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Parents Sell Their Daughter’s Car After Discovering She Was Texting While Driving

by Leona Pham
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

When parents give their children a car, it often comes with the expectation of responsibility, and sometimes, those expectations are tested.

In this case, a father found out his daughter had been texting and driving, despite agreeing to strict rules when the car was bought. In response, he made the tough decision to sell the car, believing actions should have consequences.

This decision has caused an uproar in the family, with his daughter feeling the loss deeply and her grandparents accusing him of being too harsh. Was the father right to stand firm, or did he take things too far? Continue reading to find out how others are reacting to this high-pressure situation.

A man wonders if he’s wrong for selling his daughter’s car after discovering she was texting and driving

Parents Sell Their Daughter’s Car After Discovering She Was Texting While Driving
not the actual photo

'AITA for selling my daughter's car after discovering her texting & driving?'

When my daughter was 14, wife and I decided we would buy a car for her to use on her 16th

if she proved herself to be responsible, got good grades, etc.

There would be a "contract" of sorts to ensure we were all on the same page.

The stipulations were continuing good grades, good attitude, she could only bring one friend with her somewhere (to begin with),

we had to know where she was, and the obvious two: don't drink & drive, and don't text and drive.

We made it clear that we were buying the car, but it was for her to use. We got the car, a 2012 Honda Civic.

She has a summer job right now, it's summer break so she's out doing stuff with her friends, etc.

In a few months she will be off to college. Everything was going swimmingly.

Until someone on that NextDoor app started posting pictures and videos of bad drivers in the area.

And lo and behold, my daughter was posted with her face down as she texted and rolled through a stop sign.

Once with her face down in her phone at a stoplight. I was livid.

My wife was the one who showed it to me. We found out there were more instances (from her Instagram Stories) and we decided... no.

Wife and I up and sold the car. We didn't lose very much in the process, except of course our daughter completely came unraveled.

It's so unfair, I didn't hurt anyone, everyone's doing it, how am I supposed to get to work, what about when I go to college?

Well, we said no, it's not unfair, you hurt us by being a s__tty, irresponsible driver, no,

not everyone's doing it, you can walk, ride your bike, or take the bus, and as for college,

you don't need the car to get to and from classes, and again, ride your bike or walk.

She tried to play the "how can you send your daughter to college without her safety in mind?" card

and I said "Well, well, well, now you're concerned about safety?" and she just up and screamed.

This has everyone in our life up in arms and divided.

Her grandparents think we're being over the top and awful, that grounding her would have sufficed.

They've threatened that THEY will buy her a car again if we try to send her to college without one.

The car is already sold, so there's no going back. I think what we did was absolutely correct, that actions have consequences

and we would be in the wrong to pull back from that. In terms of her going to college? Well, she made that choice.

She had a car, it came with certain stipulations, she disobeyed us, and now she pays the price. So AITA?

The OP’s decision to sell their daughter’s car was a direct reaction to her disobedience of a key rule, texting and driving. From the OP’s perspective, their actions are about setting firm boundaries and teaching a hard lesson about the real-world consequences of risky behaviors, like texting while driving, which can have life-altering outcomes.

It’s clear that for the OP, the car wasn’t just a reward but a privilege tied to trust and accountability. By violating that trust, the daughter forfeited her right to that privilege.

The OP’s emotional response is understandable. As a parent, watching your child make reckless decisions, especially when those decisions could have serious, irreversible consequences, can be deeply frustrating and scary.

Texting while driving is an undeniably dangerous habit, and it’s easy to see why the OP would react so strongly. They wanted to protect their daughter, but in doing so, they also wanted to ensure she learned the lesson that actions have real-life consequences.

This is a situation that many parents may identify with, the need to balance empathy with the responsibility of preparing a child for adulthood in a world full of real dangers.

Psychologically, the decision to remove the car can be viewed through the lens of behaviorism, particularly the concept of positive and negative reinforcement. By removing the car, the OP is trying to teach their daughter that breaking an agreement comes with significant consequences.

According to Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, consequences like this are not only appropriate but necessary. She states, “Setting firm boundaries and following through with them helps children understand that their actions have consequences, which builds self-regulation and respect for others.”

This advice clarifies why the OP’s actions, while seemingly harsh, are grounded in a desire to cultivate responsibility in their daughter. Removing the car may have been an extreme measure, but the behavior in question, texting while driving, is a major issue.

By making this difficult decision, the OP is showing that safety and accountability come before convenience. While it’s understandable that the daughter is upset, this situation reflects the tough love that many parents feel is necessary when raising teenagers who are soon to face even greater responsibilities in the adult world.

The challenge here lies in how both sides interpret the situation. The daughter feels betrayed, and the grandparents believe the OP is overreacting, but the OP’s firm stance is rooted in their desire to instill a sense of responsibility.

Ultimately, this is a teachable moment, not just for the daughter, but also for the OP, who will need to navigate how to set boundaries while fostering open communication. By sticking to their decision, the OP is reinforcing the message that safety and responsibility are non-negotiable.

In conclusion, while it’s clear the situation has caused a great deal of emotional turmoil, the OP’s decision may be seen as necessary in the long-term development of their daughter’s character. Though extreme, this response teaches her an invaluable lesson about the risks of texting and driving and the importance of following rules set out of concern for her safety.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters strongly support the OP, agreeing that the punishment (selling the car) is reasonable, especially considering the daughter’s behavior and the need to set boundaries

Fleetdancer − NTA. Frankly I admire your restraint.

manualLurking − Her grandparents think we're being over the top and awful, that grounding her would have sufficed.

They've threatened that THEY will buy her a car again if we try to send her to college without one.

You better shut that s__t down immediately.

You and wife have done a good job and the punishment seems proportionate imo. distracted driving Kills. Full Stop.

Old people love to spoil their relatives because it makes them feel involved.

Also it sounds like there might be some deeper need to undermine your authority as parents.

Hopefully, it isnt malicious and just misplaced desire to care for their granddaughter. NTA

edit: This hastily written comment got a lot of attention.

On the off chance OP decides to look back through this, I wanted to add a some comment to explain what I was saying.

1) Daughter certainly is an adult and can accept whatever gifts she wants.

I never really meant that OP should legally shut down the grandparents.

I simply meant to meet with them and set them straight on the facts of distracted driving, and the extent to which daughter violated valid expectations.

Make it clear that they could potentially do some serious damage to your relationship

with your daughter and that they should stay out of it no matter their intentions.

Escalating things by threatening to withhold tuition payment, as some have suggested,

would just drive a much deeper wedge between them all.

2) I feel your punishment was fair but ultimately limiting.

As others pointed out, heavy restrictions placed on her use of the vehicle could have been better long term.

Could have given her a chance to earn it back and truly learn a lesson rather than build resentment.

Theoretically its not too late to do that. Perhaps an agreement that, with good grades, the parents could buy a newer car for the following year.

Perhaps, due to her record, if she wants the car, she will have to pay for the insurance.

Jenla13 − NTA, and her sense of outrage and entitlement instead of shame and contrition at getting caught

in the act should only reaffirm you made the right choice. She’s not sorry, she’s pissed.

If it were me, I’d need to see a major and GENUINE attitude upgrade before even considering relenting

AND I’d be telling the grandparents that until she’s 18 there’s no way she’s driving a car from them either...

and then they can put her on their insurance.

Sometimes you have to do unpopular things to teach your kids important lessons and help protect them from their own bad choices.

They should be supporting you, not undermining you. Ugh.

fatboyfat1981 − NTA- actions have consequences.

Doesn’t stop you from buying her another car in the short/medium term future if she can show she’s learned from what happened

AbsentGlare − NTA. Your daughter is being naïve. This is natural for her.

But she needs to understand, it doesn’t matter that no one was hurt, what matters is that someone could have very easily been hurt.

She is wielding a deadly weapon, and she has consciously chosen to wield

it with reckless disregard for the safety of those around her: your friends and neighbors.

Your grandparents also need to back off. They aren’t raising your daughter, you are.

Frankly, there isn’t any need for a college kid to have a car these days.

You can get a place to sleep near the college and you can get most things you’d need delivered to your door.

A car means you need to pay for parking, find a parking spot, maintain the car; it’s actually a bit of a hassle, honestly.

This is a parenting decision. Granted, after turning 18, you legally become an adult.

But as kids remain dependent on their parents to age 25, especially college bound kids, they’re in YOUR custody and YOU are in charge.

Are grandparents going to pay her tuition? Do they want to adopt her? No, they are undermining your authority as a parent.

Fuzzy1353 − NTA God forbid but if she ever hit someone while texting and driving they'd take her license and throw her in jail,

so she kinda got off easy. Let her use her hard earned money to pay for a car maybe she'll try to protect it and herself better.

Chucklepink − I mean. .. I probably would’ve given her a warning and taken the car away for a month first, but I’d still say NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA, even a little, more like good parents. she knew what was up before hand, and did it anyway.

Now she gets a lesson in consequences of her own bad life choices, without having injured or killed someone else or herself. She got off easy.

Ungoliantluvsu − NTA. You gave her reasonable conditions and the fact that

she was posted as being a "local bad driver" means this is probably a common occurrence.

I didn't have a car until I was in my early 20's and although it kinda sucked, I lived through it.

IMO, good on you for showing her how important safety is.

This group offers a nuanced view, agreeing that the daughter’s actions (texting and driving) were dangerous, but suggesting that the punishment may have been too harsh

ajsstormchaser − ESH, I'm 100% sure half the NTA have texted and drove at some point.

I don't disagree with consequences but you've taken zero steps to make her a safer driver.

Texting and driving is serious but what's going to happen when she buys her own car and you're not around?

One strike policies are generally bad ideas.

Maverick_01 − ESH. You're kid is an i__ot, but she's also a kid so its kind of a given.

I don't know what lesson you think you're giving her, but selling the car is not gonna help her become a safer driver.

Is your plan just to wait until she buys her own car and then hope for the best?

I think you've confused punishing with teaching here, and it makes you guys assholes.

EDIT: u/SirPounces was the first to point out the grammar mistake, so he wins. Everyone else loses.

Bobaaganoosh − Everyone’s saying NTA here, so ima play devils advocate. Ima say ESH.

Your daughter sucked for texting and driving. And you sucked for selling the car.

I understand you had a “contract”. I understand you’re trying to teach her a lesson.

She SHOULD be taught a lesson. But selling the car? A bit overboard in my opinion.

You could’ve took the keys from her and withheld her driving privileges for a month or two.

Hell, you could’ve taken her cell phone for a month as well. I bet that would’ve livened her a** up.

But now you sold the car which was gonna be her primary means of transport in the future + college like she said.

Idk if you and your family just got money to blow or what, but I guess you don’t mind being out thousands of dollars to prove a point.

If it were me, I’d have took the car and phone for a month or so.

NOW, you have to buy her ANOTHER car down the road (let’s be real, she’s gonna need a car,

and at some point you’re all gonna move past this, she’ll have learned her lesson, and you’ll be buying another car)

Bc you sold the one you already bought to make a point.

And let’s get something straight before people start downvoting and saying how bad texting and driving is - no s__t. I agree.

Texting and driving is bad. Common sense. But I’d bet my damn life we’ve all done it before at least once or twice.

Some people probably do it all the time but you’re still gonna say NTA. OP has probably texted and drove/drives.

I understand the point you’re trying to make to your daughter, but to sell the car over it is just a bit over the top in my opinion.

Yes, she shouldn’t be texting and driving. Should she be taught a lesson?

Yes. I just feel like there are better ways OP could’ve went about it than selling the car. That’s all I’m trying to say.

Edit: and just like I predicted - people are saying I’m DEFENDING texting and driving and making an excuse for it.

I never DEFENDED it. Ever. I’m just pointing out that most people HAVE texted and drove before.

Don’t try to sit here and act all high and mighty and tell me you’ve never even LOOKED at your phone while driving.

You’d be lying to yourself and to everyone here to try to make yourself seem better than others.

My POINT that I’m making, is I AGREE that the daughter should be taught a lesson,

but it could’ve been done in a better way, and that selling the car was just a bit over the top.

OBVIOUSLY the daughter is wrong for texting and driving.

But, taking the phone, taking the car, and having a long simple talk about it would’ve also worked instead of selling the car.

I’m also not saying the parents HAVE to buy her another car, like they’re obligated to do so.

What I’m saying is OP will INEVITABLY buy her another one.

Judging by the fact he seems to fine with losing a few thousands dollars to prove a point,

something tells they also don’t mind buying another vehicle down the road after the daughter has learned her lesson

and understand road safety better. I’m not saying OP HAS to.

But most parents who can do that, and have the financial means to do that kind of that kind of thing for their kid, will do it.

thatusenameistaken − ESH Texting and driving is freaking idiotic, but Y'all went nuclear

when something more appropriate would have been a temporary ban (2 weeks or a month maybe?) from the car, or the phone, or both.

Personally I'd make her choose, but respect her choice.

Edit It's almost certain to be her choosing to keep her phone anyway. edit Your grandparents didn't threaten, they promised.

Threatening implies they did something wrong. They have the right to buy anyone they please a car.

While the father’s decision to sell the car was undoubtedly a bold move, it’s rooted in a desire to protect his daughter’s safety and teach her a critical life lesson. Texting and driving is a dangerous behavior, and the father felt it was essential to show her the consequences of putting herself and others at risk.

However, while the punishment was effective in sending a strong message, it might have been perceived as extreme. A more balanced approach, such as temporarily taking away her driving privileges or requiring her to demonstrate responsible behavior over time, could have achieved a similar result without risking long-term strain in their relationship.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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