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Woman Can’t Believe Pregnant Friend Expects Her To Co-Parent After Agreeing To Move In

by Annie Nguyen
December 22, 2025
in Social Issues

Living with friends sounds simple until real life shows up with complications no one planned for. What starts as an exciting step toward independence can suddenly turn into a situation filled with pressure, fear, and expectations that feel way too big for people in their early twenties.

When emotions are high, even well-meaning ideas can spiral into something overwhelming. In this story, a young woman agreed to move in with her best friends, only to learn that one of them was pregnant and imagining a future where they would all raise the baby together.

The idea left everyone shaken and unsure how to respond without hurting someone they loved. Boundaries, friendship, and responsibility all collided in a tense conversation that changed everything. What happened next forced them to make a choice that would redefine their friendship going forward.

A woman planning to rent a large apartment with two friends learns one roommate is pregnant and expects shared parenting

Woman Can’t Believe Pregnant Friend Expects Her To Co-Parent After Agreeing To Move In
Not the actual photo

My (f22) best friend (f21) is moving in with me, but has now gotten pregnant and wants us to raise the baby together?

So yeah I've rented a room in a great 4 bedroom apartment for the past year

and since my two roommates both are moving out in August,

I've been offered to rent the whole apartment which is a great opportunity

and I've already asked my two best friends if they wanted to sublet the two other rooms

and move in with me which they were both very excited to do.

My two current roommates aren't moved out yet

and no lease has been signed either on my part or my two friends part,

so it is still in the hypothetical.

I've been transparent to my friends that it might fall through as my landlord might change his mind

and just let me continue to rent the one room and not let anyone else move in as the building

is going to be renovated once all renters have moved out.

My one friend, Indy, has an apartment of her own

that she's comfortable in so she isn't depending on this to go through,

even though my apartment is definitely better located and more spacious.

My other friend, Layla, still lives at home where she isn't in a rush to move out either

so none of my friends would end up with nowhere to stay should this doesn't work out.

Layla is very excited and I've been excited with her,

talking about how we each have a bit of money saved that could go towards improving the apartment

and it's been great to have someone to dream with the past month

Now, things took a turn on Wednesday.

Layla found out she's pregnant.

She got tinder about 2 months ago and have been having some fun meeting new people

and dating which is completely new territory for her.

And so there are more than one option for a father, all of whom she isn't interested in involving.

She's over the moon over this news and wants to keep the baby and raise it as a single mother.

I personally think this is a terrible idea.

She's only 21, she's not in university yet, only has a part time job of 4 hours a week

and has a long history of depression and anxiety disorders

(possibly borderline personality disorder or something like it, she's in treatment to find the right diagnosis),

has never lived out of her parents home or taken care of herself at all.

It's her decision and not mine though, and I will of course be there

for her as I've known her for over 15 years and I lover her.

She hasn't told her parents yet because they would flip out

and she would like to be moved out before she does tell them.

She wants to move into the apartment still, and raise the baby there with my friend and I.

We met up Friday and she layed out this plan on how she could work

until she knew what she wanted to do in terms of university,

and my friend and I could babysit together,

arranging it after our classes.

She said we each could put our savings towards the baby as "we essentially would all be parents".

I am just not okay with this at all.

I feel like university is stressful and I don't have enough time as it is for my assignments

without caring for a kid in my spare time.

I am 22 and I also like doing 22 things like having friends over for a drink on Fridays

and sleeping in on Sundays, having dates over and all that jazz.

And having an infant in the apartment is just not something I see working out with my lifestyle.

It's her choice to keep the baby but I don't think it's right

to force my friend and I to be co parents with her.

I think she has this romantic view of what its like to care for a small child,

especially as a single, young mother with very little means

and even though I love her, I'm not willing to sacrifice that amount of time

and money on her decision to become a parent unexpectedly.

She's only 6 weeks along so it's not an immediate problem, but I feel like I can't let her move in now.

Indy doesn't know yet, but I'm thinking she will have the same feelings as me about the situation.

Layla has told a few of her friends I'm not very close with, about her plan

as if it is definitely going to happen and they are very excited for her

and kinda hyping her up and further painting an idyllic picture

of how she is going to raise this kid in my apartment.

I just have no idea what to do right now.

I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her that this is not going to work for me

and she can't move in here with a baby.

I didn't directly tell her I think it's insane for her to have a baby right now as this must be a tough

and scary time for her and I didn't want to upset her too much.

I did tell her I have concerns with how it would work out but she wasn't fazed at all.

Should I tell her parents? Her mom is a very sweet and kind person who have always helped her

but her dad is a different story and I don't know how he would react.

I have considered talking to Indy about it and maybe figure out a way for us to tell her together,

or something but yeah any advice or comments are appreciated! Thank you :)

So this was not a big post at all,

but one or two people asked for an update if there were any and so here I am again.

For a quick recap: I am possibly going to rent the entire 4 bedroom apartment

I currently sublet a room in sometime around September/October

and two of my best friends are moving in.

My friend Layla has gotten pregnant and were planning to move in with me

and have the three of us taking care of the baby, as physically and financially.

I took the advice someone gave to talk to my other future roommate Indy about it,

and we both agreed that it was not something we wanted to do at all,

and we decided to confront her about it together so she could understand it wasn't going to happen.

We got together at my place on Tuesday and had some tea.

We just sat down and said that basically we were very worried about her

and the scenario that she had in her head about us raising the baby together is just completely irresponsible

and we don't want that at all.

We decided to not lay out the whole thing about her mental health, job situation

and all that because we didn't want it to feel like an attack on her

but more just us setting some boundaries.

She got really emotional and told us that she knew it was ridiculous

but she was scared and in shock and really didn't know how to react or think straight.

Apparently it wasn't even her idea to begin with but some of her other friends

we don't know very well who came up with it and sorta pressured her

to feel a certain way because they were extremely excited for her.

She just said that she has been crying every day since she found out and she's

so scared for the future and really just want everything to go back to normal.

At that point we just said that we totally understand and we of course will be there for her

no matter what she decides to do, but we really also felt

that it would be a lot for her to be a mom under these circumstances.So yeah.

She decided getting an a__rtion would be the best thing for her.

She said her initial reaction was to terminate the pregnancy but she had a lot if guilt associated with

that as she has been brought up in a very conservative family

I'd rather not hear anything about the morals of that decision,

as I don't think that would really be helpful to the conversation.

We told her that we would be with her every step of the way if she needed it,

and so we both went with her to the doctors on Thursday

to confirm she was pregnant and to find out the options.

Since she is only 6 weeks pregnant she could get some pills to take over a 48 hour period

and that would make the embryo detach.

She got the first one at the hospital on Friday where we were there with her too,

and then they both stayed over at my place the whole weekend for the rest of it

since her parents still doesn't know and she didn't want to tell them.

My roommate is conveniently on holiday with some of her friends for the rest of the week

so we had the whole place to ourselves and nothing to explain to anyone.

She took the other pill yesterday and everything seems to be going smoothly,

she just has a heavy period basically, which coincidentally ligned up with both Indys

and mine (TMI sorry) so we have all been laying in my bed with heating pads

and Netflix being a little miserable together, but things are going well

and the pain have not been too much for just regular painkillers.

There has been some crying, lots of hugs and long talks

and walks in the forrest and I feel like things are going to be okay.

They're both staying here until my roommate gets back

so she can get through this in a comfy environment without having to pretend nothing is wrong.

So yeah, it seems like the plan of moving in together is back on as originally planned,

and everything will be okay.

Layla was offered some counseling at the hospital about getting through an a__rtion

and the feelings about it which she is starting some time next week.

Thank you so so much for the people who gave me advice when I needed it.

This outcome is better than I could have imagined

and I wouldn't have thought of doing it this way if it wasn't for you guys so thank you ❤❤.

There’s a shared human experience many people recognize but rarely talk about: when life suddenly veers off course, fear can make even capable people reach for solutions that feel comforting rather than realistic. In those moments, what we ask for isn’t always what we truly need; it’s often just relief from panic.

In this situation, Layla wasn’t really asking her friends to co-parent a child. She was expressing shock, grief, and a deep sense of loss over the future she thought she had. Her proposal reflected emotional overload, not irresponsibility.

Meanwhile, the OP and Indy were doing something equally difficult: caring about their friend while refusing to absorb a life-altering responsibility that wasn’t theirs. The tension came from love pulling in different directions: Layla’s need for safety versus her friends’ need for boundaries.

What feels especially important here is how social pressure shaped Layla’s early thinking. While many commenters focused on her friends’ excitement, that enthusiasm may have unintentionally removed space for her fear.

Research consistently shows that women, particularly those raised in conservative or close-knit communities, are more likely to internalize guilt when their emotional reactions don’t match the group’s expectations. Instead of being asked what she needed, Layla was subtly guided toward what others found meaningful.

As clinical psychologist Guy Winch explains, “psychological injuries present exactly the same risks to our emotional well-being as physical ones do to our physical health.” In other words, emotional wounds, especially those triggered by loss and fear, can significantly disrupt a person’s ability to process reality with clarity.

Seen through this lens, the OP’s response becomes more than “setting boundaries.” By calmly grounding the conversation in reality and staying emotionally present, she helped Layla move out of panic and back into agency.

The support during the medical process, the shared space for recovery, and the encouragement toward counseling all worked together to restore Layla’s sense of control without forcing a narrative onto her.

This story ultimately highlights a difficult but vital truth: compassion doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Sometimes it means staying close, absorbing tears and fear, while gently refusing to participate in a solution that would cause deeper harm. That kind of friendship doesn’t just comfort; it stabilizes. And in moments of crisis, stability can be life-changing.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors praised the friendship, calling it rare, supportive, and deeply human

babyishAuri − She's so lucky to have the both of you as friends. Hope your girl gets better

apinkparfait − That's absolutely beautiful. This is the type of friendship

you will look back decades from now and smile together.

coraldan12 − You guys sound like really good friends, wishing you all the best for your future!

Anony-Depressy − Aw I love to hear that you were there

for her throughout the whole process. Truly what friends are for. :,)

This group focused on responsibility, applauding the calm communication and adult decision-making

banana_p3pp3r − You handled this very well! Motherhood is hard already, and if you aren't ready it's a lot harder.

merpancake − I'm glad you guys took the responsible route and talked it over as adults.

Clearly she needed your support and help and you were able to provide it!

Best of luck to all of you. And pass on a hug from this internet stranger!

speycedout − I'm pro-life mostly, but this sounds like the right move.

Damn, morals are complicated. Good communication all around.

They zeroed in on the boundary-setting, calling it a textbook example of healthy confrontation

mstrss9 − Hmm, the folks pressuring her to continue with the pregnancy/give birth

didn’t offer to help her raise the child. .. why am I not surprised?

PlumCentedCloroxWipe − So this is what a healthy confrontation looks like

In the end, this wasn’t a story about roommates; it was about courage showing up quietly, over tea, and honesty. Many readers felt relief seeing young adults handle fear with empathy instead of avoidance. Others admired how boundaries didn’t break the friendship but strengthened it.

Do you think the roommates did the right thing by drawing such a firm line, or should friends step in when life derails so suddenly? How would you balance compassion with self-preservation in a situation like this? Drop your thoughts below, we’re listening.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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