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Bride Confesses She Hated Her Wedding, Husband Now Giving Her The Silent Treatment

by Layla Bui
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

When your wedding day doesn’t go as planned, it can leave a lasting impact on your marriage. One woman found herself sacrificing her dream wedding to please her husband’s family, particularly his grandmother, who was terminally ill. While she loved her husband and was happy in their marriage, the wedding left her feeling disappointed and disillusioned.

Years later, when the topic of weddings came up again, she admitted to her husband that she had never been happy with their big day. Her confession led to a fight and her husband giving her the silent treatment.

Was it wrong for her to finally reveal her true feelings about their wedding, or should she have kept quiet to avoid conflict? Keep reading to see how this delicate situation unfolds.

A woman admits to her husband that she wasn’t happy with their wedding day, leading to conflict

Bride Confesses She Hated Her Wedding, Husband Now Giving Her The Silent Treatment
not the actual photo

'AITA For Admitting To My Husband That I Wasn't Actually Happy On Our Wedding Day?'

I (30f) have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 4 of them.

I love him and I am genuinely happy with our marriage and the life we've built together with our children.

I was happy the day he proposed. I was happy during our honeymoon.

We've had our ups and downs ever since, but overall I would say that I was happy.

Although, I wasn't happy during the planning and actual wedding. Why? Because it wasn't the wedding I wanted.

A few months into the engagement my husband's grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and was expected to live long.

Our wedding was predicted to be the last big family event that she would ever attend.

Of course I felt sad and was more than willing to change the date of the wedding to better suit her needs,

but what I was not expecting was that it would become HER wedding and I was to be treated like a figure on a play set.

She picked out the venue, the color scheme, the food, music, the flowers, and even my dress.

It all started out as subtle suggestions but when I started to try and put my foot down,

I was called a heartless bridezilla who couldn't honor a dying woman's request,

and the fact that they were paying very little into the actual wedding would be an AH thing to bring up.

After a fight my husband was told to reconsider the engagement

if I couldn't do this "one thing" and how a wedding was more important to me than actually becoming a part of the family.

Knowing that I'd never win, I sat in my car and cried for an hour,

mourning the loss of the wedding I wanted and in the end let the in-laws have their way.

I didn't even attend further meetings to discuss the planning and left both the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party early.

One the actual day I swallowed my disappointment and just went through the motions.

Since then my sister and best friend each had their weddings and I was MOH for both and was excited each time.

I took my role very seriously and had a lot of fun. My cousin is getting married and asked me to be her MOH and I jumped at the chance.

Recently, I've been spending hours on the phone/Zoom putting together a planning binder.

My husband took note of my enthusiasm and made a joke about "missing that energy" on our day and brushed it off.

After that I cut down my wedding planning in his presence but he wouldn't let up,

citing that we don't keep any wedding photos out, that I got rid of my dress

as soon as I could and how I looked so much more happy at someone else's wedding than our own.

He wouldn't let up and eventually we got into a fight where I finally confessed that while I love him I hated our wedding.

My husband is now hurt and giving me the silent treatment. AITA?

Edit: I stepped away for a little bit but I'm already getting so many wonderful comments and messages.

Thank you so much for validating my feels. Although there are some things that I wanted to clear up first.

1. My husband's grandma died a few months after we came back from the honeymoon

and she recounted how our wedding as being one of the happiest moments of her final days

so I made the decision to not bring up how much it wasn't a good day for me,

so my husband and I have never really talked about our wedding in this way until now.

2. While I am into super planner mode for my cousin's wedding I am strictly adhering to the "Bride and Groom Get Final Say" rule

because I don't want to make others feel how I did. Hence the binder so if they shoot down one suggestion I've got three others. Lol.

From a distance, weddings are often imagined as joyful milestones filled with laughter, love, and unforgettable memories. But beneath that ideal lies a deeper emotional truth: major life events can stir powerful feelings when personal dreams clash with external expectations.

In the OP’s case, the pain wasn’t about her marriage itself, she loves her husband and values their life together, but about losing her voice during one of the most symbolic moments of her life. She compromised her own desires under family pressure, sacrificing the wedding she had imagined for a version shaped by others.

That conflict between what she wanted and what she gave in to left a lasting emotional imprint that quietly shaped her experience of the day and, later, her openness with her husband.

When most people think about weddings, they focus on the celebration. But psychology research shows that wedding planning often generates significant emotional stress, especially when family members exert influence over decisions.

According to Verywell Mind, emotions tend to run high during the lead‑up to a wedding, causing individuals to feel overwhelmed, irritable, or exhausted, and experts recommend setting boundaries early to protect personal well‑being.

Psychology Today also notes that family conflict and the pressures of perfection can strain even the strongest relationships, creating anxiety and tension during engagement and planning.

This expert insight helps explain why OP felt so conflicted. Her unhappiness wasn’t a judgment on her husband or the life they built together, it was a response to a moment where her personal significance was overshadowed by others’ expectations.

Verywell Mind explains that wedding stress often stems from emotional overwhelm and pressure to meet everyone’s demands, making it easy for individuals to lose sight of their own needs.

That aligns closely with OP’s experience: she set aside her vision to maintain peace and avoid disappointing her husband’s family, suppressing her own reactions for the sake of others.

Understanding this dynamic shows why her eventual honesty with her husband felt so raw. It wasn’t simply a confession about the wedding; it was the culmination of emotional suppression that hadn’t been acknowledged before.

Expert commentary on wedding stress highlights that unrealistic expectations and pressure from loved ones can lead to resentment and emotional fatigue, even when the underlying relationship is strong.

This is why OP’s feelings are valid and deserve compassionate consideration. Major milestones like weddings involve not just logistics but deeply personal visions of meaning and celebration.

Couples can benefit from having open dialogues about these emotional experiences well before the wedding day, rather than letting silence compound hidden disappointment.

Rather than framing the truth as hurtful, it can be seen as an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection. In relationships, being heard, even about difficult emotions, is a step toward greater empathy and support.

How do you think couples can balance their own wedding dreams with family pressures in ways that protect both mental well‑being and relationship harmony? Share your thoughts.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These commenters agree that the OP’s feelings are valid, as the wedding was hijacked by the family

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

dbohat − NTA. You gave up your wedding for his family and were perfectly fine just never talking about it.

He wanted the truth and he got it. He should be thankful for what you did for his grandma.

Zoeyoe − NTA- He was wrong for not standing up for you and his family was very entitled and quite frankly disgusting with their behavior.

He can stay mad because it doesn’t change the fact that they hijacked YOUR wedding.

They choose the venue, dress, and all the other important things.

This group suggests the OP plan a vow renewal for themselves, highlighting how the wedding was compromised

Lakota_Six − NTA. Make plans to renew your vows and plan it yourself and have the wedding of your dreams then.

MrsJonesy2012 − NTA. But plan your dream wedding for you vow renewal. I'm currently planning mine.

I ended up 7 months pregnant at my wedding so my dress wasn't what I wanted. Money was an issue.

We vetoed having it abroad (my dream was a beach wedding)

as my grandma wouldn't of been able able come, and then I was pregnant etc.

So I've spent 10 years daydreaming about our renewal and it's finally in sight.

Famous_Brick5588 − NTA. I think you need to discuss this again when the dust has settled a bit.

Just explain that you love him, you love your life with him and always have but you didn’t love the wedding;

however you accepted it because the marriage was more important to you.

To him, this was a surprise and disappointment as he thought you were happy and probably loved the wedding

as she was able to be there and that was clearly important to him.

It’s left him with a new view on it and he may need to think it over. However, he can’t stay mad as you haven’t done anything wrong (IMO).

He asked and asked, and you were honest. I’m sorry your wedding planning wasn’t fun - some people mock brides

and say “it’s only one day” but it’s a big, important and often expensive day and you should love it whilst not being a bridezilla.

Maybe let him cool down and then talk again but think about your wording whilst he’s digesting it.

These commenters note the husband’s lack of support during the wedding planning and urge for better communication about the hurt caused

Cevanne46 − So to be clear, he pushed your feelings completely to one side and made it all about his needs

(to support his grandmother) at your wedding and now when you reflect back on how much he hurt you,

he's pushed your feelings completely to one side and made it all about him again. NTA but is he always like this?

ShelfLifeInc − My husband is now hurt and giving me the silent treatment. INFO: Is he actually giving you silent treatment?

Or is he simply processing the knowledge that he and his family pressured you into something you didn't want and ruined your day?

If he was still trying to call you selfish for expecting your wedding to be about you and is punishing you for that,

he would definitely be the a__hole. But it may just be that he is rewriting the memory in his head, and that s__t takes time.

This may be the first time he's actually realising that "wasn't it a wonderful wedding, we got to get married AND celebrate Grandma"

was not what happened and the truth is closer to

"my family bullied my wife into giving up her milestone event and making her a mere extra at her own wedding,

and only now that I'm seeing other weddings

and how happy my wife is at other people's weddings do I realise how much she and I were both robbed."

WiseBad1 − NTA. Every time you tried to have something of your wedding for yourself,

you were gaslit with guilt to make you conform to what they wanted. You’re allowed to be upset over that.

Your husband still doesn’t understand this.

Tell him “shoe on the other foot and hypothetically, it’s my mom is dying, and everything you want for our wedding is denied

because it’s not what she wants. She picks the color, your suit, every important detail,

and you’re not allowed to have an opinion because she’s dying.

You’re basically a doll that’s getting dressed up and going through the motions of a day

that you thought you would have had more of a hand in considering it’s your damn wedding. Then try and see it from my point of view. ”

They emphasize that the husband should have defended the OP, and they suggest addressing the issue head-on with open conversations

barnescando − NTA. Ask your husband what he expects? Ask him.

Sit down and ask him what he expected to be said when every single decision was taken from you

and that you were harassed and abused until you gave in Edit: My most liked comment so far.

CanadianAreNice − NTA for your feelings but why did you not talk to your husband

during the planning of your wedding to let him know how you felt at the time?

EvanWasHere − INFO: I just don't understand. EVEN THE DRESS?

Like, when they told you the dress they wanted you to wear and you said no

and they called you a bridezilla, did you not respond "just to understand. I'm the bride.

It's my wedding. Am I really not allowed to choose the dress I'm going to get married in?

I'm a bridezilla because I want to wear a dress at my wedding that I like and choose myself?

Did any of you not choose you own dress at your own goddamned wedding?

I have no issue with grandma choosing things as well, but she got to plan her own wedding and wasn't called a bridezilla.

Is my opinion at my own wedding really less?

" It's great that you moved up the wedding for her. But your husband is TA for not protecting you.

For not putting his foot down. Ask him if he knows anyone else in his family that didn't choose their own wedding dress.

[Reddit User] − Condolences to the grandmother that passed away.

But if as one of your last acts on Earth is to hijack someone else's wedding and use your own death as a means of guilt-tripping,

that in of itself tells me what kind of person you are and the kind of family that is produced from this mentality.

Was the grandmother an isolated incident or is his family moreover over-bearing and authoritarian?

Decent_Ad6389 − NTA I hated our wedding. My husband is now hurt and giving me the silent treatment.

I'm glad he's hurt. Because you were hurt too. Was he not present during any of this? He didn't stand up for you.

I'm hoping that this sulking is because he feels bad for not having stood up for you,

not because he childishly thinks you should have had a princess good time.

You need marriage counseling to resolve this. He needs to hear exactly what his family did to you and how it scarred you.

Because they were AWFUL to you. Hell, he was awful to you.

He wasn't there for you. He let his family steamroller you for their own purposes.

These Redditors question the husband’s response to the situation, suggesting he may be avoiding responsibility for not defending his wife during the wedding planning process

ninaa1 − INFO: why is your husband taking this so personally right now?

He couldn't be pissed to ask you if everything was okay during the actual planning of your wedding,

but now he's getting mad at you for how it went down?

So yet again he is acting like you don't have the right to feel your own feelings about your wedding.

Is he like this often? Does he get mad at you when your feelings don't match up with what he thinks you should be feeling?

The husband’s hurt is real, but his reaction to her honesty? It’s time for him to process that. The truth isn’t always easy to hear, but it’s necessary for growth.

What do you think? Was the husband wrong for his reaction, or should the bride have kept her feelings to herself? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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