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Father Cuts Off Daughter’s College Fund After She Chooses Bio Mom, Until She Discovers Truth

by Jeffrey Stone
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

A dad slashed his 18-year-old daughter’s college fund the moment she decided to move in with her long-vanished biological mother, igniting a devastating family explosion that threatened to destroy everything they had built.

Yet the shocking reversal came swiftly: the bio mom revealed her true colors through crippling rent demands and a brazen $10,000 theft, crushing dreams and driving the remorseful teen straight back into her dad’s arms for emotional apologies, heartfelt reunion, renewed funding, and legal action against the deceitful intruder.

A father reconciles with his daughter after she learns her absent mother’s true intentions.

Father Cuts Off Daughter's College Fund After She Chooses Bio Mom, Until She Discovers Truth
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for Cutting Off My Daughter’s College Fund After She Chose Her Deadbeat Bio Mom?'

I’m a single dad to my 18-year-old daughter, Emma. Her bio mom left us when she was young,

and I’ve raised her with the help of my wife, who has been a wonderful mother figure.

Recently, Emma started reconnecting with her bio mom, and I initially supported this, hoping it would be a positive experience.

However, it quickly became apparent that her bio mom hadn’t changed.

Emma began making excuses for her and started exhibiting increasingly hostile behavior toward my wife.

She would say things like, “Maybe I’ll just move in with my mom and leave you both behind,” and “You’re not my real mom anyway, so what do you care?”

It escalated to threats where she implied she would ruin our lives if we tried to stop her from pursuing this relationship.

During a heated argument, Emma expressed her desire to move in with her bio mom. This was the breaking point for me.

Feeling that I needed to set boundaries, I decided to cut off her college fund and told her she had to leave our home.

Since then, my family has been vocal about their disapproval. They believe I should have been more understanding and that I overreacted.

Some even argue that I’m pushing her further away and harming our relationship permanently.

They think I should have tried harder to support her rather than resorting to such drastic measures.

AITA for taking this step, or was I justified in cutting her off?

EDIT: My daughter also accused me of always loving my wife over her but it was the other way round.... her biological mother abandoned us and now she confides in...

Edit: So a lot of u have been advising me to give her the college fund and I think I agree.

I shall give her the college fund but I will not ask her to come back to me. That's her own free will ig.

Update 1: Thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. I didn’t expect to have an update so quickly, but a lot has happened in just the past few...

About an hour after I posted, I got a message from Emma asking if we could meet up.

She suggested a nearby coffee shop, and although I was unsure of what to expect, I agreed to meet her.

When I arrived, I could tell right away that something was different. Emma looked exhausted and stressed, not at all like the confident person who left our home.

She told me that her time with her bio mom had been a disaster. Not only had her mom treated her coldly,

but she also demanded an exorbitant amount of money for rent—far more than Emma could afford.

It became clear to Emma that her mom wasn’t interested in having a real relationship with her, just in using her for financial gain.

Emma was visibly upset as she apologized for the way she had treated me and my wife.

She admitted that she’d made a huge mistake and asked if she could come back home.

It was obvious she was genuinely remorseful, and she said she realized now how much we had done for her.

I told her that I’m willing to work on rebuilding our relationship, but it’s going to take time and effort on both sides.

We discussed setting some boundaries and working through the issues that led to all of this in the first place.

She agreed, and we left the coffee shop with a plan to move forward, one step at a time.

It’s not going to be an easy road, but I’m hopeful that we can heal from this and come out stronger on the other side.

I’m still processing everything, but I’m relieved that Emma wants to make things right.

I also agreed to pay for her college and she is really happy now btw.

EDIT: DELETING POST IN 24 HRS. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT... I COULD NOT REPLY TO ALL THE COMENTS BUT I READ EM ALL.

UPDATE 2- First of all I would like to thank everyone who have commented on this post...it has helped me a lot. I thought it was the end of it...

A day after Emma and I reconciled, her bio mom showed up at our house.

I didn’t expect her to come here, but she was furious, screaming about how I had “taken her daughter away” and how I was trying to turn Emma against her.

She was completely out of control, and it quickly became clear that she wasn’t going to leave peacefully.

I tried to calm her down, but nothing worked, so I had no choice but to call the cops.

When the police arrived, Emma was visibly shaken. As they escorted her mom away, Emma asked me to press charges.

She was done with her mom’s manipulations and wanted to protect herself from any further harm.

While we were dealing with the fallout, Emma mentioned that her bio mom had access to her credit card.

We decided to check her account, and that’s when we discovered something shocking—her mom had taken out $10,000 without Emma’s knowledge. We were both stunned and heartbroken.

After reporting the theft to the police, we started doing some digging of our own. We found out that Emma’s bio mom was drowning in debt.

She’d been using Emma as a financial lifeline, which explained the outrageous demands for rent and the recent theft.

She was desperate and willing to do anything to get her hands on more money.

We provided all the evidence to the police, and they’re now investigating her for fraud.

Emma is devastated but also relieved that the truth is coming to light.

We’re working with the bank to try to recover the stolen money, and I’ve hired a lawyer to help us navigate the legal process.

This whole situation has been incredibly tough on Emma, but she’s been strong through it all.

We’re focusing on moving forward and rebuilding trust. I’m grateful that she came back home when she did

because who knows how much worse things could have gotten if she’d stayed with her mom any longer.

It’s going to take time to heal from all of this, but we’re on the right path now.

Emma knows she has our full support, and we’re committed to helping her get through this.

I’m just glad we caught on to what was happening before it was too late.

This Redditor’s story shows us the raw pain of blended family dynamics, where loyalty conflicts can pull everyone in different directions. The daughter, grappling with abandonment issues from her early years, lashed out at her stepmom while idealizing her bio mom. Classic teen rebellion mixed with unresolved hurt.

Dad’s impulsive cutoff during the heat of battle aimed to set boundaries, but it risked deepening the rift, as many comments pointed out.

From one side, his reaction stemmed from years of sacrifice and feeling betrayed. From the other, a young adult testing independence shouldn’t lose future opportunities over temporary turmoil.

Motivations run deep: kids often chase the “what if” of a missing parent, hoping to fill emotional gaps, while parents protect the stable home they’ve built.

Broadening out, parental absence, whether through abandonment, divorce, or other reasons, can leave lasting marks on children, increasing risks of emotional challenges.

Research shows father absence, for instance, correlates with higher infant mortality risks and potential behavioral issues later on. Yet reunions don’t always heal. They can stir confusion if the absent parent hasn’t changed.

In this case, the bio mom’s reappearance acted like a spark in dry tinder, igniting Emma’s buried questions about why she was left behind. Teens often romanticize the missing piece of their family puzzle, building fantasies that reality rarely matches. When those dreams crashed against cold demands for money and outright theft, the illusion shattered fast.

Dad’s initial hard line, though born from hurt and exhaustion, could have locked the door permanently. Luckily, his willingness to meet halfway at that coffee shop opened it again.

Giving space without total abandonment let Emma learn the hard truth on her own terms, strengthening her appreciation for the steady love she’d nearly thrown away. Forgiveness flowed both ways, proving that even deep cracks can mend with time and honesty.

Psychologist Joshua Coleman notes on estrangement and reconnection: “From that perspective, adult children need to go slowly and be in charge of the terms; the psychological territory they’re attempting to navigate is more complex.” This rings true here. The daughter’s quick return after reality hit shows the value of space over ultimatums.

Neutral ground? Conditional support, like tying funds to respectful behavior or therapy, might encourage growth without full withdrawal. Family counseling can unpack loyalty binds, where kids feel torn between parents.

Ultimately, patience and open chats pave the way. Many families rebound stronger, as this one did.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people advise letting the daughter experience the bio mom’s true nature on her own while remaining supportive.

MalachiteEclipsa − Just let her figure out that her bio mom is a piece of s__t that's the best way to go about it

sun4moon − As a mother and a child that grew up without one, it’s very normal to want to know your mother.

I made extra sure to always be available for my kids. Also wasted a lot of time trying to have a relationship with my mother.

It didn’t work, but it was something I had to learn in my own. Best advice you could have had before the update would have been to let her go...

Support your daughter. It’s not a you vs bio mom situation. Show your kid you’ll always show up.

That’s where the fruit of your relationship develops. I’m glad to see you are moving in the right direction.

ComparisonFlashy8522 − Dude, you had better be there waiting with open arms when her bio mum does the dirty on her.

She's still a silly impressionable kid, let her be with her bio mum until it gets all too much. I give it 6 months.

What does your wonderful mother figure of a wife think you should do?

Or are you both already making plans to spend up your daughter's college funds?

Some people suggest calm communication, treating her as an adult, and addressing unresolved abandonment issues.

Longjumping-Lab-1916 − I don't think during a heated argument was the time to tell her that - it just makes you look impulsive and not in control.

When she started bring rude and disrespectful was the time for you to sit her down and have a stern conversation about her behaviour and her words.

Her bio-mother is clearly a bad person and a bad influence and you should be very concerned.

Yes you're hurt but for now put that hurt aside because you need to get your daughter back on track.

When you feel you've cooled down, contact her and tell her you'd like to meet. Go to a neutral place -just the two of you.

Explain how what she's been saying to your wife and you has been inappropriate, mean and hurtful and you won't tolerate being treated that way.

Ask her what made her say those things. Tell her it's her choice to be in touch with bio-mom

but she should ask herself why her behaviour has changed for the worse.

Tell her she's 18 and can make this choice for herself but she should think long and hard about who her allies are in her life.

That if she chooses to leave you behind, you can't stop her. Basically treat her like an adult.

By putting that out there it takes the power of her threats away.

I suspect it will make her rethink things and she's going to soon see exactly what kind if a person bio-mom is.

Treat this time she's spending with her mom as a detour rather than a new direction. Don't give up on your daughter at this point.

No doubt she has a lot of unresolved pain around being abandoned by her mother at a young age and she trying to win back her bio-mother's love and affection.

Of course it won't work. But bio mom is probably good at manipulation.

Please be there for your daughter. She's still a teen and is making a bad decision, as teens often do. Mild YTA.

Commander-of-ducks − We all do stupid things in life that we regret. This was hers. She's still a kid and her acts really aren't surprising.

She's hurting over what relationship she hoped she could have with her birth mother. Good luck to both of you. Take care!

Others criticize cutting off the college fund and urge continuing financial support for education.

Candid-Quail-9927 − By cutting out her college fund you are impacting her future. I know you are upset,

but your daughter is only 18 and clearly she has issues with your current marriage.

I know you are deeply hurt, but if it was me I would still pay for her school the way you intended all along.

Your daughter will see this as proof that she is right about you not loving her.

I would not give her the money outright, but would pay for tuition and let bio mom house her so she can see her for what she is.

EconomicsWorking6508 − Making her scrape and claw to find a way to get a degree isn't smart on your part.

Your daughter is behaving badly but her whole career and lifetime earnings will be at risk if you deny her your help with her education.

Get some family therapy together with your wife and daughter. Play the long game. You will win in the end.

Some express skepticism about the full story or question the OP’s motives and timing.

nearer_still − During a heated argument, Emma expressed her desire to move in with her bio mom. This was the breaking point for me.

Feeling that I needed to set boundaries, I decided to cut off her college fund and told her she had to leave our home.

INFO: Why was this of all things the breaking point? It kind of sounds like you wanted to beat her to the punch of whether she moved out of your...

sevenfourtime − I have a feeling that we are missing a substantial portion of this story, such as Emma’s perspective.

Father defends stepmother. Teenager daughter threatens to go to bio mom.

Father threatens to cut off college fund. Too much missing to render a verdict.

Consistent-Tip-7819 − Maybe consider the fact that she's 18. When kids become adults,

they naturally push away their family and have an intense desire to leave the nest and become the king of their own pride.

I mean that's the point. And since in many ways they're kids, they still don't know how to do that in a healthy way.

Cutting her off is selfish, ridiculous, and disconnected from real life... but, hey you'll get support for than on Reddit,

because people who have successfully raised kids through this transition aren't the ones replying.

This wild family saga wraps with hope amid the chaos: a daughter’s eyes opened to true support, a dad’s boundaries tested then softened, and ties rebuilt step by careful step. In the end, reconciliation shone through apologies, restored college plans, and cutting toxic influences, like pressing charges on the bio mom’s theft.

Do you think dad’s initial cutoff was a fair boundary in the heat of loyalty drama, or too harsh for an 18-year-old chasing ghosts? How would you balance protecting your home while giving space for tough lessons? Share your thoughts, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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