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“Come Help With My Baby”: Bride Shocked by Relative’s Request to Change Wedding Venue

by Believe Johnson
December 22, 2025
in Social Issues

Planning a wedding is usually a mix of excitement and a little bit of stress. You spend months, or sometimes years, dreaming of the perfect location and saving every penny to make it happen. Most of us hope our families will be cheering us on from the front row.

However, a Reddit user recently shared a story that sounds like a movie script. After planning a spectacular celebration in India for over a year, she faced a surprising demand from her fiance’s family. It turns out that a new baby is arriving at the same time as the nuptials. Instead of a compromise, the family asked the couple to cancel everything to help with childcare.

It is a tricky situation that explores fairness, family roles, and the courage to say “no” to the people we love. Let us look at what happened.

The Story:

“Come Help With My Baby”: Bride Shocked by Relative’s Request to Change Wedding Venue
Not the actual photo

AITA for not postponing our wedding to accommodate my SIL?

My fiancé (M28) and I (F28) are set to be married in December. We got engaged in June 23,

and decided on the wedding date a year and half in advance for everyone’s convenience. We have been dating since 10 years

and have been saving up for the wedding since 5 years, to be able to afford an extravagant wedding in a palace in India,

and we finally made those arrangements. My husband’s sister has always been a golden child. She always got what she asked for,

as opposed to my husband who they treat like a cash cow. Every time his mother needs anything expensive, he’s the first call she makes.

I try not getting between them, but she’s never shown any interest in his life. Coming to the wedding, we sent out save the dates

in December 2023, for people to plan their holidays/plans way in advance. My SIL got married 3 years back. It was a nice wedding,

but not as fancy as ours. When she knew about the plans, she started finding problems in everything to a point where

my husband asked her to stop interfering. Last week, we got a call from her in all excitement to tell us she was pregnant

and is expecting a child in December. Both of us were shocked but happy for her and congratulated her. She then proceeded saying

“so you can just come to SF to get married at the City Hall. I would need help with the baby.” I was baffled

and told her the wedding is still on, and her having a child does not change our wedding plans. She threw a fit when

I said that and hanged up. Later that day his mom called and told us to postpone the wedding 6 months so his sister

could attend it and if we don’t then she wouldn’t attend either, and that her daughters pregnancy is a bigger event than our

“STUPID” marriage. My husband was upset and chose to not respond but I lost my s__t. I told her that if my

SIL prioritised her pregnancy over our marriage (which she knew for about a year and half), we’re not obligated to prioritise her pregnancy

over our happiness.. My husband is speechless and we don’t know what to do. WIBTA for not postponing the wedding?

This story really pulls at the heartstrings because you can feel the effort the couple put into their dream. Saving for five years is a massive dedication. It is understandable why the bride feels so hurt. To have someone call your life milestone “stupid” is incredibly painful, especially coming from a parent.

The sister-in-law’s request to move the wedding to City Hall so the bride could “help with the baby” is quite baffling. It suggests a very different view of what a wedding is supposed to be. While a new baby is a joyous occasion, asking a sibling to cancel their own big day to become a helper is a very tall order. It seems there is a history here of one sibling’s needs often overshadowing the other’s.

Expert Opinion

Family dynamics can get very complicated when perceived favoritism comes into play. Psychologists often refer to this as the “golden child” syndrome, where one sibling is elevated above the others. This often continues well into adulthood. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, parental favoritism can negatively impact the sibling relationship and individual well-being long after childhood.

In this scenario, the mother’s demand to postpone the wedding suggests a deep level of enmeshment with her daughter. Enmeshment happens when family boundaries are permeable and individual autonomy is discouraged. The mother views the daughter’s needs as the family’s priority, regardless of the son’s prior commitments.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family conflict, notes that parents often struggle to accept the independence of their adult children. “When a child sets a boundary, a parent accustomed to control may view it as a rejection,” he explains. The husband’s decision to stick to his date is actually a healthy step toward what experts call “differentiation.” This means he is establishing his own identity separate from his family unit.

While the timing is unfortunate, the expectation for the couple to alter their life plans completely is unrealistic. A healthy family dynamic would likely involve sadness about missing the event but understanding that life milestones sometimes overlap.

Community Opinions

The online community rushed to support the bride and groom. They validated the couple’s feelings and offered some very strong advice about setting boundaries.

Cynicism About the Timing: Readers wondered if the sister’s request was actually a test of loyalty or control.

[Reddit User] − NTA The cynic in me thinks it's a ploy by your sister in law to see how far you'll jump if she says higher...

I wouldn't be surprised if something goes sideways with the pregnancy if you change your wedding date.

Validating the Absurd Request: Commenters were baffled by the idea of canceling a palace wedding for City Hall babysitting.

[Reddit User] − She then proceeded saying “so you can just come to SF to get married at the City Hall. I would need help with the baby. ” I...

Prioritizing the New Family: Users encouraged the groom to focus on his wife and his financial future.

Aggressive_Cup8452 − Tell her you respect that she prioritizes her daughter like that, family is important.

So from now on you and your fiance will prioritize your new family as well... Make it YOUR day.

Highlighting the Toxic Pattern: Several people noted that moving the date probably wouldn’t satisfy the family anyway.

Unlikely-Shop5114 − Don’t postpone. Six months later it’ll be “kids only 6 months old and not had all their shots so “can’t travel”.

Then it’ll be another excuse. Have your drama free wedding without... golden child and her enabler.

SusanfromMA − WNBTAH People have been given loads of time to prepare for the wedding. Is it fair to disrupt them and their travel plans for your SIL?

...if you postpone 6 months, you know she will have another reason to interfere.

Concerns About Financial Abuse: The community pointed out that money might be a tool for control in this dynamic.

AwarenessPractical14 − ...Either your soon to be husband needs to step up and talk with his parents. Then possible going low contact or no contact with them...

Then, there is also taking away the financial support to have them understand that their behavior is not acceptable.

Refining the Logic: Readers noted that being pregnant prevents travel, but shouldn’t prevent a wedding.

ApprehensiveBook4214 − NTA. Unless she's actively in labor during your wedding she can watch over zoom... This ". ..

so you can just come to SF to get married at the City Hall. I would need help with the baby" makes me wonder if she's making up the pregnancy.

Gentle Advice for the Husband: Empathy was shown for the difficult position the groom is in.

diminishingpatience − NTA. You're better off without them. his mom called... and that her daughters pregnancy is a bigger event than our “STUPID” marriage. Much better off.

lostalldoubt86 − NTA... I know you don't want to get in the middle of your husband's relationship with his family,

but you could gently hint that he should limit contact with his mother for his own mental health.

Cultural Context: Some users touched on the expectations in different family cultures.

AwarenessPractical14 − I know that in Eastern countries that children take care of their parents.

I even know a family that only had kids so that they can take care of them when they got old.

Clarifying the Location: A user added context about where the families are based.

Living-Time-9787 − We were both born and raised in US. Our parents both moved and settled here. I was born in New York Long Island and my husband around Bay...

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you ever find yourself caught between your partner and your parents, it is helpful to pause and breathe. This is one of the hardest spots to be in. The key here is presenting a united front with your partner. You might say gently, “We love you and we are so sad you won’t be there, but we cannot change plans that involve so many other people.”

Try to avoid arguing about who is “right.” Instead, focus on what is possible. Maybe there is a way to livestream the ceremony so the family at home feels included. Boundaries can be set with kindness. You can love your family from a distance if their requests become harmful to your own happiness.

Conclusion

This story reminds us that weddings are about the couple starting their life together, first and foremost. While we all want our families to be happy, it is okay to protect your own dreams when things get complicated. The couple in this story has a beautiful future ahead, even if the start is a bit rocky.

How would you handle a conflict like this? Do you think the bride should have been more flexible, or was she right to stand her ground? We would love to hear your gentle thoughts on this family dilemma.

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson - a dedicated full-time writer specializing in entertainment and news writing. Her experience in various jobs related to movies and TV show news enhances her understanding of the industry, making her an indispensable team member.

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