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Daughter Refuses To Donate Eggs For Mother’s Baby, Mother Threatens To Kick Her Out

by Layla Bui
December 19, 2025
in Social Issues

A mother’s request for her daughter to donate eggs for her and her fiancé’s children is a deeply complicated and unsettling situation.

This 18-year-old has been under pressure from her mother for years, ever since she was 14, to help her fulfill her dream of having more children through egg donation. Now, with the added threat of being kicked out if she refuses, she’s unsure of what to do next.

With the college deadline approaching and no way to afford moving out, she’s looking for a way to escape this toxic situation without putting her future at risk.

Is she justified in refusing, or is there something she’s missing? Continue reading to find out how others are reacting to this heartbreaking family dilemma.

A woman’s mother pressures her to donate eggs or carry a child for her and threatens to kick her out if she refuses

Daughter Refuses To Donate Eggs For Mother’s Baby, Mother Threatens To Kick Her Out
not the actual photo

'My mother (43) wants me (18f) to donate eggs so she can have kids with her fiance?'

When I was about 14, my mother asked me if I would be willing to help her have a baby one day.

I said yes without understanding what it all entailed. She is still holding me to this even though I have since changed my mind.

My mom has been threatening to kick me out over my refusal.

She is pressuring me to sign a contract that would bind me to one cycle sometime

before I turn 30 and she has even discussed me carrying a baby for her once I'm done with school.

I feel very nervous about this and I'm trying to stall/hold out until I am no longer under her roof.

I can't afford to move out (Eta: until August).

I'm not sure if I could eventually get out of this contract if I were to sign it, but I don't want to risk it.

Her fiance is totally cool with this. I don't know what to do.

I'm trying to make plans to maybe stay with a friend, but I'm hoping to find a way out of this with my personal items.

I know my mom will hold things hostage so to speak.

Edit: I am very relieved to know that the contract would be under duress and so wouldn't be upheld. :)

Small Update: I let my sister know some of the things that are going on and we have started collecting evidence.

There's a lot of small things that CPS might care to know about, like mood swings and extreme punishments.

There's a lot to this and good God it's a mess. I go off to college in August. I turned 18 at the end of May.

From the first time someone asks us to give up a piece of ourselves, it touches something deep inside. We all have an inner sense of what is ours, our body, our future, our choices. When that sense is challenged, especially by someone close, it doesn’t just feel uncomfortable. It feels like a violation of who we are.

For the OP in this story, her mother’s repeated demands that she donate eggs or carry a child for her fiancé isn’t simply a strange request. It’s a profound encroachment on her autonomy, trust, and bodily integrity.

This situation is far more complex than a parent wanting a child. It reflects a long‑standing pattern of control and disregard for the OP’s personal boundaries.

At 14, she agreed without fully grasping the implications. Four years later, she clearly changed her mind, yet her mother persists, now using threats of homelessness and legal pressure to coerce compliance.

What may seem like an extreme reaction to many is, for the OP, years of constrained agency finally erupting into resistance. This isn’t about reluctance alone. It’s about a young adult reclaiming control over her body and her future.

Psychological research shows that clear, respected boundaries are essential to emotional health.

According to Verywell Mind, “Boundaries are the limits we place around ourselves for what we are and aren’t willing to give to others… they help us stay comfortable and safe in our relationships” and reduce stress when consistently enforced.

Establishing boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s a necessary expression of self‑worth and autonomy. Without them, relationships can become unbalanced, with one person’s needs overshadowing another’s.

Additionally, experts on coercive behavior highlight how control can manifest outside of physical violence. A Psychology Today article explains that coercive control involves patterns of manipulation and psychological pressure designed to dominate another person’s choices.

This framework helps illuminate why the OP’s mother’s approach, using threats and legal pressure, feels intrusive and distressing rather than helpful or loving.

Interpreting these insights in the context of the OP’s story makes her feelings understandable. She’s not being dramatic or immature. She’s responding to direct pressure that targets her life choices, her body, and her emotional wellbeing.

The distress she feels is consistent with what mental health professionals describe as boundary violations that strain one’s sense of safety and self‑concept.

For anyone in a similar position, realizing that you are entitled to say no, even when someone pressures you emotionally or financially, is crucial.

Exploring legal advice around coercion and contracts may help clarify options. Finding support from friends, siblings, or professionals strengthens resilience while planning a safe transition out of an unhealthy environment.

In the end, autonomy is not something granted by others. It’s something you assert and protect for your emotional wellbeing and future.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

This group stresses the importance of setting boundaries, seeking legal protection, and prioritizing safety when dealing with a manipulative family member

andyk_77 − If you are leaving and your mom holds your property or valuables, or government issued IDs hostage, you can call the police.

brokenspirit667 − Clearly you need to get away from her and not consent to such an insane situation.

Also, what about your 15 year old sister? Make sure you explain this to her so your crazy mother doesn’t go after her next. Best of luck! !

June_Monroe − No is a complete sentence. She can't make you do anything you don't want to do.

Surrogate have to have at least one successful pregnancy. She needs therapy. What the hell is the fiance saying?

Groovy200 − u/Ebbie45 has a lot of resources for abuse victims like you. In her post history pls check her out and ask her for advice

[Reddit User] − First, the hormones required to harvest eggs will affect you a lot.

You have every right to not consent to that. Secondly, she has NO rights to your body or your eggs.

Thirdly, holy s__t! Please, as everyone else said, tell your doctor, or tell a professional who can help you.

This is 100000% not okay. It is abusive.

[Reddit User] − First things first: get yourself some bags and totes (garbage bags or laundry baskets work in a pinch)

and arrange with a friend that the next time your mom goes out,

you clear out all your belongings except what essentials you need at the time. After, make arrangements to move yourself.

Your mother is insane to ask her 18-year-old daughter who doesn't even have a child or her own to carry one.

And at 43, what is your mother going to do with a child? She'll be 70 years old before her kid is even in college. Do not consent!

EDIT: Thank-you to all the "geniuses" who have pointed out that 43 + 20 = 63.

To everyone else with reading comprehension skills who therefore noted that

OP's mom wants this plan to take place before OP is 30 (as in, not right this exact second).

Thanks for (a) paying attention and (b) not derailing from the actual issue which is OP's insane mother.

These commenters emphasize the urgency of leaving an abusive situation, providing practical advice for moving out

NachosPrecarioso − Oh if she's threatening to cut contact with you over it, this might be a blessing in disguise.

You should probably take it. She's literally insane.

lotsofgreycats − Wow, definitely try to move and as far as carrying a baby for her,

drs want two successful pregnancies prior to surrogacy so it would be awhile unless she found some quack who would do it before that,

and that’s so awful she’s being like that to you, the best option I think is to move away and not contact her.

I’m so sorry she’s doing this to you

KProbs713 − A suggestion for making it to 6 weeks: Tell her that to make a decision,

you need to be checked by a doctor to make sure you don't have any issues with your uterus/ovaries/eggs/genes/whatever.

Tell her you wouldn't want to donate eggs to her without verifying that it's safe for HER

(it's horrible to say and do but narcissist are always happy when they feel people are treating them 'correctly').

You can go as far as telling her a legal contract wouldn't be fair to HER unless you've verified your health first. Suggest she does the same.

Then schedule an appointment as far out as you can and blame it on Covid procedures.

You can either cancel it when it's safe or go for a yearly checkup.

Either way, you have a ready-made excuse that will fit her entitled image of how you should be acting.

nowaytostop − I’m my own grandma.

These users highlight the severe ethical and personal concerns around the request, strongly advising against agreeing to such demands

Traditional_l4dy − Next thing you know she will want him to just have s__ with you. “Surrogate” smh

little_dreamin − It would be your child. Your eggs, your body.

These commenters warn about the risks of coercion, providing legal and medical advice to help the OP avoid being manipulated or forced into harmful decisions

kodiofthemyscira − This scares me OP, a lot. Especially because her boyfriend doesn't think anything is unreasonable about her request.

Please be safe, get your legal documents in order, and leave ASAP.

I am worried she may try to force a pregnancy on you by her boyfriend once you say no.

bynomeansanexpert − One thing I don't understand is that 43 is young enough for her to be trying herself.

When she first asked you, she would have been only 39. Has she tried IVF and IUI and all of the rest of it?

If she has, then she should know how brutal the egg collection process is,

and no loving or kind mother would want to subject her daughter to that unwillingly.

If she hasn't, then there are so many other options beyond making you provide your eggs.

SCCLBR − Edit: oh I just read more closely. This is awful and abusive op. I'm an attorney.

That "contract" would not be enforceable. Ever.

Do what you have to in order to stay safe in the short term while you make your exit plan.

If you have to sign to stay housed and safe, don't worry about it.

It's nothing more than a manipulative tactic and no one is going to take your eggs or your money over this.

If, once you're out and safe, your mom tries to "enforce" the contract it's almost certainly going to be nothing but a scare tactic.

DO NOT GO TO ANY CLINICS WITH HER. Until a document comes from a court it's just threats.

If by some insane chance your mom ever tried to sue you over this,

DM me and I'll help you find a legal aid organization that will probably help you for free. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

What do you think? Should she stay and try to work things out, or is it time to cut ties and reclaim her independence? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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