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New Mom Refuses To Stop Kissing Her Baby, Now Her Mother-In-Law Is Furious

by Annie Nguyen
January 1, 2026
in Social Issues

Becoming a new parent often means setting boundaries for the sake of your child, even when that makes family members uncomfortable. Medical advice can clash with expectations, especially during those fragile first weeks, and not everyone takes those limits well.

In this case, a first-time mom followed her pediatrician’s guidance about contact with her newborn until a simple moment sparked an unexpected reaction from her mother-in-law. What started as a comment quickly turned into accusations and a surprising request that left her questioning herself. Scroll down to see how it all unfolded.

A new mom follows a doctor’s no-kissing rule, but her MIL objects after seeing her kiss the baby

New Mom Refuses To Stop Kissing Her Baby, Now Her Mother-In-Law Is Furious
not the actual photo

AITA for refusing to stop kissing my own baby?

My husband (M25) and I (F25) have a six-week-old daughter.

She's our first baby and the first grandchild in both of our families.

We were advised by our pediatrician to not allow anyone besides ourselves to kiss our baby for the first 8-12 weeks minimum.

This has been communicated to both of our families who have been respectful of this

(as well as our other boundaries/rules) despite a little bit of grumbling about it from his side.

Last weekend we were over at my in-laws house and I had just finished breastfeeding my daughter,

so she was all sleepy. I kissed her forehead before settling her to nap on my chest.

My MIL noticed and immediately remarked on it in a super passive-aggressive manner:

"Oh, I'm so glad that we're able to kiss [baby] now! Did your pediatrician update the rules?"

I was super confused and asked her what she meant and that the pediatrician's recommendation hadn't changed.

She then accused me of violating the rules by kissing my own baby.

I told her that the recommendation was that no one besides myself and my husband kiss our daughter,

and she argued and heavily implied that I was being dishonest

because I'd previously said "nobody can kiss the baby" rather than "nobody but husband and I can kiss the baby."

She went on and on about this until I snapped that it should've been obvious

that the rules we told her regarding our baby were about what we would/wouldn't allow OTHER PEOPLE to do.

She called me a h__ocrite so I got up and shut myself in the guest room while my daughter continued to nap on me.

A little while later MIL came in and "apologized," claiming it was a knee-jerk reaction,

and she was just confused and upset. She said she understands now that the rule only applies to other people.

She then asked me if I would avoid kissing my baby in front of her until she's allowed to do so as well,

because it's upsetting to see me doing that and knowing that she can't.

I told her I can understand that it's frustrating to have a strong urge to kiss a baby and not be able to.

But I am personally not going to stop kissing my own baby for the sake of her feelings.

MIL is calling me disrespectful and a h__ocrite and has gotten SIL on board with this as well. AITA?

Setting boundaries, especially around a vulnerable child, can feel as intuitive as love itself, yet as socially awkward as asking someone to wash their hands before dinner. In this scenario, the OP wasn’t just confronting a curious mother‑in‑law.

She was trying to protect a tiny human while navigating the expectations, assumptions, and emotional needs of the adults around her. Many parents have experienced that inner tug between protecting their child and soothing hurt feelings, but when those collide, the emotional stakes feel enormous.

At the core of this story lies a mix of protection and miscommunication. The OP and her husband followed pediatric advice to limit who kisses their six‑week‑old, yet that rule was misinterpreted as forbidding affection itself.

The mother‑in‑law’s passive‑aggressive remarks and insistence that the OP not kiss her own baby again weren’t really about safety; they were about feeling excluded from an intimate experience.

Meanwhile, the OP’s frustration wasn’t merely defensiveness, but exhaustion from having to justify her parenting choices while also tending to her child.

The emotional dynamics here reflect a common pattern: when adults feel denied something precious, they sometimes redirect their discomfort as criticism toward the very people trying to enforce safety.

When viewed from different psychological perspectives, we see how individuals interpret parental boundaries through the lens of their own unmet desires. To some, the OP’s actions may seem obvious and reasonable.

But for others, especially those who deeply long for closeness with a newborn, boundaries can feel personal and punitive even when they are neither. Men and women often process such situations differently, too.

Some may prioritize rules and safety first, while others first feel the emotional loss of not being included in affection, not realizing those boundaries were never meant to punish but to protect.

Expert insight helps ground this emotionally charged situation. According to child development experts, setting limits with empathy is a crucial part of parenting because it gives children and caregivers a sense of security and consistency.

Research on effective limit‑setting emphasizes that “children develop optimally when we set limits as necessary, but do so with empathy,” which helps the child internalize boundaries without causing emotional conflict. Empathy paired with clear rules teaches safety, structure, and respect for emotional needs.

This is why the OP’s choices make psychological sense. She wasn’t being “hypocritical” or cold; she was applying advice rooted in developmental psychology: protecting her baby’s health while recognizing that guidelines exist for safety, not emotional punishment.

Her refusal to stop showing affection to her own child reflects a core principle of attachment and secure caregiving: parents provide comfort and safety first, even when others struggle to understand those boundaries.

Rather than viewing boundaries as obstacles, we can see them as acts of love and responsibility not only toward the child, but toward the long‑term emotional health of the family.

Parents can stand firm while also offering understanding; relatives can be encouraged to respect safety guidelines without their own feelings turning into pressure or guilt. In the end, honoring both the child’s well-being and the adults’ emotions leads to healthier relationships for everyone involved.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

These Reddit users roasted the MIL for being absurd about kissing the baby

Swirlyflurry − NTA What’s next, is she going to ask you to stop breastfeeding in front of her

since she doesn’t get to do it too? She needs to back off

Loading-Laundry − NTA - what's next, is she gonna ask you to stop breastfeeding the baby

because she can't breastfeed the baby? Tell her she's being absurd

and if she wants to keep seeing her grandchild, she needs to do some growing up herself.

apritch7 − Definitely NTA What is with this obsession that people have for kissing OTHER peoples babies,

especially that young. Bugs the hell out of me.

These commenters backed limiting MIL involvement and emphasized spouse responsibility

Zthehumam − NTA: if you like, I’d be happy to politely tell your MIL to go to hell.

In all honesty, your spouse needs to deal with this.

The rule should always always be: “your parent, your problem”

(excepting those handful of situations where the in-laws like the spouse more than their own kid).

AceyAceyAcey − NTA you are literally following medical advice,

and also giving your baby the necessary skin contact that infants need.

If your MIL can’t take this, your husband should be mediating the interactions,

not you, and you should consider going LC with her.

Traveler691 − This is absurd. You need to just limit contact with these nut jobs until your baby has had her immunizations.

Your husband needs to step up here and deal with his relatives.

Incidentally, when YOU kiss YOUR baby, you pick up bacteria and viruses on her skin.

Your body, with its mature immune system, creates antibodies which are delivered to her at her next feeding. NTA

This group agreed the issue is with the MIL, not OP, and staying away is valid

ThrowRAsharingabed − NTA you don’t have a baby kissing problem, you have a mother in law problem

corgihuntress − Solution: Don't go near either of them with the baby

and then they won't have to see a damned thing. NTA

DisabledSecretPolice − NTA If the rule upsets her that much she can stay away until she is allowed to kiss the baby.

lilwildjess − Nta, you are better than me.

I would have told her if it was a such a problem then you will see you once she able to kiss the baby.

oregon_mom − Nta. News flash. There are TONS of things that you get to do as mom that she doesn't get to do as grandma.

If she can't get in board with that her involvement in babies life isn't mandatory.

What started as a tender moment between parent and child became a point of contention, peeling back layers of expectation, entitlement, and protective instincts.

Do you think the mother was right to stand her ground on affection and her own comfort, or should she have placated the in-laws? How would you balance family sentiments with medical advice and personal autonomy? Share your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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