Family breakups are rarely clean, but when infidelity, custody battles, and unresolved resentment collide, the fallout can last for years. One 16-year-old girl turned to Reddit after her father demanded that she regularly check on his pregnant wife – the same woman he had an affair with for years while still married to her mother.
The teen says she wants nothing to do with her father’s new family and feels trapped by a custody arrangement that forces her into his home every other week. Now, with her stepmother’s pregnancy labeled “high risk,” her dad insists she take on a responsibility she never asked for – and absolutely does not want.
Here’s The Original Post:
A Childhood Defined by Absence and Betrayal
According to the teen, her father carried on a years-long affair with Lou while still married. During that time, he missed school performances, sports games, birthdays, and weekends, always claiming work obligations. In reality, he was prioritizing his affair.
When the truth came out, it didn’t just devastate her mother, it shattered the relationship between father and children. The teen says what hurt most wasn’t the cheating itself, but the abandonment. He didn’t just leave his marriage; he emotionally disappeared from his kids’ lives.
Now remarried, her father adopted Lou’s child from a previous relationship and is expecting another baby with her. But the teen and her older brother have made it clear: they don’t consider themselves part of this new family.
Forced Visitation, Forced Proximity
Despite her wishes, the teen is legally required to spend every other week at her father’s house until she turns 18. Attempts to change the custody agreement failed. At one point, her brother refused visitation and police were called to enforce the order.
Family therapy didn’t help. The teen openly told her father and Lou she planned to go no contact as soon as she legally could.
And now, a new demand has pushed things even further.
The Breaking Point: Being Asked to “Check In” on a High-Risk Pregnancy
Lou has epilepsy and is currently pregnant. Due to complications, she stopped working and receives periodic nurse visits. But the father believes the nurse doesn’t come often enough and decided his teenage daughter should fill the gap.
He asked her to check on Lou during the weeks she stays with her mother and even during his custody weeks if she’s out after school.
The teen refused.
Her response was blunt: he was asking the wrong person to care. When her father argued that she should at least want them “alive and healthy,” she stood firm.
She says she feels no responsibility toward someone who played a role in destroying her family and many commenters agreed.
Why Experts Say This Crosses a Serious Line
Mental health professionals are clear on one thing: minors should never be placed in caregiving roles for adults, especially in emotionally charged family dynamics.
According to the American Psychological Association, parentification, when a child is forced into adult responsibilities, can cause long-term emotional harm, anxiety, and resentment.
Licensed family therapist Dr. Carla Marie Manly explains that “expecting a child to emotionally or physically care for an adult, particularly in a situation involving trauma or betrayal, is inappropriate and damaging”.
Several Reddit users pointed out that if Lou needs additional care, the responsibility lies with her husband, not a minor who has explicitly expressed emotional distress.
The Statistics Behind High-Risk Pregnancy Care
High-risk pregnancies often require professional support – not informal monitoring by family members, let alone teenagers.
According to the CDC, about 6–8% of pregnancies in the U.S. are classified as high risk, often requiring specialized medical supervision.
Organizations like the Epilepsy Foundation emphasize that pregnant women with epilepsy should have structured medical plans, including professional caregivers if needed-not untrained family members
Redditors also pointed out practical alternatives: additional nursing visits, paid caregivers, remote monitoring, neighbors, family friends, or workplace accommodations.
The Debate: Is the Teen Being Too Harsh?
A small minority of commenters argued that refusing outright showed a lack of compassion. They suggested that wanting someone alive doesn’t mean endorsing their past actions and that basic concern could coexist with boundaries.
But most pushed back strongly on that idea.
Compassion, they argued, cannot be demanded, especially from someone who was emotionally neglected and legally forced into proximity. Asking a teenager to shoulder adult medical responsibility doesn’t repair relationships; it deepens resentment.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
The overwhelming response from Reddit was clear:
Several even suggested documenting requests and revisiting custody arrangements with legal counsel.
The Bigger Lesson: Boundaries Are Not Cruelty
This story highlights a painful truth: you cannot undo years of harm by assigning responsibility.
Repairing relationships requires accountability, patience, and respect, not pressure. Expecting a teenager to emotionally or physically support the person who helped dismantle her family ignores the reality of trauma.
Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection.
And sometimes, the most mature choice a young person can make is knowing what is not theirs to carry.
