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Woman Tells Brother To Stop Wearing Wedding Rings Because He’s Not “Actually Married”

by Annie Nguyen
December 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Symbols mean different things to different people, and that’s where this family disagreement begins. This woman says she has no issue with her brother being gay, but she does have a problem with him and his boyfriend wearing wedding rings despite not being legally married.

Living in a country where same-sex marriage isn’t recognized, she feels the rings cross a line from personal symbolism into something misleading.

She voiced her opinion, believing marriage should only be represented once it’s official. Her brother didn’t take it well, accusing her of overstepping and storming out.

Now his boyfriend has also stepped in, telling her to stay out of their relationship entirely. Was she offering a reasonable perspective, or did she meddle where she shouldn’t have? Read on to see how people are reacting.

A woman confronts her brother for wearing wedding rings despite him not being legally married

Woman Tells Brother To Stop Wearing Wedding Rings Because He’s Not “Actually Married”
not the actual photo

'AITA for telling my brother and his boyfriend to stop misleading people with their wedding rings when they're not actually married?'

I (26F) have an older brother (27M) who's been dating another guy (30M) for around 4 years.

I don't have any issue with my brother being gay, but I have one with him wearing a wedding ring

in order to pretend that he's married to him.

You see, we live in a country where gay marriage still isn't allowed (Romania),

but despite this, my brother and his boyfriend started wearing weddings rings recently.

When I asked my brother about it, he told me that despite not being able to do it legally,

they already consider themselves married spiritually

and they're hoping that one day gay marriages will be allowed to be legal as well,

either by leaving the country or waiting till gay marriages are made legal here as well.

While I think this nice, I told him that they shouldn't be wearing wedding rings till they actually get officially married,

as I think it's kind of distasteful. He told me that they're just a symbol of their love

and that they're not hurting anyone by wearing them, but I disagreed;

they're actively misleading people into thinking that they're actually married and frankly just making a mockery out of marriage.

My brother told me that he doesn't care what other people, including me,

think about them wearing wedding rings and maybe they should just mind their own business, then left furiously.

Not gonna lie, I think his comment here was kind of out of line,

as all I did was to give my opinion on people wearing wedding rings when they're actually married yet and he seemed to take it personally.

His boyfriend also contacted me later and told me that their romantic lives don't concern me and to stay out of it. AITA?

At some point, most people discover that discomfort doesn’t always come from harm. Sometimes it comes from watching others redefine symbols we were taught to treat as fixed. When that happens, it can feel unsettling, even threatening, despite no one being directly hurt. This story sits squarely in that emotional tension.

In this situation, the sister wasn’t reacting to her brother’s relationship itself. She was reacting to what the wedding ring represents in her own internal framework.

For her, marriage appears tightly bound to legality, social acknowledgment, and tradition. Seeing that symbol worn without legal backing felt misleading, even disrespectful. Her motivation wasn’t cruelty, but control over meaning.

Meanwhile, her brother and his partner were responding to years of exclusion. In a country where their commitment cannot be legally recognized, the rings became a way to affirm their bond publicly and privately. What one side saw as distortion, the other experienced as dignity.

However, symbols do not carry equal weight for everyone. For couples who are legally permitted to marry, rings usually follow recognition. For couples denied that right, symbols often come first.

From a psychological and sociological standpoint, marginalized groups frequently rely on symbolic acts to compensate for systemic invalidation.

The sister was defending an institution she already has access to. Her brother was defending a sense of legitimacy he is denied. The emotional gap between those positions explains why the exchange escalated so quickly.

Psychological research supports this interpretation. According to articles published by Psychology Today, symbols like wedding rings function as “tie signs,” meaning visible cues that signal commitment and relational status to others. These signs are especially important when social or legal systems fail to provide validation.

Psychologists note that symbolic behavior often intensifies in environments where individuals experience chronic invalidation or lack of recognition.

Similarly, Verywell Mind explains that romantic symbols help people express complex emotional bonds that words or institutions cannot fully capture. Symbols do not fabricate commitment; they externalize feelings that already exist. This is particularly true for couples whose relationships are questioned or dismissed by society.

Viewed through this lens, the brother’s reaction becomes clearer. The sister’s critique didn’t land as a neutral opinion. It echoed the same invalidation he already faces culturally and legally. That overlap made the comment feel personal, even though it wasn’t intended that way.

A takeaway here isn’t about silencing opinions. It’s about recognizing when an opinion reinforces an imbalance. When a symbol offers someone stability without causing harm, letting go of personal discomfort can be a quieter, but more compassionate, form of respect.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

These commenters said it’s none of OP’s business and urged them to stop policing symbols

EngineeringOwn2299 − I sometimes take my wedding ring off, and put it on the cats tail, and tell my husband he's now married to the cat.

How's that rock your perception on the sanctity of marriage?

YTA. Stop pushing your own ideals on what a ring, and marriage means to other people, and focus on your own life.

ETA: WOW. This blew up. Thank you so much.

Will post the cat, wearing the ring, once I get home. ETAA: I'm not home yet guys

I will post the second I am! CAT TAX POSTED ON MY PROFILE. ENJOY MY BABY BOY, RENGAR.

ScienceNotKids − YTA. This is the definition of mind your own business.

And not allowing consenting adults to get married is mockery enough itself.

TemptingPenguin369 − YTA. This is none of your business.

I read everything you wrote, expecting to see that you were concerned about their safety

or had a legitimate reason for your interest in the jewelry they choose to wear, but nope.

musical_spork − YTA. It's his relationship. They aren't "misleading" anyone. B__t out

This group stressed rings symbolize commitment regardless of legal recognition

profmoxie − YTA Before marriage equality was legal here in the U. S.,

my wife and I wore wedding bands for years (we've been together 25 years).

It symbolized our love and commitment to one another, despite the government's unwillingness to acknowledge that.

Yes, there are rights and obligations that go along with being able to be married legally,

but marriage is NOT only about the state/government acknowledging it.

It's about personal love and commitment. And they want to show that to the world.

So what's your issue with them showing their love and commitment? Does it hurt you at all? Nope. YTA, OP. 100% YTA.

Manviln − They are wearing rings as a symbol of their commitment to each other regardless of what the law says.

Who TF are you to tell them they can’t do that? YTA

airazaneo − YTA - it's not your business. Those rings represent their commitment to one another.

The ceremony is irrelevant. As for it being a mockery?

A mockery is straight marriages that end in divorce days or months later

but the state still claims the sanctity of it only being between a man and woman

despite there being same s__ couples together for decades who can't marry.

Dioptre_8 − YTA. You are telling your brother that you think that the legal status of the marriage is the "correct" view.

So you are effectively endorsing the government's bigoted position against your brother and his husband.

They are married. The government won't accept that or recognise it.

But there is nothing but your own mind preventing you from accepting and recognising it.

These Redditors argued legal bans make OP’s stance unfair and unrealistic

[Reddit User] − "Not gonna lie, I think his comment here was kind of out of line,

as all I did was to give my opinion on people wearing wedding rings when they're actually married yet and he seemed to take it personally."

​ YTA and YOUR comment was out of line

CalebCJ20 − YTA. Your brother is not married because he literally is banned from doing so, not because he chose not to get married.

Telling him he should wait with wearing a ring (it's not like he faked certificates, he's wearing a ring,

which is something you can do regardless of your family status, even if you are single),

because it's making a mockery out of marriage is really distasteful and disrespectful.

Sounds like if it were his choice he would be married already.

And as someone who is married I can tell you, its really not a magical thing that boosts your relationship to another level.

My relationship has not been different before and after marriage,

because it really only is the feeling you have towards your partner, and this doesn't change through a piece of paper.

Merri-Weather − YTA. Marriage equality has not yet been achieved in your country, so how are they supposed to get “officially married”?

How are they making a “mockery out of marriage” by symbolizing their love and commitment to one another through rings?

You claim not to have a problem with your brother being gay, but you sound h__ophobic AF.

BadvicePodcast − YTA - if they can’t legally marry then wtf else do you want them to do?

Mind your own business there’s no such thing as stolen valor for f__king marriage. It’s just a ring let them live.

OGablogian − Congrats on being h__ophobic. YTA.

Do symbolic gestures need official approval to be meaningful, or does love get to define itself? Where would you draw the line between concern and intrusion? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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