, considered hurting myself. Not once. I'm showing my age here, but Goonies never say die.

Update for INFO, and I hope this answers all the questions people had, as there were many, and so I'm just going to write a bio that answers them all:...

When we got pregnant (after 6 years of trying and failing and treatments and tears) we found out that it would cost us $50 a month for my wife to...

and put our daughter in full time daycare, as day care costs upwards of $1600 a month for even local co-ops, to say nothing of the $2100+ that most daycare...

The solution was for her to "retire" and take up the even harder job of full time mother.

I work 8-5 at a day job and I pick up shifts DJing at a local bar at night and DJ private events/weddings/etc... when I can book them.

My daughter was about to turn 2, and be able to start 3 day a week "preschool" for far less than the cost of 5 day a week daycare, meaning...

I was in the referral process to find a surgeon to do my vasectomy when we found out that despite using birth control, my wife was pregnant again.

We're due in February, a little boy this time.

Utter shock, disbelief, some truly unhealthy thoughts, and finally acceptance that I was going to have to continue to be the full time provider,

as there was no way we could put 2 kids in full time care, so once again, my sainted wife will have to spend at least another 2 years as...

My wife and I are old people(42M, 40F) who tried to have kids earlier in life, but couldn't despite multiple treatments,

and only succeeded when we stopped trying so hard and resigned ourselves to the thoughts of a comfortable dual income no kids lifestyle full of travel and memories,

Bringing one life into this world at 40 after everything we went through was a laugh, only for life to turn around and "bless" me with a second child.

My wife is overjoyed, and I am happy but terrified of how I will afford this. She applied for part time seasonal work to help with our bills,

but the job she was hired for has given her exactly 2 shifts in 2 weeks, and taken one of those shifts away at the last minute due to overstaffing.

She has a meeting with them today to find out if it's worth her time to stay employed there, dependent on if they can actually give her at the least...

We have had joint finances since we were engaged. We don't hide things from each other, we're both well aware of our money issues and have been working on ways...

(Thank you all for the links and sites, I am bookmarking them all!). We have and will keep communication open. It was our promise made to each other 13 years...

Lastly (hopefully, I know this is long) I am humbled by your offers of charity, dear strangers. Truly and deeply humbled.

I cannot accept them, be it out of foolish pride or some other moral driver, but know that your kind words and even kinder offers have softened my resolve to...

I just spent 2 days with co-workers volunteering at 2 local food banks preparing meals, clothes, and groceries for the community,

so if you're one of the many wonderful strangers who offered help, please give that help to your local charity.

I have a roof over my head, and food in my belly, and I could not ask for more, not when I have so much already.

I still dread the thought of lugging that old fake tree out of the laundry room, but my feelings have to come 3rd, here and always.

My wife and daughter need the love and joy that that old tree will bring, and I need to give them everything I can, even if it's the just the...

They deserve to feel the warmth of a festive home, and we already own the damn thing, so it's literally the least I can do.

My presents will be the 1 million pictures my wife will take of our daughter pulling all the ornaments she can reach off the tree and showing them to her...

Our families are close by, and our parents will no doubt do their best to spoil our daughter and I know it will be more than enough.

UPDATE! Wife and I downloaded a budget app and are working with a family member who does financial planning.

I, personally, spoke with someone (a professional) early this morning and in just the initial phone call she helped me realize that I was equating being able to give gifts...

Not being able to afford baubles isn't going to mean I love them less, and I will need to accept that and I will continue to work with her as...

Thanks to close friends with growing kids, we have an embarrassment of clothes and toys to sort through, and wrapping some of these items for my little girl to tear...

My wife and I have plenty of clothes Thank you to all who have offered to purchase things for us. My heart bursts from the selfless and wonderful offers.

But, I meant what I said when I asked you to please point your humongous hearts to your local charities.

I have more than enough "things" and taking things from strangers to compensate for my poor spending habits feels wrong.

It will be a tough few months, but I have a good job with opportunities to grow and am going to work with professionals to learn some much needed budget...

and work with a therapist to learn to accept help from family and friends when the new baby arrives and to be less hard on myself.

I am also going to spend more time with my local food bank, I signed up to help build meal kits this week to be distributed for Christmas in my...

I'm planning on "giving" generously this season, just not in the consumerist sense. I think that's a "new tradition" that my family can and will preserve for years to come.

Even y'all who called me a stupid cunt. Thank you, too, for keeping me grounded. To those of you who have asked how could I have tried for 6 years...

and "not bothered to budget for it once it came" are greatly underestimating how much fertility treatments cost even with insurance,

and how well and truly f*cked American Healthcare really is. We are taking steps to ensure that this kid will be our last, and I actually brought up a__rtion but...

The Financial Reality

The father explained that while his finances were tight, the essentials were secure: the mortgage and utilities were paid, there was food in the fridge, and his paycheck was guaranteed. Despite that, credit card debt and upcoming bills made the thought of buying gifts impossible.

The pressure he felt was compounded by the desire to provide a meaningful experience for his family. He had already planned a holiday full of books, toys, and activities for his daughter, but the idea of a bare tree with nothing underneath filled him with shame. He worried that not having “enough” would make him a failure, even though his family’s basic needs were met.

In a heartfelt post, he acknowledged that the crisis wasn’t about necessity but pride, insecurity, and the expectation that a “good Christmas” requires significant spending.

The Emotional Weight

Holiday stress is often amplified by societal norms. Psychologists note that financial strain is a leading cause of anxiety and depression during the holidays. Dr. Susan Bartell, a family therapist, explains that parents frequently equate gift-giving with parental love and capability, which can create a deep sense of guilt when money is tight.

For this father, the guilt was almost paralyzing. He described the thought of putting up their fake Christmas tree as emotionally painful, even though he knew his daughter, at age two, would not notice or remember the holiday.

The emotional weight extended beyond himself. He worried that not providing gifts would let down his wife, who had sacrificed her career to care for their children. The stress was both financial and relational, a pressure cooker of guilt and anxiety.

The Heart of the Matter

The story highlights the dangerous link between material provision and emotional validation. The father realized that he had been equating gifts with love—a perception reinforced by societal expectations.

Financial experts emphasize that understanding one’s limits and setting realistic expectations is crucial. Overextending, especially during the holidays, can lead to long-term debt and stress that outweighs temporary joy. In this case, the father’s decision to pause and reassess was both practical and responsible.

At the same time, mental health professionals stress that the emotional cost of financial guilt should not be underestimated. By acknowledging his feelings and seeking guidance, he took the first steps toward financial stability and healthier self-perception.

Positive Steps and Growth

In follow-up updates, the father described several proactive measures:

  • Downloading a budgeting app and working with a family member for financial planning.
  • Consulting a professional for emotional support, helping him separate love from material provision.
  • Volunteering at local food banks to cultivate a sense of contribution and perspective.
  • Focusing on meaningful family time rather than material gifts, such as spending quality moments with his daughter and wife.

These steps not only help with immediate stress but also lay the groundwork for long-term financial and emotional resilience.

Lessons From This Story

  1. Christmas isn’t about money: Experiences, presence, and connection matter more than gifts.
  2. Parenting guilt is common but often misplaced: Loving your child doesn’t require financial excess.
  3. Communication is key: Discuss financial realities with your partner openly to reduce stress.
  4. Creative solutions work: Homemade gifts, recycled toys, and shared activities can create joy.
  5. Perspective matters: Volunteering and giving back can shift focus from scarcity to gratitude.

This story serves as a reminder that holidays are shaped by care and attention, not bank balances.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users responded with overwhelming empathy, practical advice, and gentle tough love:

StragglingShadow − A very gentle YTA Decorating with stuff you have wont cost anything but will make your wife happy.

Christmas isnt about presents under the tree. Its the memories you make around that tree with people you love.

Let her decorate if she wants to. Youre also an a__hole to yourself in this post. Listen. Debt cripples people.

It crushes them and spits them out so it has room to gobble up another guy. You arent a failure. You gotta be nicer to yourself man. Good luck.

nomad_1970 − NAH but just because you don't have anything to put under the tree doesn't mean you can't celebrate.

Don't celebrate the presents (or lack thereof). Celebrate the things you do have, a wife who loves you, a daughter who will be thrilled to just spend time with her...

There's absolutely no need to feel shame just because you can't afford things. Edited after some discussion to change nta to nah

Gwendolynftw − Nah but maybe put up the decorations and wrap a toy she already has but hasn’t played with in awhile. At that age half of the excitement is...

wickedkittylitter − NAH. There's nothing wrong with scaling back your holiday because of financial problems. Put your daughter's name on a list at a social agency for a gift.

The Angel Tree or something similar. Keep an eye and ear out for various charities that give away turkeys and other ingredients for a holiday meal.

Financial problems happen and there's nothing to be ashamed of, but don't completely cancel everything. It's just not necessary.

This year, concentrate on spending time together as a family instead of on gifts and buying things.

Put the tree up, listen to music if you like it and enjoy your daughter and her sense of excitement that comes from colored lights.

HellaHighAtHogwarts − YTA- but I say that gently. Your kiddo is only two. You can make the best Christmas with very very little. You have a month to look on...

Do you have Nextdoor in your area? We’ve gotten a bunch of free stuff for the kids that neighbors give away. Check garage sales.

My oldest thinks he’s the king of the world if we give him $5 and take him to the dollar store. It’s all junk that ends up trashed eventually from...

Stream a Christmas movie and have cocoa. If you have access to a printer, print a bunch of Christmas coloring pages and have a color party.

Walmart has $1 bathtub paint that’s basically soap. Don’t be so hard on yourself. There will be plenty of Christmases where you can go all out and those will be...

Redditors have weighed in with empathy, advice, and encouragement, discussing everything from the emotional toll of financial strain to practical ways to create a magical, gift-light holiday for young children.

ajo31 − YTA not because you don’t have money to buy gourds but because you’re making the holiday about only material things.

Honestly this is the perfect way to teach your daughter that Christmas isn’t about the presents you get but that it’s about family and who you’re with.

Let her help you decorate. Bake some cookies. Watch Christmas movies. That’s what Christmas is about.

Spending time together. Don’t deprive her of a learning experience. We need more kids who grow up without only wanting and valuing material things

frozen_hell66 − What's that sub.. r/randomactsofchristmas

[Reddit User] − INFO - have you talked to your wife about this? Christmas isn't about presents, it's a time you should spend with your family. Find the joy in...

[Reddit User] − NTA two year olds get toys and play in the box. If you must get something, find the biggest cardboard box you can (FREE! ) and get...

Line it with some pillows and blankets from home so it's cozy and familiar, decorate it if you're crafty. The holidays are about sharing time with those we care about.

Your time is the greatest gift you can give someone, especially your kids.

CassandraCole − YTA I sympathize but, (assuming your wife wants to celebrate) why punish your wife and daughter for this bad situation? Xmas isn't supposed to be about money.

Maybe if you focus on the non-presents stuff and try to have fun as a family, it will make you feel a bit better too. Of course, if your wife...

Just keep in mind that you're not going to be able to avoid running into Xmas stuff outside the house.

Seems like it would be more depressing to go from festive cheer outside to nothing inside (if you normally would be celebrating), but maybe that's just me.

[Reddit User] − YTA if you handle it like the holiday is cancelled and completely skip it. Your wife and 2 year old will still enjoy a family oriented Christmas....

If you can swing like $5, go to Dollar Tree and buy like a coloring book, a toy, some brownies or cookies, a kids book, and a jigsaw puzzle or...

NinjaTurtleFan2 − YTA if you don’t talk to your wife about this. Christmas isn’t about gifts, I came from a.

Family that had many canceled christmases, it happens, just talk to her, you guys have more important s__t to worry about than a few gifts. It gets better man! I...

Find a way to set a budget, go see a financial attorney, you’ll get through this and you are NOT a failure as a husband or a father.

S__t piles up real fast, when me and my ex were near the end of our marriage I was totally strapped for cash paying for everything, but you know what...

Did she get a lot of gifts? No, but I made sure she has the best f__king Christmas I could by playing with her all day.

I promise you your child won’t care. DM me if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’ve been there, it isn’t easy and sometimes just venting to a stranger...

tardis_blue_eyes − NAH. You are absolutely not a failure as a husband and father. You're working hard to provide for your family and trying to bring down your debt.

Please know that to your family you are worth infinitely more than the size of your bank account.

Do what you need to do for you, and see if there's anyone you can talk to as you navigate this difficult time in your life. This too shall pass

ZombieWinehouse − NAH but local food banks, Salvation Army, even local unions hand out free toys and gifts for families in need. Just bc you cannot afford gifts doesn’t mean...

mowiiness − Nah. My grandma would tell me about her Christmas as a child. She said that all they had for Christmas was a small bag of oranges.

They left it in the car for a few minutes and someone stole it. Christmas is not about presents. It’s about being with people you love. Maybe make gifts, and...

It doesn’t have to be super fancy.

Financial hardship does not define love, parenting, or marital success. While the pressure to provide a lavish Christmas can be intense, a meaningful holiday can be crafted with creativity, presence, and emotional engagement.

This father’s story shows that acknowledging limitations, seeking guidance, and prioritizing family time can transform stress into gratitude and connection. In the end, Christmas is about shared moments, laughter, and love -not the price tag attached to them.

Even when money is tight, joy and warmth are always affordable.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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