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Woman Finds Out Fiancé’s Ex-Wife Is Eavesdropping On Their Home Via Child’s Gizmo Watch

by Layla Bui
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

In blended families, respecting boundaries is key, but what happens when one parent doesn’t respect those lines?

This woman discovered that her fiancé’s ex-wife was using a child’s Gizmo watch to secretly listen in on their conversations at home. Despite her discomfort, the ex-wife brushes off the issue, claiming it’s between her and the father of her kids.

Now, her fiancé agrees the device needs to be turned off, but the woman is unsure whether she’s overreacting by getting involved in what she sees as a privacy violation.

Is it wrong for her to assert herself on this issue, or is she right to demand that her space be respected? Scroll down to see how others react to this challenging situation.

A woman confronts her fiancé’s ex-wife after discovering she uses a child’s watch to secretly listen in on conversations, leading to tension

Woman Finds Out Fiancé’s Ex-Wife Is Eavesdropping On Their Home Via Child’s Gizmo Watch
not the actual photo

'My fíances ex wife caught using stealth mode on their child’s Gizmo watch?'

So here I am in the kitchen hugging my fiancé yesterday.

He had his new slippers from Christmas on and I said something like “oh sexy” (just being playful).

All of a sudden his ex wife’s voice is loud as hell “hello? hellooooo?”

He walks over to the child’s Gizmo watch and after she asks for his son my fiancé asked

her how the phone picked up and she said it automatically does if nobody answers.

I’m telling you the watch did NOT ring. (she is in control bc it’s all on her phone plan and she pays for it,

while my fiancé is paying for the older child’s phone).

I then look online and sure enough the admin can shut ringer off and remotely call in with nobody knowing and listen whenever they want.

A little background this woman hates me and has no boundaries.

She was mad when she came to pick up the kids a few months ago that I was drinking coffee on my porch

and asked my fiancé why I was there on my porch like I needed to be inside when she gets the kids.

Last Halloween she walked right past me and him and walked into our house without permission with one of the kids.

The daughter says her mother doesn’t like me and it’s hard when we are all together bc she knows her mother doesn’t like me.

Back to now, he asked his daughter about the watch and daughter says

sometimes it rings and sometimes it doesn’t ring, and mom is just there so obviously she uses the feature often.

I told her I don’t appreciate her sending something to our house that allows her to listen in whenever she wants with no warning.

She pretty much told me to mind my own business bc it’s between her and “the father of her kids”.

I told her the next time this happens we will have a problem and she accused me of “threatening” her.

Fiancé says he understands my point of view, and says he will “ask her about it” and he doesn’t think she uses it.

She LITERALLY got caught using and daughter says she uses it.

He agreed it needs to be off and put away now unless child is outside or at neighbors etc.

I stay away from her, don’t go near her, try to keep peace but she makes it impossible, plays victim.

The issues are infrequent b/c I just avoid her and go on with my life but some things like this are just unavoidable. I am F50, he is M47.

AITAH for wanting to be included in this?

Their business is their business but this one issue involves me and my home. ThanksDrop Audio Feature

In relationships where exes are involved, navigating boundaries can often feel like walking a tightrope. The emotional strain is heightened when the ex-spouse’s behavior crosses into territory that directly impacts the current relationship, as is the case here.

The OP’s feelings of intrusion are valid; being able to listen in on private conversations, especially without prior warning, is a major violation of trust.

This situation touches on the fundamental emotional truth that no one should feel like they are being spied on, especially in their own home. Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, and when those boundaries are not respected, it causes discomfort and tension.

From a psychological perspective, this situation reveals a pattern of control and manipulation. The fact that the ex-wife has the ability to monitor communications through the Gizmo watch and has been using this feature without informing the OP or her fiancé is an expression of power.

In her eyes, the child’s safety and communication are at the forefront, but her actions could easily be interpreted as an attempt to maintain control over the situation and assert dominance.

When people use technology as a tool for surveillance, it often stems from unresolved feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or a desire to exert influence. It’s also a reminder that boundaries, especially in co-parenting relationships, need to be clearly defined and mutually respected.

Experts like Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, have long emphasized the importance of creating clear boundaries in relationships, both in romantic and co-parenting dynamics.

According to Gottman, “Respectful communication and mutual understanding of each other’s limits and needs are the foundation of any healthy relationship.” His research highlights how boundary violations, such as unwanted surveillance or intrusion, can lead to increased stress and undermine trust in a relationship.

In this case, it’s understandable that the OP feels uncomfortable. The situation has escalated to the point where the ex-wife’s actions directly impact the OP’s privacy and home. The fiancé’s response is key, he recognizes the importance of addressing the situation, but his inability to act swiftly and decisively only prolongs the discomfort.

The OP is right to want a say in this matter, as the actions of the ex-wife affect her home and her peace of mind. In relationships with ex-partners, it’s essential to find a balance between maintaining the necessary boundaries for effective co-parenting and ensuring that one partner doesn’t overstep into the private lives of the other.

The solution here isn’t about avoiding conflict with the ex-wife, but about establishing clear, firm boundaries to protect the current relationship. OP’s fiancé needs to recognize that this isn’t just a co-parenting issue; it’s an issue of respect and privacy in their shared home.

The next step should be to ensure that the Gizmo watch’s listening feature is turned off permanently and that both partners are on the same page when it comes to setting boundaries with the ex-wife.

Communication, transparency, and respect for privacy are essential to keeping the peace while maintaining the integrity of the relationship.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters emphasize the importance of maintaining privacy in the home and suggest actions like turning off the watch, keeping it locked away

[Reddit User] − She's literally wire tapping her kid and listening in to your conversations.

If your fiancé doesn't see a problem then he's the problem.

clownwhole − If you live there, then your privacy MUST be a part of the convo.

Do not make it about the daughter, when discussing.

Make it about her, and her sending a device that only she controls, into your private space. That is the issue after all

Altruistic_Ladder_19 − Get a lockbox and put it in there.

When the child arrives, ask them for the watch, tell them it is not a punishment, they can call mum anytime and use 1 of your phones.

Lock the box and put it in the garage, shed or next to the toilet. Give it back when the child goes home.

United-Manner20 − NTA the watch stays at the mother‘s house. End of discussion. Hard line.

AnotherDominion − That device would be in my shed whenever the kid was over.  Kid gets it back when they leave

TheLastGerudo − NTA but you're making this so much harder than it needs to be.

You know she's lying and you know what she's doing.

You know she will not stop and you know your fiance is gullible and will always take her word for it.

There is a simple fix. TURN OFF THE DAMN WATCH.

As soon as the child comes to your home, turn it off, completely.

Remove the battery altogether if you need to so the crazy ex cannot boot it up remotely. It really is just that simple.

Allow the child to turn it on and use it to call their mother, but require it to be turned off immediately after the child is finished taking to her.

The ex doesn't have to like it. She cannot force you to allow the child to have it on at anytime while the child is in your home.

She may think she does, but she doesn't, full stop.

chibbledibs − I’ve never heard of a gizmo watch, but I’d imagine you can do a factory reset on it to change the admin settings.

These Redditors express concern about the fiancé’s lack of support for the OP and his willingness to let the ex have control over their relationship

Jilltro − So your real problem isn’t the ex it’s your partner. You shouldn’t be having to deal with this at all.

Her behavior is egregious and your fiance doesn’t seem to have your back at all.

I would think long and hard before marrying this person. Why is he okay with hurting you and risking your privacy for his ex?

Background_Fox6436 − You have every right to be angry, are you sure you want to marry this guy?

If he is dumb enough to believe the ex and does not have the logic to see that

his ex was already caught spying, then I would hesitate marrying this guy.

He is foolish. Not to mention the ex has zero boundary's coming over.

I am betting the whole reason the kid has the watch in the first place is for that very feature.

It sounds like the ex wants your fiance back.

The fact that he is foolish enough to believe whatever she says is concerning.

I would think really hard if this man should be in your life let alone your fiance.

It's going to be this way for a very long time. It's not going to change. Change only occurs when someone sees' the need for it.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. It is Christmas return week now so return him to the spying ex. He cares about her more than you.

These users criticize the ex for controlling behavior, including using the watch for spying

Traditional-Trade795 − yeah sounds like the ex is a degenerate control freak and narc.

And your fiancee is a poor excuse of an adult man. I would never let my ex hold such power over my partner.

I'd get legal council if she isn't breaking any laws and then sue her

VegetableBusiness897 − You should find out if you are two party consent for eavesdropping /recording. In some states like CA it is illegal

Sensitive-Ad-5406 − Uhm. sorry to be harsh, but you should really be too old for this nonsense. Do not stand for it.

While some Reddit users sympathized with the poster’s frustration, others were quick to point out that her fiancé’s lack of action was a serious issue.

Do you think the OP’s decision to demand that the watch be turned off was justified, or did she overplay her hand? How would you handle the situation if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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